Tag Archives: world domination

It’s my birthday too! YEAH!

They say it’s your birthday
It’s my birthday too, yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time

Princess Birthday Party a few years ago. Yeah. I rock the tiara..

I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you

Birthday – The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

Holy crap.. what a difference a year makes!

Last year… Still stuck in Barrie, trying to sell my house.. SNOWED on my birthday.. overall not one of the BEST birthdays ever (Read about it here … strictly for comparison’s sake..)

And as much as I was attempting to see the good in everything.. people who love me, yadda yadda.. silver linings.. blah blah blah.. (I jest..) It was still slightly depressing… not gonna lie.

Katy and I hung out and it was nice.. but.. at the time… no gig.. and not much else was going on either.
So.. skip ahead a year.

Today, I spent my birthday moving.. not entirely.. but some.  I moved all my things out of BFF Jodi’s house in St. Catharine’s and to my NEW PLACE in Kitchener! (Conveniently located pretty much across the street from the ex husband/kid’s house.. it’s cool.. we’re friends..) I haven’t quite moved in yet.. not till I get back from my trip.. to freakin’ California!!!

SO. I’m sure you now require explanation.

NEW PLACE!!!

In January, my sister Barb asked if I’d be interested and able to go with her to California in April.. .and it was a sweet deal.. so I said yes. In the meantime.. I’ve been doing some contract work for a company in Kitchener which has led to me spending more time there.. (and finding excuses to hang out… not gonna lie… I love the town. Oh, and my kids. Most days anyway…)

Then.. a few weeks ago.. just was checking out online some places in town.. and found a place right near my ex and the kids.. it all just FIT.

THEN.. the company I was doing work for.. asked me to come on full time!
It’s INSANE, really…

To summarize:

Today is my birthday. I moved my things from St. Catharine’s to Kitchener to my new place until I get back.

Tomorrow.. Barb and I are off to San Francisco where we will visit our aunts, uncles and cousins.. drink wine.. ride electric bikes (Yes, there are SO cool, Lara!)  take a boat tour and do many other exciting adventuresome things..

We fly back late on the 16th… and early the 17th I’ll head back to the K-dub.. because…. All my stuff that has been in storage for months will be delivered and FINALLY I will have my own place again.  Sleeping in my own bed every night is something I totally look forward to.

Then.. Monday, April 19th.. my first official day. I am the Social Media Manager for Waters Denison Internet Group.  I map out social media strategy for various clients based on where relevant conversations are happening on the internet.. then I implement said strategy.

Which means.. I Twitter and Facebook for a living. Seriously. (Okay, that’s simplifying it, but still.. WHO better suited to this gig? Really? Yeah that’s right, me… chick who updates her FB status from her physical/church/jail or wherever I happen to be… (but never the washroom. That’s just gross)

Therefore, on this birthday.. Yeah, I’m now forty fuckin’ six.. but it’s awesome. New digs back in the Kdub.. new gig… which I LOVE.. back with friends, kids, family.. AND I’m going to California to celebrate!!

However.. still no love life. Hence, still something to complain about.. 😉

Oh, and since I didn’t have a real chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends…. we’ll do that at the Housewarming party April 24th…

Life: Loving it!
Love: I am loving life… No boys. But… maybe that’s next on my karmic list? Who knows??!
Pants: Okay.. there’s been some slacking.. so maybe Barb and I should take real bikes instead of electric.. LOL

p.s. stay tuned for updates from California..




Birds of A Feather..

Those who know me, know I’m a big fan of the social media.  I enjoyed the MySpace, then moved on to the Facebook.. I also enjoy MSN on a very regular basis.. and in the last year or so became a “Twitterer”.  Yes, I tweet. Often. Sometimes with disregard to others. That is usually when I’ve had a couple bevvies, mind you… but I digress..

I rarely use fuckin’ profanity on the Twitter. Why? Well.. some business type folks (and some clergy, go figure..) follow me and I don’t want to be horribly offensive.. after all, that’s what the blog is for.. regardless…

For those of you who don’t “tweet” I felt compelled to share some of my ramblings.. just some highlights.. (yes yes this is another way of saying that I’ve been lazy…….. so sue me.)


I refer to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day”    2:04 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck

@steffer1 perhaps we should organize a tweetup for all our single friends…. LOL Everyone wears black.    2:16 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck  in reply to steffer1

Another day, another Facebook friend request from someone I don’t know… *delete*    10:27 AM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Annoyed. Had a parking ticket for parking where I was told to park. Yeah, we’ll be fighting this.    12:41 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Sooooo… just why would anyone WANT their own Nick Lachey? #daytimetvsucks    1:56 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

@meggroff and here I thought you were just going to continue with “pantless day” and “do resumes drunk day”    9:58 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff my fave part of your resume is where you listed “kickin’ it old skool” & “pounding back a 40 w/ my homies” under “special skillz”    10:22 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff Perhaps if you offered to share. Just sayin’. Or maybe if you took “stickin’ it to the man” out from under “hobbies”    10:55 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

Frosted flakes are pretty delicious.    12:34 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

Dear @billgates my MSN is not working. Please fix it. Thankssomuch. Love, Beth    7:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

hint: if you have the “let people know what I’m listening to” thing on your msn.. make sure that it doesn’t show Demi Lovato if you are 40    9:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

i wish I had crackers    9:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I was wondering if I’d ever marry again. I will marry again if it’s legal to marry food product in ON. I LOVE YOU MELTED CHEESE!    10:04 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

do you ever wanna just slide your fingers one space over so that people think you are typing in another language?    10:06 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

GWT AI GIQ;A UA FIUBF U RGUBJF TIY EIXJ    10:07 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

@SarahRobinson it was delicious. I love food. Can I legally marry food? or Ikea?    10:11 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@SarahRobinson I can hardly wait to be Mrs Grilled Cheese. now the break up btwn me and the Hamburglar makes sense…..    10:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@JamesAWoods @SarahRobinson I’ve been to Texas. Love it. they have beef and large things. I’m in ..   10:20 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to JamesAWoods

I’m going to bed. Mocha the wonderdog is going with me. so she will not be answering any DMs    10:44 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I’m really hoping @badwebsites is working out right now.. need him to be all buff for the reunion. Oh. It’s in May.. not June.    1:38 AM Feb 6th   via TweetDeck

Booooo. Worst part about the SuperBowl is that we don’t get to see the cool commercials. #OhCanada    8:12 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

I would be really interested to see if hits dropped significantly on Porn sites during the SuperBowl. #justsayin    9:46 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

@tw_i_tt_e_r Unfortunately, I’ve made a habit of dating men with bad hair. Last guy looked like a homeless dude….    7:18 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck  in reply to tw_i_tt_e_r

“Mom, I know your heart is black and cold, but quit making fun of people just trying to find love”.. DD to me Re: the Bachelor …    8:54 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Hey! Baby mamas on Maury!! Here’s a thought… birth control! THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO CHASE THESE GUYS DOWN… #justsayin    9:04 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Maury should give out giants gift baskets of condoms to the guys on his show….    9:09 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck


Guten morgan. (Feeling kinda German being in the K-dub and all….)    7:57 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I love it when you get an unexpected call from someone you love and haven’t talked to ages… #sofartodayisexcellent    9:17 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

Today: ass kicking, soup making, build-a-bear, work, coffee drinking, more ass kicking, chat with the HS Vice Principal…. I need a drink.    5:52 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… you can put Montreal Steak Spice on ANYTHING and it makes it good…    6:46 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve decided to become a crazy cat lady… I got the crazy part down..     4:25 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

Got myself a free steak dinner. It was not hot, but free.    8:18 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

I apparently have coined a new phrase “I will fist bump you in the face”.. all the kids are saying it…    1:29 PM Feb 12th   via TweetDeck

Although I appreciate short forms, if you msn or text me and use ALL of them, I think you are illiterate. #justsayin    11:30 PM Feb 13th   via TweetDeck

Unlike the rest of you, I am celebrating “Singles Awareness Day”….    10:44 AM Feb 14th   via TweetDeck

@badwebsites LOL .. no flowers, the only chocolate I got was “free with purchase” at Victoria’s Secret.. however, I did get some VD beer…    7:21 PM Feb 15th   via TweetDeck  in reply to badwebsites

Does it count if you give up abstinence for Lent?    4:51 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

DD making a pic of me on the computer. Son says “you look like a 5 star hooker”. Apparently it was a compliment….    7:08 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

Yes, I know. “Way to cut and paste!” Well, if you want the live action .. follow me on Twitter. @beth_warren.  I’m reasonably amusing.

Life: All good
Love: Move along. Nothing to see here (YES, there will be a dating update soon. Promise)
Pants: I really want to make a reference to “pants on the ground” but that’s Sooooooo over

Rumour has It…

Walking through the line at the grocery store I can’t help but be drawn to the magazines at the checkout..

You see all the celebrities and all their problems and stuff on the headlines of the mags, and you can’t help but wonder what is fact and what’s fiction..

Obviously, the REFUSING TO EAT headline is not about me..

Are Brad and Angelina DONE?

Is Brittany back on whatever the heck she was on? Is she CRAZZZZZZZY?

What about those poor Gosselin kids? Oprah’s weight? Nicole Richie’s weight? And what the heck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan? (other than the drugs and alcohol. Oh, and the crazy..)

Whatever.  Like I care. Yes, some rumours are based in truth… but seriously. Why on earth do people really care?

Because it gives them something to talk about other than their own mundane lives.

Which leads me to…….. rumours that I’ve run across about me in the last year through various sources…

Let me set ya straight..

1 – That I had moved to Nashville.  – Based in fact, but not quite true – Well.. yes, I talked to someone about possibly working with a company in Nashville, however it became painfully obvious that dude was not tremendously interested in my brain, but more so everything below it. Needless to say that once he sent me some “personal photos” I realized that this would not be a stellar career move. ‘Nuff said.

2 – That I was taking a gig in Florida.  – Partially true – I was offered a job working for a rap music label in Florida.  A lovely young “gangsta” offered me the gig as he “likes to surround himself with white people as the homies will rip you off.”  This did not happen for a variety of reasons.  Suffice to say that I hate rap music.

3 – Joining the UFC. – Based in fact – Ok, I just wrestled with some chick in a bar on a dare for some free drinks. Okay. That’s not true either. I made the whole thing up cuz I thought it sounded cool.

4 – I was getting engaged and moving out west.  – Based in fact – I was enraged at one point. And I was thinking of taking a trip to Edmonton to visit a friend. Does that count?

5 – Spent time in rehab. – False – Rehab is for quitters.

6 – I found Jesus – True – He was under the couch cushion with the remote.

7 – I was moving to KW – True. Sorta – Well,  I moved to St. Catharines and technically still live there. But I’m planning on moving to the K-dub ASAP.

8 – I’m pregnant. John Mayer is the father. – SO TOTALLY FALSE  – do you not read the blog?  And the closest I ever came to Mayer was sitting in his ass print once after Fernando worked with him one time and had to drive him around.

9 – I’m anorexic. – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Really? Really? LMAO

10 – I’m working on a plan for world domination. – True – Still finalizing my evil plot.

Life: Going well..
Love: Nothing to see here
Pants: Yeah, I got some.

Another Quiz because I’m too Lazy to Think of Anything..

Okay, maybe not LAZY per se.. but I did get this via email and thought I’d do this as I’m having a bit of a hard time thinking of hilarious things lately (but just wait.. you know I’ll think of something eventually..) It’s mostly due to my ongoing plans for world domination. It’s difficult to be ever so enchanting and amusing when you are struggling with how to overthrow world powers.. and what to wear.. but I digress..
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Granny.. Mary Elizabeth. But I’m Beth, not Liz. If you call me Liz or Elizabeth I likely will not respond.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I can’t recall to tell the truth. I’m a rock. LOL. ummm… likely was being slightly hormonal and shed a tear at something silly.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I mostly print, but yes, when I’m not being sloppy, my handwriting is quite nice, thanks.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Likely turkey, but I like many

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two.. Katy (nearly 20) and Josh (140

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.  I’m a pretty good partner in crime.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Is that a rhetorical question?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope.  No adnoids either.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I’ll pass. Jumped off a 40 foot board as a teen and my ears popped. Hard. Not fun.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Hmmm.. I like Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Special K (my sister and I used to tell people my grandfather invented it and that the K really stood for KUBILIUS.. our birth name)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Not often

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically: yes, though not as much as I’d like to be.  Emotionally: yes and no.  Sometimes I am analytical and stoical, sometimes I can be as unstable as a bag of rats in a meth lab….

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE
Eyes, personality.. smile.. teeth (or lack thereof)

14. RED OR PINK?
Red. Always Red.  Everything in my purse is red, as is my phone, car, bedding.. you name it..

15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My self-doubt. My lack of willpower.. LOL

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
All of the people I don’t see nearly often enough..

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Who said I was wearing pants? 😉

18.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Chicken and Salad

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The Beatles White Album

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Red. Dark Red.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla, fabric softener, fresh smells, citrusy.. outdoors.. a campfire burning, babies.  (I re-read that, and I hope you please note that there is a comma in there. I do not condone the burning of babies, small animals or trash for that matter..)

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Katy

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, a friend from long ago.  🙂

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football.

25. HAIR COLOUR?
Black. Although it has been known to be various shades of brown and red.

26. EYE COLOR?
Hazel.. but depending on the light, what I’m wearing and if I’ve cried.. brown or greenish

27.  FAVORITE FOOD?
All of it.  Steak, shrimp.. barbequed meat is number one with me.

28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy. Funny movies please.. life is depressing enough without horror films or having to listen to Coldplay.

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
uh… Shawshank Redemption.. again.

30. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black

34.  FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate mousse perhaps.. cheesecake

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Story of You

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It is black like my heart.

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nada. Wasn’t home.

38. FAVORITE SOUND?
hmmm.. laughter

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Germany..  and South America

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Does being a smartass count?

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
St. Joseph’s Hospital, Hamilton Ontario.

Life: going well
Love: do you realize how much I regret calling the blog “Life Love and Pants”..?  Each time I must think of something amusing to indicate my lack of love life. But honestly, I’m not bitter.. LOL
Pants: Did I say I was wearing pants? 😉

Quiz Me

Ok, so when I get lazy with the posts, I put up one of these quiz things….

WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?: Elizabeth Ann Margaret Kubilius Warren
NICKNAMES?: Evil Genius, Promo Princess.. Bethany.. in high school one of my nicknames was Cinnamon…
SINGLE OR TAKEN?: Single. Do you not read the blog?
BIRTHDAY?: April 6th
ZODIAC SIGN?: Aries
AGE?: forty fuckin’ five
HAIR?: Black
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?: St Catharines and Kitchener. It’s a long story
WHAT COLOUR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: black. Always black.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?:   Filling out this quiz. Sucking on a beer.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU DID?:  Sneezed
WHAT IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU: Elvis. He’s everywhere.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU ATE OUT WITH?: Jodi and Stephanie
IF U WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?: One of those bouncy balls that you sit on. Or maybe a Big Wheel. Or perhaps a crazy Build A Bear with a voice box that when pressed would reveal satanic messages…
WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON?: how much more depressing can this quiz be? I already told you I was single so it’s not likely a honeymoon is in the future. Fine. Italy. or somewhere in Europe. Spain would also be cool.
WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH?: Crap! This got more depressing! Other than my kids.. the love of my life aka a player to be named later..
HOWS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?: Cold
LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE?: Josh.
LAST PERSON WHO TEXT YOU: Josh
LAST PERSON YOU TEXT: Josh
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?: Yes, otherwise I would have blocked them by now.
WHAT DO YOU THINK A TOBLERONE IS?: It’s a chocolate bar, genius.  Part of the Festive Special
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Jeans and a tee shirt
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?: no
WHO DO CONSIDER YOUR CLOSEST/BESTEST FRIEND?: Jodi, Jenn, Katy… Trevor.. and Steph has become a great BFF..
WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU?:  don’t touch the handles on the washroom doors
DO YOU OWN A VEHICLE?: yes. it’s red. I like it
HAVE YOU EVER WON A SPECIAL AWARD?: Yes. A couple “manager of the year” things and Record Company Person of the Year from the CCMA
WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS?: Immediate future: sleep.  Long range plans: world domination
FAVOURITE FOOD?: all of it. and more.
FAVOURITE FILM:  The Shawshank Redemption, Wizard of Oz.. many.. Dodgeball. Anything with Will Ferrell except Semi Pro
LAST FILM YOU SAW AT CINEMA?: uh… not sure.. something with Hugh Jackman
FAVE BOYS COLOGNE: I have a weird penchant for Swiss Army. I’m apparently in high school
FAVE GIRLS PERFUME: I love Cool Water, Roots Spirit, and Swiss Army for Girls. And Vanilla perfume oil. It makes me smell like cookies.
DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?: sometimes
ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK ANYONE OUT?: sometimes
IF YOU COULD CHANGE YOUR NAME TO ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Princess Regina Bananahammock
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
WHAT IS THE MOST STUPID THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?: really? do you think I’m going to put that in writing? just THINK of the legal repercussions…
DO YOU LIKE SCARY OR HAPPY MOVIES?: Happy
CHRISTMAS OR EASTER?: Christmas
LUST OR LOVE?: hopefully both
KISSES OR HUGS?: both
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: the fact that I am not getting lust, love or kisses or hugs at the moment
WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR PYJAMAS: red
WHAT COLOUR’S YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?: purple
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS QUIZ?: it’s depressing the crap out of me to be quite frank. Can you PLEASE include more questions about how ridiculously single I am? FML.
FAVE PART OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?: brain
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: loneliness.. helplessness

WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?: coffee

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT?: depends
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?: Jesus. I want him to show me that “water into wine” trick. It will save me a BUNDLE!
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD IT BE: Supreme Ruler or Game Show Host.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?: full. of alcohol hopefully
WHATS YOUR FAVE NUMBER?: 6
SUMMER OR WINTER?: Summer
CAKE OR PIE?: Pie
SILVER OR GOLD?: Gold.. Allergic to silver
DIAMONDS OR PEARLS?: Diamonds
SUNRISE OR SUNSET?: Either
HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE?: Right hip fractured in a car accident. Collar bone fractured falling out of bed. I was five. Get your mind out of the gutter.
DO YOU WEAR RINGS?: rarely
DO YOU HATE ANYONE: Neo Nazis and prejudiced people. And Coldplay. Oh, and Nickelback.
ARE YOU LOUD OR QUIET: really? you had to ask? LOUD
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:  absolutely

Life: Good thanks
Love: No reports
Pants: I told you, I’m wearing jeans.

Lab Rats, Bad Hair and World Domination

I often maintain that my ultimate goal is world domination. Kinda like Pinky and the Brain.“What’re we going to do tonight, Brain?” “Same thing we do every night, Pinky.  Try to take over the world.”

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" "I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so."

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" "I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so."

And although I am kind of short, my plans aren’t usually thwarted by being a lab rat. I have opposable thumbs.. of reasonable stature.. I’m something of an evil genius.. obviously I have a lot going for me…. not being an experimental rodent and all.

So, you ask, WHY have I not succeeded in this lofty goal? Why have I not completed my quest for world domination and ultimate supremacy?

Three words: Bad hair days.

Pinky and the Brain have time. They don’t have hair. They have fur. Far more manageable. No fussing about allows them time to work on their evil plans.  Me? Not so lucky.

I have tempermental hair. It’s a struggle. Today for instance.. My bangs were all wonky and I tried to re-do them a few times by wetting them and re-drying them but it was no use. They still looked dumb. They went all “flippy”. So instead of getting on with aligning my very own “axis of evil” I had to break out the straightener.

I believe this to be why most world leaders are male. They don’t give a crap about their hair. Think about it. Winston Churchill? He did not spend any time on that lid. Gorbachev? Really. Look at it.  No effort at all there.

There’s a reason why Khomeini wore the headgear, same with Che Guevara and Castro. It’s not all about fashion or religious stuff.. it was to hide the bad hair, I’m convinced.  They neglected their appearances and thus had far more time for socio-political activity.

     "Dude, seriously, saves me SO much time in the AM" "I gotta get a hat..."

"Dude, seriously, saves me SO much time in the AM" "I gotta get a hat..."

Don’t even try to bring up Margaret Thatcher with me. THAT hairdo was not stellar. I read on the interwebs that it was actually a hat made of horsehair. It’s why it never moved. Here’s the bottom line:  Women have SO MUCH MORE to do than men that the “taking over the world” thing winds up on the end of the list.

We don’t JUST have hair, but make-up, picking out the cute shoes… nails.. lots of other things. Not to mention everything else we do.. birthing babies, making dinner, cleaning up after everyone else in the family..  wiping up various bodily functions expelled by kids and pets, shopping for everyone in the family, putting together Hallowe’en costumes, breaking up fights, driving people around.

Women already have to be chauffeurs, cooks, cleaners, doctors, police, negotiators, public relations officials, wardens, financial advisors, comedians, actors, and mechanics.. just to shortlist it. AND we like to look good doing it, so we must also be beauticians.

Hence, why my bad hair has prevented me from my destiny of being either supreme leader.. or perhaps a game show host.  Instead of recruiting minions,  I was busy getting pretty.

I gotta go. I think I left the straightener on…

Life: Labour Day weekend.. fun for all!
Love: No comment.
Pants: Still working on it. No weight loss as for all the working out I do, I reward myself with licorice and wine. *sigh*