Tag Archives: Twitter

It’s my birthday too! YEAH!

They say it’s your birthday
It’s my birthday too, yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time

Princess Birthday Party a few years ago. Yeah. I rock the tiara..

I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you

Birthday – The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

Holy crap.. what a difference a year makes!

Last year… Still stuck in Barrie, trying to sell my house.. SNOWED on my birthday.. overall not one of the BEST birthdays ever (Read about it here … strictly for comparison’s sake..)

And as much as I was attempting to see the good in everything.. people who love me, yadda yadda.. silver linings.. blah blah blah.. (I jest..) It was still slightly depressing… not gonna lie.

Katy and I hung out and it was nice.. but.. at the time… no gig.. and not much else was going on either.
So.. skip ahead a year.

Today, I spent my birthday moving.. not entirely.. but some.  I moved all my things out of BFF Jodi’s house in St. Catharine’s and to my NEW PLACE in Kitchener! (Conveniently located pretty much across the street from the ex husband/kid’s house.. it’s cool.. we’re friends..) I haven’t quite moved in yet.. not till I get back from my trip.. to freakin’ California!!!

SO. I’m sure you now require explanation.

NEW PLACE!!!

In January, my sister Barb asked if I’d be interested and able to go with her to California in April.. .and it was a sweet deal.. so I said yes. In the meantime.. I’ve been doing some contract work for a company in Kitchener which has led to me spending more time there.. (and finding excuses to hang out… not gonna lie… I love the town. Oh, and my kids. Most days anyway…)

Then.. a few weeks ago.. just was checking out online some places in town.. and found a place right near my ex and the kids.. it all just FIT.

THEN.. the company I was doing work for.. asked me to come on full time!
It’s INSANE, really…

To summarize:

Today is my birthday. I moved my things from St. Catharine’s to Kitchener to my new place until I get back.

Tomorrow.. Barb and I are off to San Francisco where we will visit our aunts, uncles and cousins.. drink wine.. ride electric bikes (Yes, there are SO cool, Lara!)  take a boat tour and do many other exciting adventuresome things..

We fly back late on the 16th… and early the 17th I’ll head back to the K-dub.. because…. All my stuff that has been in storage for months will be delivered and FINALLY I will have my own place again.  Sleeping in my own bed every night is something I totally look forward to.

Then.. Monday, April 19th.. my first official day. I am the Social Media Manager for Waters Denison Internet Group.  I map out social media strategy for various clients based on where relevant conversations are happening on the internet.. then I implement said strategy.

Which means.. I Twitter and Facebook for a living. Seriously. (Okay, that’s simplifying it, but still.. WHO better suited to this gig? Really? Yeah that’s right, me… chick who updates her FB status from her physical/church/jail or wherever I happen to be… (but never the washroom. That’s just gross)

Therefore, on this birthday.. Yeah, I’m now forty fuckin’ six.. but it’s awesome. New digs back in the Kdub.. new gig… which I LOVE.. back with friends, kids, family.. AND I’m going to California to celebrate!!

However.. still no love life. Hence, still something to complain about.. 😉

Oh, and since I didn’t have a real chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends…. we’ll do that at the Housewarming party April 24th…

Life: Loving it!
Love: I am loving life… No boys. But… maybe that’s next on my karmic list? Who knows??!
Pants: Okay.. there’s been some slacking.. so maybe Barb and I should take real bikes instead of electric.. LOL

p.s. stay tuned for updates from California..




Birds of A Feather..

Those who know me, know I’m a big fan of the social media.  I enjoyed the MySpace, then moved on to the Facebook.. I also enjoy MSN on a very regular basis.. and in the last year or so became a “Twitterer”.  Yes, I tweet. Often. Sometimes with disregard to others. That is usually when I’ve had a couple bevvies, mind you… but I digress..

I rarely use fuckin’ profanity on the Twitter. Why? Well.. some business type folks (and some clergy, go figure..) follow me and I don’t want to be horribly offensive.. after all, that’s what the blog is for.. regardless…

For those of you who don’t “tweet” I felt compelled to share some of my ramblings.. just some highlights.. (yes yes this is another way of saying that I’ve been lazy…….. so sue me.)


I refer to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day”    2:04 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck

@steffer1 perhaps we should organize a tweetup for all our single friends…. LOL Everyone wears black.    2:16 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck  in reply to steffer1

Another day, another Facebook friend request from someone I don’t know… *delete*    10:27 AM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Annoyed. Had a parking ticket for parking where I was told to park. Yeah, we’ll be fighting this.    12:41 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Sooooo… just why would anyone WANT their own Nick Lachey? #daytimetvsucks    1:56 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

@meggroff and here I thought you were just going to continue with “pantless day” and “do resumes drunk day”    9:58 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff my fave part of your resume is where you listed “kickin’ it old skool” & “pounding back a 40 w/ my homies” under “special skillz”    10:22 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff Perhaps if you offered to share. Just sayin’. Or maybe if you took “stickin’ it to the man” out from under “hobbies”    10:55 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

Frosted flakes are pretty delicious.    12:34 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

Dear @billgates my MSN is not working. Please fix it. Thankssomuch. Love, Beth    7:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

hint: if you have the “let people know what I’m listening to” thing on your msn.. make sure that it doesn’t show Demi Lovato if you are 40    9:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

i wish I had crackers    9:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I was wondering if I’d ever marry again. I will marry again if it’s legal to marry food product in ON. I LOVE YOU MELTED CHEESE!    10:04 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

do you ever wanna just slide your fingers one space over so that people think you are typing in another language?    10:06 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

GWT AI GIQ;A UA FIUBF U RGUBJF TIY EIXJ    10:07 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

@SarahRobinson it was delicious. I love food. Can I legally marry food? or Ikea?    10:11 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@SarahRobinson I can hardly wait to be Mrs Grilled Cheese. now the break up btwn me and the Hamburglar makes sense…..    10:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@JamesAWoods @SarahRobinson I’ve been to Texas. Love it. they have beef and large things. I’m in ..   10:20 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to JamesAWoods

I’m going to bed. Mocha the wonderdog is going with me. so she will not be answering any DMs    10:44 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I’m really hoping @badwebsites is working out right now.. need him to be all buff for the reunion. Oh. It’s in May.. not June.    1:38 AM Feb 6th   via TweetDeck

Booooo. Worst part about the SuperBowl is that we don’t get to see the cool commercials. #OhCanada    8:12 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

I would be really interested to see if hits dropped significantly on Porn sites during the SuperBowl. #justsayin    9:46 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

@tw_i_tt_e_r Unfortunately, I’ve made a habit of dating men with bad hair. Last guy looked like a homeless dude….    7:18 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck  in reply to tw_i_tt_e_r

“Mom, I know your heart is black and cold, but quit making fun of people just trying to find love”.. DD to me Re: the Bachelor …    8:54 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Hey! Baby mamas on Maury!! Here’s a thought… birth control! THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO CHASE THESE GUYS DOWN… #justsayin    9:04 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Maury should give out giants gift baskets of condoms to the guys on his show….    9:09 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck


Guten morgan. (Feeling kinda German being in the K-dub and all….)    7:57 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I love it when you get an unexpected call from someone you love and haven’t talked to ages… #sofartodayisexcellent    9:17 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

Today: ass kicking, soup making, build-a-bear, work, coffee drinking, more ass kicking, chat with the HS Vice Principal…. I need a drink.    5:52 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… you can put Montreal Steak Spice on ANYTHING and it makes it good…    6:46 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve decided to become a crazy cat lady… I got the crazy part down..     4:25 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

Got myself a free steak dinner. It was not hot, but free.    8:18 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

I apparently have coined a new phrase “I will fist bump you in the face”.. all the kids are saying it…    1:29 PM Feb 12th   via TweetDeck

Although I appreciate short forms, if you msn or text me and use ALL of them, I think you are illiterate. #justsayin    11:30 PM Feb 13th   via TweetDeck

Unlike the rest of you, I am celebrating “Singles Awareness Day”….    10:44 AM Feb 14th   via TweetDeck

@badwebsites LOL .. no flowers, the only chocolate I got was “free with purchase” at Victoria’s Secret.. however, I did get some VD beer…    7:21 PM Feb 15th   via TweetDeck  in reply to badwebsites

Does it count if you give up abstinence for Lent?    4:51 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

DD making a pic of me on the computer. Son says “you look like a 5 star hooker”. Apparently it was a compliment….    7:08 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

Yes, I know. “Way to cut and paste!” Well, if you want the live action .. follow me on Twitter. @beth_warren.  I’m reasonably amusing.

Life: All good
Love: Move along. Nothing to see here (YES, there will be a dating update soon. Promise)
Pants: I really want to make a reference to “pants on the ground” but that’s Sooooooo over

40 Minutes I’ll Never Get Back (or why Zamfir should burn in hell…)

I had to call tech support today.. My website (www.evilgeniusmarketing.ca) would not let me upload pics. And I really really wanted that Wizard of Oz pic on there..

My webhosting service is in Vancouver.  Why you ask? Because I am a moron apparently.  A friend suggested them and I went ahead and signed up without realizing they were across the country.  Which means, if I have issues at 9am, it’s 6am there and I have to wait till noon to call the stupid ass toll free line.

zamfir2

I'm sure he's a lovely man, but I still want to snap his flute in half...

So yesterday I posted.. and the picture would NOT load. And I couldn’t reach them. So I emailed. Nothing.

Today.. still not working.. so I called again. Got the recorded .. “press 3 for tech support”.. and was immediately placed in hold music hell.

It was pan flute music. Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute. Playing “My Heart Will Go On”.

Kill me. Now.

I mean, sure, there’s obviously a market for pan flute music.. for dentists’ offices, massage therapists, elevator music and the like.  And apparently, for hold music. REAL HUMANS don’t actually listen to this stuff, like, in their car or anything. I mean, that’s just UNSAFE… the soothing  tones of the pan flute lull you into an altered state and you crash.. see? Not good.

I think the thought is that it’s “calming”.  Yeah. It’s NOT. It’s irritating as fuck.  Seriously. First of all,  I’m a rocker. I’m listening to AC/DC as I write this. There’s no freakin” pan flute in rock music. You can add every other musical instrument ever. Bag pipes. Triangle. Flute. Pan flute is played by that crazy ass satyr Tewt in the “Mighty Hercules” cartoon. HE ONLY SPOKE THROUGH THE PAN FLUTE.  That is messed. But what do you expect… his name’s Tewt.

 

mightyherculestewt4But I digress.

The first.. say.. two minutes.. were okay. I did not feel the need to kill anyone. However.. approaching minute four I was looking for the knife block. To slit my own wrists.

To avoid insanity I started looking for things to do..changed my Facebook status.. and then “liked” everyone’s posts. I was bored. It was a bad move.

I have 763  new emails informing me of everyone who also “liked” or commented on everyone else’s status.

And I wasn’t even drunk.  Although I did look at the clock and think it was 5 o’clock and cracked open a beer. Then realized the clocks hadn’t been turned back.  But that’s beside the point..

So what to do while waiting to be helped? Update my Tweets of course (not to be confused with Tewt..)

I am in tech support muzak hell.

The muzak on hold is lulling me into unconsciousness. I hate you tech support. You are frying my brain via panflute.

I just went on facebook and “liked” EVERYONE’S status. That, my friends, was a mistake. *email box filling with notifications*

.@katbron yes, it is frying my brain….. Damn you Zamfir Master of the Pan flute.

Good news everybody! I’ve received word that hot asian women are dying to meet me! Awesome! (this has nothing to do with tech support.. I just got this good news while I was “liking” everyone on Facebook…)

@meggroff no no.. yours I really really liked. A lot. Best one today. <–Meg accused me of not REALLY liking her status.

I am singing along to the pan flute version of “My Heart Will Go On”.. and  praying for the sweet release of death.

I can actually feel myself slipping into a coma…

Off tech support call.. waited 40 minutes for someone to tell me they’ll call back. Pan flute tune still searing my neurons. arrrrrrgh

@jeffsoltysiak I was on hold for 40 mins. I have pan flute inflicted brain damage.

Yay! Tech support fixed my problem! I forgive you for the pan flute. But not you, Zamfir. Not you.

Eventually I received an email from tech support telling me they reset a whatchamajiggy and the problem should be fixed.. and it was.. and I uploaded my pic.

However, I was still left with the theme to Titanic searing through my grey matter.  You can witness the terror yourself by clicking here.

My heart will go on… but my brain needs some more AC/DC therapy…

Life: Awesome!
Love: I do not love the pan flute. Just sayin’
Pants: I was wearing pants through the entire ordeal.


How to Get Blocked in 8 Simple Steps!

Once again, I must preface the post with the warning.. “If you are my Mother, do NOT read this. No, really Mom.. there are just some things you don’t want to know, being the good Catholic woman that you are. So, seriously, go make a Sanka and watch some Coronation Street and forget that you ever even came across this blog post, okay? Because you really shouldn’t read it. K? K. Love you!”

No, seriously Mother. STOP NOW.dude

Well,  now that I have that out of the way….

Over the weekend I received a “friend request” on Facebook.  Not unusual, per se. I receive usually a few a week.. many people that I know through the music business or friends of friends.. some that I’ve met through Twitter.. that sort of thing.

So when I receive a request from someone I don’t immediately recognize, I merely investigate their profile.. see who or what we have in common and determine whether or not I really want to befriend this person. 

Mind you,  I have various levels of “friendship”.. if you’re reading this now, that likely means you can read my links,etc., and therefore you likely have full access. I have multiple levels of access.. some can’t see my wall posts.. some can’t see any pictures.. things like that. Just depends.  And sometimes statuses change dependant upon our interaction.

That being said, I didn’t look too closely at Buddy’s profile.. he looked kind of familiar although I didn’t recognize the name , but I still added him.

Almost immediately the IM chatty thing opened up and Buddy started yacking.   Mostly inane chatter.. the usual crap. I asked if his FB name was his “real” name.. it was not, and he told me his proper handle.  And then whilst we chatted it hit me.. this was a guy I had met online through a dating site.. we met once about 4 years ago.  Emphasis on the ONCE.

We met for a drink… it didn’t go extremely well.. I had absolutely no interest and ceased contact. And quit with the online dating.

Once I made the connection I tried to gracefully get out of the conversation without looking like a complete and utter bitch.  I’m not a fan of hurting anyone’s feelings, regardless of how jerky I might think they are.. so I merely chose to hit the “ignore” button for a bit.. and then said I had to go. 

And then the messages started.  There were several. And based on Buddy’s profile and his messages,  I have created a list of actions you can perform in order to be immediately blocked on Facebook, Twitter or any other Social Media site or application.

How to Get Me to Block You in 8 Simple Steps

1. Please let me know that you have creeped all of my Facebook photos and have enjoyed them in an intimate way. Especially if I really don’t know you very well. Really, it’s charming and endearing. Not creepy or disturbing at all.

2. Use an alias. Nothing says forthcoming and upstanding like not using your own name. Again, not at all unsettling or suspicious.

3. Include in your profile a lot of shots of just your torso.  No head, just neck to very, very close to south of the border. HAWT. Chicks dig it.

4. Only have girls on your friends list. This does indeed show me that you are a ladies man. And that you apparently were beat up by all the other guys in school and therefore have no real friends. It’s just a theory.

5. Ensure that you have all the “cool” applications like “Babe of the Day” and “Hot or Not” installed on your Facebook page. This is really impressive and again is an indicator of your extreme hawt-ness and likeability.  Also take all the cool quizzes.. start with “What Kind of Lover Are You” and work your way up.

6.  When contacting me by chat or messaging, please indicate that you had a very hard time getting to sleep after we chatted because you were thinking of me in special and intimate ways.  This is of course even though we don’t know each other and I have given you absolutely no indication that I find you attractive in the least. 

7. Please refrain from discussing anything remotely interesting.  Keep all topics of conversation confined to what I look like, my various physical attributes and what affect they may have on the fit of your pants.

8. Go try this on some other chick, because frankly, I’ve already unfriended you.. you will never read this… and I have no interest in chatting with you again.  Seriously, dude. I have no idea if this actually ever works for you or not, but I’m thinking not.  Either that or you end up dating a lot of girls whose IQ’s range in the double digits. 

Addendum. #9. (courtesy of the lovely and talented Lea Cater  — @leannecater)  I would add step #9 “when I tell you I’m seeing someone & there4 can’t date you, call me a LIAR! And demand details as proof 😉

Suffice to say, Buddy and I are no longer “friends”.  (Insert ironic sad face icon here)

And people wonder why I’m still single.

Life: All in all going all right.
Love: BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Pants: doing up the belt a little tighter these days… good news..

My Mother Would Be Proud

Remember when you were a kid and just starting school … and each day you’d come home and tell your mom about your day.. all the colouring and playing and cut n’ paste you did.. and your mom would ask “but did you make any new friends?” 

Because aside from your “work”, Mom realized that the important thing was friendships, other people and social interaction.  That if you had friends to share all your work with and your day with, and your life with… everything else seemed much more easy and fun and pleasurable.

During my time in Central Ontario, I haven’t made a ton of friends here.  Mostly because for months now I’ve known that I was eventually leaving Barrie and heading back to Southern Ontario.  I’ve kept busy on my own… but in the last couple of months I’ve made more friends in Barrie than I did for the most of the 16 months I’ve been here.. and most have been through social media. 

I have been a Facebook afficianado for years (see my post about Facebook) but just became a Twitter fan in the last 4 months.  And of course, became somewhat addicted to it.  I quite enjoy it.. I like trying to think of witty things to say that reflect what I’m actually doing.  Yes, at times I embellish slightly to make it slightly more amusing, but for the most part, it’s at least based in reality.  I’ve enjoyed “meeting” other people via Twitter and being exposed to new people via the interweb.

I’ve made a few friends that live far away.. @IKnowKyleFord and @jmoneyallday are a couple of good examples. They both live in California and maybe we’ll never meet.. but in the meantime we have very fun conversations about the strangest things and it’s highly amusing. (Please note that these are young men far outside my dating stratosphere but in no way shape or form does that make me a cougar. If I am to be an animal, it’s a wolf,  a la Harvey Keitel’s character in Pulp Fiction. Look it up. I take care of stuff. Nuff said.)

Regardless. I had the pleasure to make some “Barrie” friends through Twitter.  At one point, a “Tweet Up” was organized but I couldn’t go.. then another was organized and I made plans to attend. Thursday, June 4th. I would actually meet people I talked to online.

We were to meet at the Mansion .. on the patio. Long story short (that is usually indicative .. for me.. of a story getting longer) the Mansion patio was not open. So apparently several “tweeps” showed up.. it was closed.. they went home.  However, the one gentleman who arranged the whole she-bang (please note that I suggested the location.. not his fault it did not work..) and I had exchanged cell numbers so once we figured out it was a bust, he called me.  The conversation basically went like this … “still thirsty?” said Jon. I said “ALWAYS”.   So we met for a drink.

@Jon_Aston and I have only talked through Twitter. Oh,  and we became Facebook friends. So we had some form of interaction. Which warranted a hug when we finally met.

We met at Fitzy’s.. and got some drinks. And exchanged histories.  The big “tweet up” became me and Jon sharing a couple of drinks. And a lot of great conversation (which means mostly me talking.. LOL) and just.. fun.

Good times. Good laughs.  And social interaction.Jon and I thought of an evil plan (I’m not an evil genius for nothing) to work Twitter to get others to come meet us for drinks next time… mostly posts about us going to strip clubs (my posts) and some other stuff I shouldn’t post (also mine…mostly about shooters and bad dancing and frolicking in fountains..).  Jon’s were about friendship and camraderie and the like. I am being kind. His wife might read this.

Regardless. Great chat. Great fun. And Mom… I think I made a new friend.

Life: All good
Love: I love making new friends
Pants: not that kind of post! for shame!

Thanks is the Biggest Word in my Vocabulary.

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. – Eric Hoffer

I’m generally a pretty positive person, however I do have my moments of utter despair.. as most do. Last week I had a bit of a meltdown and a friend was there for me. Not to be my shoulder to cry on, because quite frankly, I’ve done enough crying over the last many months… but to be the person who (despite how much I hated it at the time) told me to quit being a baby, put on my big girl panties and look for solutions instead of excuses. I am summarizing of course, but that’s about the gist of it.

I, of course am not good at being told what to do and had to go sulk about it a bit before admitting that he was right and that I wasn’t getting anywhere sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Most of the time I’m a pretty upbeat, positive person. I’m usually the one that others come to for encouragement, hugs, the “there, there it will be okay” speech. However, it has been tough with everything that’s gone on in the last few months. Tough to maintain any sort of positive thinking despite my repeated readings of Tony Robbins’ literature and “I think I can, I think I can” mantras. But, I’m trying. Most days.

My children and I don’t live together at the moment and that’s tough. I saw them yesterday and once again marvelled at the miracles that are my children. They are kind, funny, thoughtful, good looking (if I do say so myself) individuals. I haven’t been the most conventional mother in the world, so when I see how seemingly well-adjusted my children are, it makes me feel pretty good about my parenting skills.

I reconnected with my best friend from college.. Avril.. last week. It’s crazy how we practically picked up where we left off. I’m not sure either of us are where we thought we’d be 20+ years ago.. but it’s pretty terrific to have someone with whom you immediately have that easiness of friendship. And she is just one of many wonderful people in my life.. she’s just the most recent re-addition.

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

So despite all the negatives in my life, there are a lot of positives. Some interesting opportunities on the horizon… the love of my children and family and friends. Things are not super freakin’ fantastic at the moment, but they will be again. And I try to maintain these thoughts, but it’s tough. It’s very easy to get down on yourself and only focus on the negative.

But, every once in a while, something happens that puts things into perspective. This morning on Twitter, a few people re-tweeted about a woman who discovered last week that her son has leukemia. They found out the same week as his second birthday. You can read her story here.

I don’t know this family. I don’t even know the woman’s name (I couldn’t find it on the blog..) but my heart goes out to her and her family.. particularly her little boy. He faces 3 years of chemotherapy. His prognosis is good, apparently…. but still.

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart

I’ve often been heard to utter “Things could always be worse”. And they could. My children are healthy. I have great friends and family who love me despite all my irritating habits, constant mocking, sporadic drama and frequent ineptitude. I still need a job, but hey.. I’m not living in my car .. well, not just yet, anyway.

So today I am thankful. For many things. But mostly for all the little blessings. And all the good people that keep me (relatively) sane.

Life: I think it’s getting better.
Love: I love you all!
Pants: Still in pajama pants. Next question?