Tag Archives: laughter

All ya gotta do to start trouble is post something by the Cars..

As we all know, I’ve been a slacker with the posting of said bloggage.. I’ve started many, just haven’t finished.. really, I’m working on it…

I have no excuse… I’m online constantly.. so you think I’d get to writing.. but…. I think perhaps I may be spending too much time on Facebook, perhaps..

I have this friend.. I shall call him Glenn (as that is his name…)  and he and I like to banter.. so I thought I’d share one of our offtrack Facebook rants (that likely have people removing us from their feeds.. LOL)

Beth Warren

The Cars – Just What I Needed (1978) Writer: Ric Ocasek Producer: Roy Thomas Baker Bass and Lead vocal: Benjamin Orr Guitar: Elliot Easton Drums: David Robinson
July 29 at 10:03am Custom: loading… · · · Share

Glenn Pelletier And the kids wonder why Mariana’s Trench and Down With Webster doesn’t do it for me.

July 29 at 11:39am · ·

Beth Warren Yeah, word on the street is that this is really keeping the kids up at night..

July 29 at 11:48am · ·

Glenn Pelletier Oh….do I allow me then….to be more specific. “the kids”…….as in MY kids. get it? the only thing keeping the kids you refer to….up at night….is msn and trying to find the latest info. on the party at Brittany’s house when her parents were out-of-town.

July 29 at 11:56am · ·

Glenn Pelletier Tell you what…..if there any of “the kids” checking in with this conversation between a 49-year-old man and his 46-year-old friend, I invite you to view the Cars’ video above…..and then try to wonder why Mariana’s Trench and Down With Webster don’t do it for me.

July 29 at 11:58am · ·

Beth Warren I shall post your request on all my 15 yo FB friends’ pages.. LOL

Hey, there’s no doubt in my mind why they don’t “do it for you”….

July 29 at 12:02pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Okay…..gotta go. Off to a class titled “Demonstrating Humility While Posting On Facebook.”

July 29 at 12:04pm · ·

Beth Warren Are you teaching or attending?

July 29 at 12:07pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Attending.

July 29 at 12:54pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier That was my point, doe head.

July 29 at 12:54pm · ·

Beth Warren You and the name calling, CF…..
You are missing my obviously sarcastic tone…. jeezus

July 29 at 12:56pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier ‎”You can call me anything……just don’t call me Doe Head!”

July 29 at 1:01pm · ·

Beth Warren Doe head suggests something from the deer family.. whereas DOUGH head would imply that my head had a delicious squishy centre..
Neither of which I find particularly insulting or offensive. Or dirty. Try harder. LOL

July 29 at 1:26pm · ·

John Matthews OK – for the record. I have always loved the Cars! And as for you two – Glenn … love you on 570 but how does Beth have so many more fb friends than you? Beth – are you hitting on Glenn? Sounds more like a 15 yr old and an 11 yr old going at it! Carry on.

July 29 at 1:57pm · ·

Beth Warren A 15 yo and an 11 yo “going at it” would be most inappropriate. Age of consent in this province is 14.

July 29 at 2:03pm · ·

John Matthews Good point.

July 29 at 2:11pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Hey John…Beth has so many more fb friends than me, because I have a rule. The moment you say something like “I like eggs” on your newsfeed……yer fucking gone! Plus I tend to blow out the “friends” I don’t actually know, or have never spoken with.

July 29 at 2:14pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Actually, I keep vowing to do it….but between you and me, John, I don’t have the balls. And damn it, I don’t mind telling you…..I like eggs.

July 29 at 2:23pm · ·

Beth Warren I have a lot of FB friends because I’ve been doing this a helluva lot longer than Pelch has… for one. That, and I bribe them with candy.

Egss are delicious, it’s true.

July 29 at 4:01pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Oh, Beth, you missed my point. You know damn well I am well-versed in the necessary social networking skills. I have just chosen not to go all Ashton Kutcher on this thing. I mean really….what’s the point? (see: I like eggs.)

July 29 at 4:47pm · ·

Beth Warren Quite the contrary, I grasped your point immediately.. was merely kidding around. And I still like eggs.

July 29 at 4:57pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Oh really? Sounded to me like you were actually trying to say that if I had been on Facebook as long as you, I would have as many fb “friends.” You think the size of my “friends” list is based on my duration on Facebook? So really, I think you DID miss the point that my having fewer friends was about me deliberately choosing to start picking off the people I don’t actually know (especially if they post ‘I like eggs” on their newsfeed.

July 29 at 5:05pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Now buy me a Virgin. Caesar.

July 29 at 5:07pm · ·

Beth Warren Perhaps I just filter my friends differently, but I don’t believe any of my friends have ever posted of their love of any type of dairy product. Now, liquor on the other hand…

July 29 at 5:07pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier I sometimes like to sign off posts with the name ‘Caesar’.

July 29 at 5:07pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Eggs are not dairy…but I will say no more. I have beaten you up already.

July 29 at 5:09pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Fuck it I can’t help myself. Where the fuck are the 2 per cent eggs? There’s only homo here!

July 29 at 5:11pm · ·

Beth Warren Ok, I’ll give you the “eggs are not dairy”…. apparently the food pyramid people moved them into the meat/protein section in 2005. I missed the memo.

Beaten up? LOL. Bring it, Pelch.

July 29 at 5:13pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier I need to get out. I have turned into a divorced man with no money, sitting in his shitty apartment, spending hours ranting on Facebook. Actually, forget it…..I just realized, I was thinking of someone else.

July 29 at 5:13pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier No, Darwin included them in the protein section in the mid-nineteenth century.

July 29 at 5:15pm · ·

Beth Warren Well, at least Facebook is keeping you off the streets and out of the seedy bars…..

July 29 at 5:15pm · ·

Beth Warren Fuck. you do need to get out. Sitting around arguing online about Canada’s food guide. Quick! In which food group is quinoa??!

July 29 at 5:17pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier ah………………………definitely not desert!

July 29 at 5:17pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier I mean dessert.

July 29 at 5:18pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Hell, maybe desert too, depending on whether it actually needs water to survive.

July 29 at 5:18pm · ·

Beth Warren How on earth did this go from appreciation of the Cars music to dessert?

July 29 at 5:19pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Ignore post above. The Sahara is not a food group.

July 29 at 5:19pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Beth, I have a feeling that bantering wtih you, will delay any possible dementia in me. I want to thank you for that.

July 29 at 5:20pm · ·

Beth Warren You nearly had me fooled. Had to check the food guide. Nope. Wasn’t there. Although I have sampled some cooking that wasn’t as tasty as sand…

July 29 at 5:20pm · ·

Beth Warren I believe you mean “further dementia”.

July 29 at 5:21pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier So about the fucking quinoa!

July 29 at 5:21pm · ·

Beth Warren And you are welcome.

July 29 at 5:21pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier LOL

July 29 at 5:22pm · ·

Beth Warren Quinoa is delicious. Although most think it’s a grain, it’s not truly.. and it’s very high in protein. It’s also a town in Peru and an album by Tangerine Dream.

July 29 at 5:23pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier I am spent…..it was good for me. Was it good for you? How about a smoke?

July 29 at 5:27pm · · 1 personLoading… ·

Beth Warren Glenn, you realize of course, that anyone who “LIKED” this link originally is now cursing as they are being inundated with notifications of our food groups discussion. However, they likely learned something.. so it’s not a total loss.

July 29 at 5:28pm · ·

Beth Warren LOL. Now I’ll have to think of some other wacky status update or link to inspire more discussion. Or I’ll go back to my tequila thread.

July 29 at 5:29pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier If they have actually followed this entire stream, they are witnessing a classic example of how a chick with brains can wake a guy up. Thanks for that.

July 29 at 5:32pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier So, Virgin Caesar and a smoke?

July 29 at 5:33pm · ·

Beth Warren More than welcome.

July 29 at 5:33pm · ·

Beth Warren I’m more inclined to order a pint and a shot of tequila. Caesars are breakfast food. LOL

July 29 at 5:34pm · ·

Beth Warren Or should there have been a comma after Virgin?

July 29 at 5:34pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier And while I am awake, you have kept my from posting on my newsfeed that “Glenn likes cutting his fingernails regularly.”

July 29 at 5:35pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier I want to stay in downtown Kitchener, so, no there is no comma after Virgin.

July 29 at 5:36pm · ·

Beth Warren whoa! you’re KIDDING me, right??!!!! wow.

July 29 at 5:37pm · ·

Beth Warren LMAO!

July 29 at 5:38pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier you mean about the comma-less Virgin or cutting my fingernails regularly?

July 29 at 5:38pm · ·

Beth Warren laughing re: comma-less virgin.. amazed at your nail cutting. You have some pretty exotic hobbies. CALM. DOWN.

July 29 at 5:39pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Also trying to find a non-smoking bingo player. I hear there is ONE in Belleville, but that was only because of doctor’s orders.

July 29 at 5:42pm · ·

Beth Warren what are you going to do with him or her when you find them? keep it as a pet?

July 29 at 5:43pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier No. Find out if being the only non-smoking bingo player in Belleville made him/her feel shunned, ashamed, diminished in any way.

July 29 at 5:46pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier I am also trying to find the only BINGO player in Rosedale – smoking, non-smoking, ashamed, shunned, or otherwise.

July 29 at 5:47pm · ·

Beth Warren I’m going to have to say the thing for bingo players is among the most unusual fetishes I’ve heard.

July 29 at 5:51pm · ·

John Matthews

OMG – that’s a cool 15yo thing right? I’m 46 just so ya know – and I know you don’t give a rat’s ass.

So I was going to interrupt – give thoughts on eggs and virgins – but nah. Then I considered a exercise in missing the point – but that w…ould have been wasted energy. Loads of other topics to comment on – but why interrupt perfectly good finger nail cutting I ask you? So I started reading the thread to my wife – and I got to the bingo fetish (not suspiciously 34 comments after the “divorced man, shitty apartment” comment) and she says, “Tell them to get a room.” Ha!

Glenn – I bet you hate Christmas now right? Beth – Who needs questions when there are so many answers? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QuinoaSee More

July 29 at 8:21pm · ·

John Matthews And as the most classic Car(ol) song says:

I’m so glad we had this time together,Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.Seems we just get started and before you Know itComes the time we have to say, “So long”.

July 29 at 8:22pm · ·

Beth Warren

Not to speak for my friend Glenn, but he has two beautiful girls so I’m sure Christmas is still full of joy and wonderment.. but again, not my place to say. Just thought I’d interject since a-it’s my thread and b- I think Pelch is off havi…ng a manicure so may not be able to respond in a timely manner.

re: rat’s ass.. I’m 46 as well.. all good. and I have a 15 yo.. LOL
re: room…. oh my. I have a room thanks.. LOL.. it’s quite pretty..

I still like eggs in all varied forms except fertilized. I’m not a virgin. and I enjoy quinoa.See More

July 29 at 8:33pm · ·

Beth Warren hahaha john.. either you are enjoying the entertainment or totally regretting adding me as a friend at this point.. LOL

July 29 at 8:34pm · ·

John Matthews This is now the most entertaining page on FB … well this and NPR! (JK) PS I was going to send Glenn a Christmas CD – no joke!

July 29 at 8:35pm · ·

Beth Warren Send him the Nickelback Christmas CD.. he’ll be your friend forever.

July 29 at 8:36pm · ·

John Matthews OUCH – before they tamed his extra-curricular banter over at 570 he would always talk about his love for good Christmas music – but I don’t recall him saying anything about Nickleback.

July 29 at 8:51pm · ·

Beth Warren LMAO! Nickelback is a long running joke between us.. I’m a troublemaker..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDgs1iroYyY

July 29 at 8:52pm · ·

Glenn Pelletier Hey John, the following tells you everything you need to know about my thoughts regarding Nickelback. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDgs1iroYyY

July 29 at 9:50pm · ·

Beth Warren haha I already sent him the link!

July 29 at 9:50pm · ·

John Matthews Ok – that was funny.

Life: All good
Love: Nothing to see here
Pants:  I’ve been very lazy and am quite lucky I do not weigh 300+ pounds.  Need to get back at it..

this is why, this is why.. i suck

Well.

It’s been a while.  I know. ugh. Nearly over three months.

oy vey.

Here’s the thing….

I started a bunch of posts and didn’t finish them because …… well…. some excuse.

A lot has been going on.  Like, LOTS.

Tons. Oodles. Many adventures.

So, you would think I would be writing all this stuff down, now, wouldn’t ya?  Well, apparently not.

One thing I did not do over the last 3 months is watch or read anything Twilight. I know nothing about it other than it's about vampires and girly stuff or something.

But let me brief you on what’s been going down.. then .. I will go back, finish the posts I started, and then all will be right with the world. Good times all around, my friends. Oh yes, we’ll get jiggy with it.

Things that have happened and that I will expound upon.. in no particular order…

  • I had a birthday. On that birthday I moved my stuff out of BFF Jodi’s house and into a garage in KW.
  • I went to California. It was cool. No, literally. It was April. It was about the same temperature in KW as in Cali.   Also, I saw a lot of relatives in Cali and a portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger made of Skittles. It did not change my life in any way and I had actually completely forgotten about it until this moment.
  • My car got crashed.  Not good.
  • Got back from California. Moved the next morning into my new place in the K-dub.  Unpacked et al within days.
  • Started a new super cool gig.
  • Had a party.
  • Got a new car.
  • went to my high school reunion.
  • Proved bench advertising works.
  • Didn’t write blogs. (you already knew that)
  • Discovered a cure for the common cold. Got drunk to celebrate. Accidentally threw out the answer. Back to the drawing board.
  • Then, of course,  some random stuff that I will think of as I start spewing stuff onto the computer screen  ( I know, not the best visual there.. see? out of practice….)

So, my apologies to those of you that have actually checked to see if I’ve written some stuff.. yes, you.. Stacey Thompson-Delorme.. Michelle Walker and of COURSE, Tracy Lennon…  I shall attempt to be more consistent…. as in, the consistency of rice pudding… oh, but I digress.

So yeah, I’ve been sucking.  But I’m making an attempt to make amends.  Please forgive me. (insert tearful weepy face here… preferably of a really cute sad child… that’d make ya well up…)

K. If I’m going to get caught up, I better get moving. Await the avalanche.

Life: Good. Very good.
Love: Love the new place. (see how I got out of answering that directly? Ohhhh I’m sneaky..)
Pants: I’m wearing some. That’s all you need to know for now.

Are we proud to be Canadian.. or to drink it??

For the past couple of weeks, Olympic fever has gripped the world. And no country has been more in love with this Olympics than Canada.

After all, Vancouver hosted the event this year, so it stands to reason that Canadians would be full of pride.. and liquor.

This is my lucky friend Stephen who actually WENT to the Olympics. The outfits rivalled those at the bar..

I had the opportunity to catch some of the events.. not all.. missed the opening ceremonies, among other things.  However, I was able to catch the piece de resistance of the games.. the Gold Medal Hockey Final.  I was not fortunate enough to attend (Unlike my friend Stephen Ross… see photo) So the next best place to watch such an event.. Bobby O’Brien’s Irish Pub (@bobbyobriens on Twitter).

My partner in crime for this event was my lovely friend Meg (@meggroff).  We arranged to meet at Bobby’s just after the first period… found ourselves a table and sat back to enjoy the show.  Oh, and the hockey.

Apparently being a proud Canadian and supporter of the men’s Olympic hockey team involves beer.  Lots of beer. Oh, and that was just us.  I almost felt ashamed drinking my imported Stella… but I digress.

There were many in full “proud Canadian” gear.. and Meg and I chose to give them various names.  Our favourite was Captain Jesus Canada.. a shortish young gentleman who bore a strong resemblance to Christ and was outfitted in Canada jersey and the requisite Canada flag cape.  Captain Jesus would not walk around the bar, but rather run.. simulating the effect of flying.. his long locks and cape billowing in the ensuing breeze….

Another fave I named “Chantman”… again, a Canada jersey, hat et al… he stood at the bar and would attempt to entice the crowd to chant “WE BELIEVE! WE BELIEVE!”.. Which was a resounding failure for the most part.. until the shooters started flowing…

I haven’t read the “Hockey Fan Handbook”, but apparently to show your nationalistic pride, it’s appropriate to toast the team with various shots of Jager, Tequila or whatever shooter you prefer.  The prouder you are of Canada, the more shooters you consume.  (Meg and I may be verging on being traitors as we did not have any.)  The shooters provide the following positive effects:  louder cheering and chanting,  higher, harder high fives… louder screams of joy when Canada scored.. the notion that it’s appropriate to shake a beer and let it explode everywhere.. and of course the illusion that the players can actually HEAR you when you shout at the tv.

Many many others in Bobby’s were also in full Canada regalia and creating much people watching pleasure for my partner in crime and I… Indeed, it was THE place to be to watch grown men nearly cry like newborns when the US tied it up.

But, as we all know.. it was worth it.. Canada triumphed.  You have not witnessed true joy until you’ve seen one grown man (Captain Jesus) run across the bar and leap into another man’s arms (Chantman)… I almost wish I had recorded that moment so that I could play it back for you in slow motion with an appropriate swelling soundtrack….

All in all.. a very good time.. Canada won.. Meg and I witnessed much comedy, camaradarie and man love.. and there was beer. Oh, and wings.

Although we didn’t dress like it, we were, and are, proud to be Canadian and proud of our athletes.   And happy we weren’t the ones cleaning up the bar…….

Life: Fun
Love: I love Canada!
Pants: I wore jeans.

I’ve Devolved into a Hairy Chested Shirtless Man. (or why I suck at dating…)

A few posts back, I promised I’d update on the LOVE section. Oy vey.  This is a sad sad tale, my friends.. get out the tissues.

Soooooo…… as anyone who reads my rantings knows, I’m not very successful in the “love” department.  Well, I have HAD successful relationships, don’t get me wrong.. but just haven’t had one for a while.  Many things have influenced this sad state of affairs.. I don’t meet a lot of men my own age, for one.. but, just haven’t met anyone I’m truly interested in…

But I digress.

Recently I had a few incidents that shed much light under the proverbial bushel known as my love life..  As you are likely aware, yes, I attempted the online dating again.  *Sigh*

not the actual guy.

Needless to say, there were some interesting characters responding to my ad. Many of whom could not string together a simple sentence (hint: use verbs).. or were just generally of no interest to me.

I did chat online with a few fellows.. but nothing really progressed beyond that.. I even met a couple..

On one occasion, I had been chatting online with one guy and we realized that we had mutual friends .. and we oft times frequented the same establishments.. and this one particular evening we both showed up for a local blues jam in town.  I was out with my daughter Katy, and her friend Lisa.. and he came over to say hi when he recognized me.

At first he seemed nice enough.. despite the entire wardrobe made of denim and matching scarf… but as the evening progressed and he consumed even more alcohol, he just became.. well… obnoxious.

Aside from telling us how great he was, he felt compelled to tell us about his workout regimen and then proceeded to practically remove his shirt in the bar so that we could properly admire his abs.  This was not a pleasant site, as it appeared that he was wearing a brown sweater. He was not. ‘Nuff said.  I’m sure in different circumstances he’s a very nice man, but seriously, dude.. trying far too hard.

On another occasion, I started conversing with another guy online who was quite intelligent and well spoken, and reasonably entertaining.  However, then he kind of freaked me out.  He Googled me.  He found out my last name, requested my Facebook friendship.. and started reading this blog.  (He and I discussed this, I’m no longer freaked out.. but it seemed slightly creepy at the time. Duh. I forgot that if you hit “view profile” on the MSN that you can then see someone’s last name, etc.. I’m pretty. I don’t have to be smart.)

Regardless, at the time I was a little… well, freaked.  I felt cyber stalked (although a friend of mine recently said that cyber stalking is this century’s version of staring across the bar… well, kinda, but without creeping ALL their photos…).

The whole online thing wasn’t all negative though.. I did meet a very nice guy and we hung out a few times. Until he … disappeared.  I assume he found someone he liked more.. all good, my feelings aren’t hurt. I hope he’s doing well.  And that he’d finish that stupid Scrabble game we started on Facebook. (Oh, maybe that’s it.. I was KILLING him.. )

I also met another nice guy online… one night, we exchanged a couple of emails and then on the spur of the moment decided to meet for a drink.

Now, I am generally a fairly cautious individual in this regard. I like to chat online for a while to determine whether or not there will be some inkling of camaraderie.. some indication of good conversation.. because you just never know when someone may turn out to be a serial killer. After all, THEY LOOK LIKE US.. have we learned NOTHING from Dexter????

This impetuous meeting of course made me somewhat nervous…. I had to rush to get ready as I hadn’t showered all day.. and then I had.. the pants emergency.

I could not find my pants. My “good jeans”. I have many pairs of jeans, but most are too big (Please see “pants” portion of blog)… I really only have a couple of pair that look good on me.. after 20 minutes of searching, I called my daughter. Yes, my pants were in Kitchener.

Awesome.

So.. I put on one of my many skirts.. and feeling far too dressed up, went to meet my date for the drink.

He was cute. Quite good looking as a matter of fact.  And funny.. intelligent.. quite charming.. we seemed to have lots to talk about and got along fairly well, I thought..

The establishment we were at was closing.. so we went to another to continue our conversation.. all in all it was quite a fun night.  At the end of our time together, there was the usual.. ok, we’ll have to do this again type thing…

The next day, I text’d him.. and he responded.. all good.  Then.. me being the friendly type of course sent another text with something I found amusing later in the week.. and.. then I had a link I thought he might be interested in.. so I found him (at least I think it was him…) on Facebook and sent it.. and then another text re: something funny.. you’re getting the picture here.

I realize that there was no huge “Love Connection” or anything.. but figured he was a cool guy and I was just sending stuff like I’d send to any friend.. had hoped we could be friends and stuff… but.. yeah. I’m sometimes a little too intense.

I was discussing the hairy shirtless guy and the “cyber stalker” with someone and how I had felt uncomfortable, etc. And suddenly realized…

I was a hairy shirtless cyber stalker. Oh, and texter. (that’s TEXTER not DEXTER)

Thinking back to our evening together.. I was nervous.   Anxious. And.. thinking about it now.. likely obnoxious. I talk too much (you already knew that..) I’m loud, brash.. sometimes politically incorrect…..

First of all.. I was way overdressed for the occasion and in retrospect likely looked like I was trying WAY too hard (mind you, I dress like this often, but for this visit to the pub… yikes… )  Plus, I think I was pretty much like one of those 8 year olds trying to impress the adults… “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! WATCH ME WHILE I DO A BACKFLIP OFF THE HIGHDIVE!!”

Fuck. I’ve officially become pathetisad. FML. Usually, I only let the crazy out in little bits. Not this time, as I recall….

Hell, I was awful at dating when I was a kid. I SUCK AT IT.  I suppose I could blame the various head injuries,  combined with nerves, alcohol and the hope that he wasn’t a serial killer, or worse yet, a Jehovah’s Witness.. but still.. Really?  Ugh.  I have become what I despise most.  Seemingly desperate.

On a normal, regular basis.. I’m pretty relaxed.. pretty easygoing.. most think I’m a pretty cool chick (either that or they’re just humouring me.. wouldn’t be the first time I’m sure…)  I tend to have a self deprecating sense of humour and a healthy sense of the absurd combined with an overabundance of ironic wit and sarcasm.. Which, perhaps some don’t enjoy… but.. that’s who I am.  Only I was MORE SO on this particular occasion, methinks.  Apparently it’s because I’m an Aries..

Women born under this sign typically are more aggressive and forceful in getting the things that they want. Because of that, they can sometimes have problems in their romantic relationships. An Aries women is forever in the search for a ’real man’ who will be able to handle her. (or perhaps that should say “put up with me”.. LOL)

Regardless, I’m a “live and learn” type person.. everything happens for a reason, I’m wont to say.. So, I learned something.  Be myself.. stop overtrying.. stop texting the poor guy… oh, and wax my hairy, cyber stalking chest.

There may be plenty of fish.. but I think I’m out of the pond for a while.. 😉

Life: Things are good otherwise.
Love: Did you not READ the post?
Pants: I wore a skirt. See above.

Good Fish, Bad Fish

Pisces is the 12th sign of the Zodiac and is represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions. The two fish symbolize the internal struggle of the soul within a Pisces. Often, the fish are swimming away from each other in a circle representing life after death or reincarnation. Pisces is considered a feminine or negative sign. Feminine signs are considered more passive, receptive and sensitive than masculine/positive signs.

Pisces .. the fish..

Pisces are sensitive, humane and often idealistic. People born under this sign react emotionally to everything making them compassionate and sensitive to those around them. Rather than taking an analytical approach to life, pisces react to the feelings of others and as a result can be very influential when they choose to be. In the right situaltion a Pisces can be capable of incredible deeds. The positive nature of a Pisces and the fact that they are tuned into the feelings of others makes them socially popular.
No, I have not turned this  into a Horoscope site.

I have many Pisces in my life.. always have.. somehow I am drawn to the fish.. or related to them..   However, in this particular post I wanted to address three fish who happen to be having birthdays within the same week.. three people who are very important in my life..

My sister Lara celebrates her birthday on February 24th.. as that is the day that she was born. Lara is four years younger than me and we’ve generally always gotten along.  She is a lovely, kind, wonderful and attractive person.. She’s a great wife to her husband Joe and the amazing mother to three funny, intelligent and well behaved children.  She’s a marathon runner and an Occupational Therapist in her business life.  She’s pretty and smart and does NOT look like she’s had three children. For that, I am envious, however, she is a runner and I am relatively lazy. LOL.

I can remember being about 7 or 8 and Lara went “missing”.. My other sister Barb and I went to all the neighbours looking for her and came home crying when we couldn’t find her.  She was in the basement the entire time playing quietly and no one thought to look there. I remember a picture of Lara one Christmas when she was very young.. she looked like a doll sitting on a tiny couch.  She was an exceptionally pretty child with lovely blonde hair.

When Lara was about 17, she and her 2 friends and I made a trip to Niagara Falls and stayed in a hotel.  It was a tremendously fun trip… To this day, we’ve maintained that we went to wax museums and tourist attractions (well, we DID go to the Falls..) when in reality there was, perhaps, some underaged drinking in bars across the US border.  I’m 45. I think it’s a little late for my mother to ground me. I hope.

Lara and I have not lived in the same city for many years and I regret the fact that we are not closer.  I love her sense of humour, her desire to always make other people happy.. her willingness to help others whenever possible.. her giant heart and her sensitivity and compassion for everyone around her.  I think perhaps for her birthday I might like to actually spend some time alone with her. Oh wait.. that’s more of a gift for me than it is for her… LOL

Jennifer’s birthday is February 25th.  She calls me “the new mommy”.  This stems from 2 incidents.. one being an occasion when she was dating a young man and she discovered that he had a toddler… He became indignant when we were in the Santa Claus parade and he felt she hadn’t paid enough attention to his daughter.  My response was “what the hell were you supposed to do? Jump off the fuckin’ float, pick her up and swing her in the air and scream “I’M YOUR NEW MOMMY! I’M YOUR NEW MOMMY!!” ?”  Shortly after this, Jenn revealed that her dad had a tiny crush on me and we then proceeded to discuss that if I WERE to marry her father, I would be HER new mommy.. but I wouldn’t be picking her up or swinging her around..

Jennifer recently became a mother .. to the very beautiful Ayson.  She’s a natural mother.  And, as the “new mommy”.. my status has been upgraded to “new grandma”.. kinda.. I’m not wearing any orthopedic shoes anytime soon (no offence, Mother.)

Jenn and I have had many many adventures.. nearly being killed by a giant truck on Hwy 93 in Orr Lake… various concerts, misadventures at the Stampede Corral.. Oktoberfesting.. wine, crying, laughing, boy trouble, many secrets.. .. but mostly laughing.   I cherish her friendship.

Katy was born on February 20, 1990 and turned 20 this year.  It was a bit of a tough birthday for her as she had a lot of ups and downs during her birthday week.. But I can safely say that things are on the upswing.  I wrote a very long blog about my beautiful daughter last year on her birthday which you can read if you like.

Katy is smart and beautiful and funny.  She is everything a mother could hope for in a daughter.  She’s also one of my best friends.  And she deserves everything good in life. I know she’ll get it.

All three of these wonderful women are beautiful, talented, smart, funny, sensitive, passionate, empathetic and just amazing.   I am absolutely blessed to have them in my life.  I thank the Universe for them.  I am happy and grateful for their love.

Happy Birthday Lara.  Happy Birthday Jenn.  And Happy Birthday Katy.  I hope this is the best year yet.

Oh, the Good Fish/Bad Fish?  This is how Jenn describes Pisces… part good.. and a little part bad.. or maybe the better word is adventurous…  All I know is, I pretty much only see the good.  I love you all. Happy Birthday.

Life: An adventure every day!
Love: There’s a lot in my life.
Pants: I think I need to get some new ones.

Another Quiz because I’m too Lazy to Think of Anything..

Okay, maybe not LAZY per se.. but I did get this via email and thought I’d do this as I’m having a bit of a hard time thinking of hilarious things lately (but just wait.. you know I’ll think of something eventually..) It’s mostly due to my ongoing plans for world domination. It’s difficult to be ever so enchanting and amusing when you are struggling with how to overthrow world powers.. and what to wear.. but I digress..
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Granny.. Mary Elizabeth. But I’m Beth, not Liz. If you call me Liz or Elizabeth I likely will not respond.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I can’t recall to tell the truth. I’m a rock. LOL. ummm… likely was being slightly hormonal and shed a tear at something silly.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I mostly print, but yes, when I’m not being sloppy, my handwriting is quite nice, thanks.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Likely turkey, but I like many

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two.. Katy (nearly 20) and Josh (140

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.  I’m a pretty good partner in crime.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Is that a rhetorical question?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope.  No adnoids either.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I’ll pass. Jumped off a 40 foot board as a teen and my ears popped. Hard. Not fun.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Hmmm.. I like Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Special K (my sister and I used to tell people my grandfather invented it and that the K really stood for KUBILIUS.. our birth name)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Not often

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically: yes, though not as much as I’d like to be.  Emotionally: yes and no.  Sometimes I am analytical and stoical, sometimes I can be as unstable as a bag of rats in a meth lab….

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE
Eyes, personality.. smile.. teeth (or lack thereof)

14. RED OR PINK?
Red. Always Red.  Everything in my purse is red, as is my phone, car, bedding.. you name it..

15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My self-doubt. My lack of willpower.. LOL

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
All of the people I don’t see nearly often enough..

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Who said I was wearing pants? 😉

18.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Chicken and Salad

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The Beatles White Album

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Red. Dark Red.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla, fabric softener, fresh smells, citrusy.. outdoors.. a campfire burning, babies.  (I re-read that, and I hope you please note that there is a comma in there. I do not condone the burning of babies, small animals or trash for that matter..)

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Katy

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, a friend from long ago.  🙂

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football.

25. HAIR COLOUR?
Black. Although it has been known to be various shades of brown and red.

26. EYE COLOR?
Hazel.. but depending on the light, what I’m wearing and if I’ve cried.. brown or greenish

27.  FAVORITE FOOD?
All of it.  Steak, shrimp.. barbequed meat is number one with me.

28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy. Funny movies please.. life is depressing enough without horror films or having to listen to Coldplay.

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
uh… Shawshank Redemption.. again.

30. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black

34.  FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate mousse perhaps.. cheesecake

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Story of You

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It is black like my heart.

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nada. Wasn’t home.

38. FAVORITE SOUND?
hmmm.. laughter

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Germany..  and South America

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Does being a smartass count?

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
St. Joseph’s Hospital, Hamilton Ontario.

Life: going well
Love: do you realize how much I regret calling the blog “Life Love and Pants”..?  Each time I must think of something amusing to indicate my lack of love life. But honestly, I’m not bitter.. LOL
Pants: Did I say I was wearing pants? 😉

New Beginnings

I’m not a sharer.

I know it seems strange for me to say that considering I’ve spent the last year chronicling my life on the internet.  But I’m really not.

I’m an excellent actress. Far more than most realize. Despite my outward appearance of joviality, I don’t share my feelings with many.. and not often. I sometimes push all my bad feelings down so that no one knows there are there except for me…. putting on the face of a permanently happy girl.  And to tell the truth, I am more happy than not.. but.. I’m babbling now…

photo by Heather Meyers Photography

What brought this on, you ask?  New Year’s Eve.  It is one of my least favourite holidays of the year.

It’s always been somewhat depressing for me.. it’s the end of Christmas, after all.  Time to leave that magical time behind, take down the tree and head back to work or school or what have you.  Depressing as all fuck.

I’ve never been one to revel in Auld Lang Syne and kiss a bunch of strangers…

I mean, I’ve had some good New Year’s Eves.. as a kid I remember trying to stay up till midnight and watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and dancing around.. as a teen there were a few parties.. as an adult, I often worked the night.  For years I DJ’d at the Owen Sound Greys Hockey dance… it was actually quite fun. My husband (at the time) Jamie and I would go up there.. I’d play tunes.. we’d dance… have some food and enjoy ourselves.

The big Y2K New Year’s was spent in Marathon, Ontario. It’s north.. very north.. near Thunder Bay. Hey, if the world’s going to end, might as well be in God’s country, right?  No, actually, Jamie was gigging .. what was supposed to be a huge party turned into about 40 people as many stayed home.. afraid of the impending doom.  We still had a great time..  afterward all of us went back to our hotel.. we were the ONLY people staying there.. not even any staff!! They just left the door of the Best Western open for us.. we stayed up a bit, had some drinks and had a blast.

A couple of years ago we just stayed home.. me, Katy and Josh, BFF Jodi, Alyssa (Katy’s BFF) and Katy’s boyfriend at the time.. we karaoke’d.. had some drinks and decided to go out and slide on the ice rink next door.. much hilarity ensued, as did some somewhat embarrassing photos (“we were outside?” said Jodi….) and soaked clothing from falling in the snow.. but it was fun.

However, most years I choose to lay low.. I’ve tried to go to the bar or the dance or what have you, but I find it a downer.

Which brings me to the sharing part..

Last year was the worst New Year’s of my life.  And unfortunately I let that colour much of the year.

I don’t want to go into detail… I’m saving that for the book, after all.. more on that later… but suffice to say, I was assaulted.  I’m fine. Really.  Finally.  Justice has been served. It’s all good. And no, other than that, I don’t want to talk about it.  It seemed a rather cruel joke by the Universe seeing as I had just suffered a year of moving, lost love and losing my job.  The ultimate capper to a horrible year.

Unfortunately, after this happened, I shut down and spent the better part of a month hiding in my house.  It was what I needed to do at the time.  Several very close and good friends helped me through it.  But it still affected me.  Of course.  I lost a lot of self confidence, self worth…. and chose to deal with it in not very constructive ways.. usually involving wine and crying.

However, the point of this is to not make everyone feel sorry for me.. because they shouldn’t.  I told you already.. It’s all good.

The point of this is that although it took me many months, I finally started turning things around.

This past year wasn’t a banner year.  But there were a lot of very good things that happened.  I made a lot of new friends.. many of them through social media channels.  I finally realized that what I want to be when I grow up .. is a writer.  I started writing a book.. not done yet.. but soon.  I reconnected with many people from my past who meant a lot to me.. Avril.. Wayne.. many many from high school…

Lost some people from my life as well.. some died.. some… I had to remove from my life for self preservation.

I fell in love this year.  No, I’m not telling you with whom.  But it didn’t.. and won’t.. work out.  He knows. And he loves me too and remains an important part of my life.  So it’s still a good thing.

I saw many concerts.. AC/DC, Bob Dylan, Springsteen.. to name a few.. things on the bucket list.. I had many people who loved me help me when things were really not good.. Jodi, Trevor.. my family.. even my ex-husband Jamie has been a wealth of support and friendship.  Yes, we are an unusual pair.

Despite the pain, I had a lot of laughter.  Many good times with friends.  I loved and enjoyed them all.

I did actually accomplish a few of my resolutions from last year.. so I believe that to be progress.  I’ve recently started an exciting new career adventure.. And my children continue to amuse me, amaze me and provide me with unconditional love.  They are two of the finest people I know.

What started so horribly has turned out quite well I think.  I can honestly say that I am actually happy … that’s taken me a long time to accomplish, truthfully.  But I am.  There’s always room for more happiness though.. and more laughter..  And I’ve learned the past helps shape who you are, but does not control your future.

My best Christmas gift this year was a card. It was from my parents.  In summary, it was to tell me how proud they are of me and how strong I am.  Best gift ever.

I’m actually looking forward to this New Year’s Eve. I am spending it surrounded by people I care about and who care about me.  It will be low key and quiet.  Which is just fine.

So if you are reading this.. you likely have affected my life whether you know it or not.  Thank you for being a part of my journey.  Thank you for being there for me.. you mean a lot to me..   My wish for you for 2010 is love, peace, happiness, contentment and much joy and laughter.

And I wish that for me, too.

Because 2010 is my year for a new beginning.  It’s the year of the Tiger. I’m going to grab the tiger by the tail…

Life: All good.
Love: I love you all very much.
Pants: Yes, I will be wearing pants this evening. Thanks for asking..