Tag Archives: humor

Fill in the Blank

From my friend Kyle (@IknowKyleFord) who is super awesome.  Another one of those fill in the blank quiz things that I seem to enjoy… No, I don’t know why….

Me, Josh and Jodi on an adventure...

Me, Josh and Jodi on an adventure...

My ex… is one of my best friends. Took a while, but it’s all good.  I call him Fernando in the blog, but it’s an alias. Sometimes I call him Paco.
Maybe I should…make a list of what I will do today…pick out an outfit for tomorrow.. take the dog for a big walk.. write some stuff.. do some research.. finish writing that article. Hey, I think I just made my list.
I love…my puppy. Oh, and my kids.
People would say that I’m…mildly amusing and very goofy.
I don’t understand…ignorance. Or why people like Coldplay.
When I wake up in the morning…I wish I had a coffeemaker beside my bed like in a hotel.
Life is full of… adventure. And liquor ….and chocolate.
My past is…the past….let it go, dude.
Parties are…fun. And often a source of photos you don’t want posted on Facebook. You, I mean.  That has never happened to me. I have no idea what you are talking about so you can stop now.
I wish…something.. but it’s a secret. 😉  Saw 2 shooting stars last night. Yes, I’m superstitious. Sue me.
Tomorrow…is Friday already! Woot!
I have low tolerance…for the stupidity of others.
I am totally terrified of…something bad happening to someone I love.
If I had a million dollars…I’d put some away for my kids, and move closer to them. And start a business with BFF Jodi.  And have a kickass party.
I am…tired of waiting. (I love you, Trews..)
My home is…where my heart is.
My best friend…is pretty freakin’ awesome.
My parents taught me…everything I know about life.  Including not running with scissors, no swimming within an hour of eating and how to judo flip someone.
Every day…I take my dog for a walk.  And laugh.
My life… is anything but dull
If I found out my ex was gay…I’d set him up. LOL.
Boys are… only attracted to me if they live several hours away.  A minimum 150km radius must be maintained at all times.
Girls are… fun…. if you like that sort of thing.
I hate people who…are prejudiced.
Last November…I was still in Barrie and hating my life pretty much.
Hickory Dickory Dock…is a very strange nursery rhyme.  I will not satisfy the 12 year old in you by making this sentence rhyme in a dirty way. In fact. No rhyming at all. I’m done with this.
The best invention ever…Coffee.
I love it when… people get what they deserve – Karma’s a bitch.
Sometimes I…wonder what things would have been like if I HAD gone to med school…
I work…at it.
GO…uh, rest high on that mountain..? GO …Train?  I don’t get it.
God…is cool.
Jesus…also rocks.
Buddha…is a chubby guy. Should cut down on the carbs… Jodi has a statue of him in the backyard.
My dream last night…about something involving me showing up for a tv show in my workout gear.
My first thought waking up…why can’t you teach a dog to make coffee…?
Today I ate…hard boiled eggs, water, coffee

Sometimes I swear…: more than I should.. don’t tell my mom.
As a child, I…liked to play with the boys. 😉
The world could do with less…hate.

Life: It’s all good
Love: *sigh* Do you even have to ask?
Pants: today, I am wearing workout shorts. all good.

Have You Ever?

Again, one of those questionnaire type things that make their way around the internet.. I just find some of the questions.. and answers.. interesting.. questions1219kind of like virtual Truth or Dare…

1. Ever find anything nasty in your restaurant meal? Yes, human hair.  I got a free meal as it was obvious it wasn’t mine.
2. Ever had a gun pointed at you and if so, by who? No, but I did point a gun at someone else.. I was five and took my dad’s rifle out of the house to scare some neighbourhood boys. Thank God my dad did not keep ammo in the house.
3. Ever been tasered? You mean by police? Then, no.
4. Ever exited a moving vehicle? Yes, in the middle of a fight with my ex. Not a good day. Fell OFF a moving vehicle once too. Stupid high school kids. That would have been concussion #3 I believe…
5. Ever gone skydiving? Not on your life, buddy.
6. Ever eaten an insect? Not intentionally but yes
7. Ever eaten rattlesnake meat? No thanks
8. Ever been run over by a car? No, cut out of one though.
9. Ever been knocked unconscious? Concussion #4 I believe… fell down a flight of stairs at school. Developed tinnitus (ringing in the ears) for 2 weeks. It was awful.
10. Ever been hospitalized by an accident? Yes – couple of times.  Stitches in head, fractured pelvis.. that sort of thing.
11. Ever had surgery? Yes. A few. Tonsils, nose (not cosmetic… for breathing purposes..).. a C section among them..
12. Ever been under general anesthesia? Yes. See above.
13. Ever played Truth or Dare? Which did you pick? Yes, and depended on the question. Worst dare was streaking. I did it.

14. Ever won more than $100 playing blackjack?  No, but on the slots… yes!

15. Ever saved a life? Put out a fire at my neighbour’s house once… 

16. Ever been chased on the freeway in a road rage incident? No, but I’ve been in the car with the “chaser”.. scary!

17. Ever been audited by the IRS/CRA? No.  Knock wood.
18. Ever tricked someone by putting sugar in the salt shaker? No.. but I’ve loosened a few lids… 😉
19. Ever whittled something out of wood? Do I look like I grew up in the hills?
20. Ever surprised yourself by fixing something you thought unrepairable? Yes. Several things including a broken heart.
21. Ever fired a gun? If so, when was the first time? Nope. Thank goodness (see #2)

22. Ever confronted a burglar? No
23. Ever had something stolen out of a locker? Yes
24. Ever written a book or “how to” guide of some sort? LOL. Yes, see last blog post.
25. Ever been asked for your autograph? Yes when I was in radio.  Yeah it’s worth MILLIONS…
26. Ever kissed the ground? Not that I can recall…

27. Ever steered a car with a body part other than your hands? No. isn’t that a guy thing?
28. Ever worn mismatched socks in public? Most days. LOL
29. What’s the nicest thing someone’s ever done for you? Many things.. too many to mention.

30. Ever lit off a smoke bomb? no
31. Ever break a tooth? Yes unfortunately… suckage. TWICE BOTH times on POPCORN. I avoid it now..
32. Ever hit a wild animal while driving? A skunk. AWFUL lemme tell ya.. couldn’t drive the car for a couple of days. YUCK
33. Ever have a bird fly into the windshield of a vehicle you were in? yes
34. Ever bust open an old fashioned thermometer and play with the mercury? Yes, as a kid
35. Ever suck on a tootsie pop without biting it?  Yes, but not for long…
36. Ever kill an afternoon reading comic books? yes! I used to collect comic books
37. Ever fallen off a ladder? Yes but not far.
38. Ever fallen off a roof? No.  I used to climb out my bedroom window and across the roof and down the antenna to sneak off to parties when I was about 15. Well, until I got caught.
39. Ever fall in love at first sight? No, I don’t think so.  There’s still time…
40. Ever seen one of your own bones exposed? Yuck. No.
41. Ever been served a bowl of chicken soup with the claw still on the drumstick? LMAO NO!
42. Ever find something that you thought was really valuable, only it turned out to be worthless? Yes. Mostly relationships. LOL
43. Ever had a celebrity crush? David Cassidy when I was really young.. then Shaun Cassidy in Grade 7/8. And I’d totally do George Clooney.
44. Ever see an animal being born in person? Yes, kittens.
45. Ever see a human baby being born in person? Yes, Katy.. Josh they knocked me out for. He was being difficult. Nothing’s changed.. LOL
46. Ever wake up screaming? Yes. But then I got a divorce.
47. Ever held your breathe for more than 2 minutes? Yes, when I was much younger and an avid swimmer
48. Ever washed a car in a bikini? That’s what I’m doing right now as a matter of fact…
49. Ever told someone yapping in a crowded movie theater during the movie to shut the hell up? Yes.. it’s nearly always chicks too.
50. Ever been told that you look like a celebrity? Yes. Elizabeth Taylor (never saw that).  Julie Kavner (Rhoda’s sister Brenda and the voice of Marge Simpson…) .. And Marilyn Chambers, porn star. LOL.


Life: Living it, baby!
Love: The only boys that seem to like me live very far away. Maybe I should move. Oh, I just did. Never mind…
Pants: Yes, I’m wearing some (I was kidding about the bikini…)

How to Get Blocked in 8 Simple Steps!

Once again, I must preface the post with the warning.. “If you are my Mother, do NOT read this. No, really Mom.. there are just some things you don’t want to know, being the good Catholic woman that you are. So, seriously, go make a Sanka and watch some Coronation Street and forget that you ever even came across this blog post, okay? Because you really shouldn’t read it. K? K. Love you!”

No, seriously Mother. STOP NOW.dude

Well,  now that I have that out of the way….

Over the weekend I received a “friend request” on Facebook.  Not unusual, per se. I receive usually a few a week.. many people that I know through the music business or friends of friends.. some that I’ve met through Twitter.. that sort of thing.

So when I receive a request from someone I don’t immediately recognize, I merely investigate their profile.. see who or what we have in common and determine whether or not I really want to befriend this person. 

Mind you,  I have various levels of “friendship”.. if you’re reading this now, that likely means you can read my links,etc., and therefore you likely have full access. I have multiple levels of access.. some can’t see my wall posts.. some can’t see any pictures.. things like that. Just depends.  And sometimes statuses change dependant upon our interaction.

That being said, I didn’t look too closely at Buddy’s profile.. he looked kind of familiar although I didn’t recognize the name , but I still added him.

Almost immediately the IM chatty thing opened up and Buddy started yacking.   Mostly inane chatter.. the usual crap. I asked if his FB name was his “real” name.. it was not, and he told me his proper handle.  And then whilst we chatted it hit me.. this was a guy I had met online through a dating site.. we met once about 4 years ago.  Emphasis on the ONCE.

We met for a drink… it didn’t go extremely well.. I had absolutely no interest and ceased contact. And quit with the online dating.

Once I made the connection I tried to gracefully get out of the conversation without looking like a complete and utter bitch.  I’m not a fan of hurting anyone’s feelings, regardless of how jerky I might think they are.. so I merely chose to hit the “ignore” button for a bit.. and then said I had to go. 

And then the messages started.  There were several. And based on Buddy’s profile and his messages,  I have created a list of actions you can perform in order to be immediately blocked on Facebook, Twitter or any other Social Media site or application.

How to Get Me to Block You in 8 Simple Steps

1. Please let me know that you have creeped all of my Facebook photos and have enjoyed them in an intimate way. Especially if I really don’t know you very well. Really, it’s charming and endearing. Not creepy or disturbing at all.

2. Use an alias. Nothing says forthcoming and upstanding like not using your own name. Again, not at all unsettling or suspicious.

3. Include in your profile a lot of shots of just your torso.  No head, just neck to very, very close to south of the border. HAWT. Chicks dig it.

4. Only have girls on your friends list. This does indeed show me that you are a ladies man. And that you apparently were beat up by all the other guys in school and therefore have no real friends. It’s just a theory.

5. Ensure that you have all the “cool” applications like “Babe of the Day” and “Hot or Not” installed on your Facebook page. This is really impressive and again is an indicator of your extreme hawt-ness and likeability.  Also take all the cool quizzes.. start with “What Kind of Lover Are You” and work your way up.

6.  When contacting me by chat or messaging, please indicate that you had a very hard time getting to sleep after we chatted because you were thinking of me in special and intimate ways.  This is of course even though we don’t know each other and I have given you absolutely no indication that I find you attractive in the least. 

7. Please refrain from discussing anything remotely interesting.  Keep all topics of conversation confined to what I look like, my various physical attributes and what affect they may have on the fit of your pants.

8. Go try this on some other chick, because frankly, I’ve already unfriended you.. you will never read this… and I have no interest in chatting with you again.  Seriously, dude. I have no idea if this actually ever works for you or not, but I’m thinking not.  Either that or you end up dating a lot of girls whose IQ’s range in the double digits. 

Addendum. #9. (courtesy of the lovely and talented Lea Cater  — @leannecater)  I would add step #9 “when I tell you I’m seeing someone & there4 can’t date you, call me a LIAR! And demand details as proof 😉

Suffice to say, Buddy and I are no longer “friends”.  (Insert ironic sad face icon here)

And people wonder why I’m still single.

Life: All in all going all right.
Pants: doing up the belt a little tighter these days… good news..

Just Being Neighbourly, is All…

I’ve made friends with one of my new neighbours. Which is terrific, because it really kinda sucks when you don’t like your neighbours and then you have to see them all the time and you sort of avoid each other and all that crap.streetparty_mingling

Because of course they then have the tendency to just be jerks (in my experience) and do stuff like leave grass clippings on your driveway and stuff. (One of the other neighbours here did that this week.. I am taking the high road and cleaning them up and not dumping them on his drive.)

Regardless, this morning I was doing some cleaning and went out front to empty the recycling bin.. and while I was out there, Jim from across the street waved and said hi and started having a big ol’ conversation with me. Which was awesome, because I was in pajamas. However, it was nice chit chatting and being friendly.. in my last place I didn’t really know any of the neighbours but for the one directly next door and I lived there for nearly a year.

When I was a kid EVERYBODY knew their neighbours.  Mind you, growing up we had a pool so every kid for miles knew where I lived and wanted to be my friend .. in the summer, anyway.  My family lived in the same house for 40 odd years; most of the other neighbours were there for nearly as long, and everyone knew everyone. It was awesome.

On Victoria Day, everyone in the neighbourhood would come to our house and my dad would light everyones’ fireworks (all the other dads were a-scared of fireworks.. not my dad.. he used a blowtorch to light them..) and the parents would have some of Mr. Selsek’s and Mr. Mutart’s homemade wine and get a little tipsy and everyone would “oooooh and aaaaah” and the kids would drink kool-aid and eat popcorn. 

We had the type of neighbours that would bring you over some homemade jam or a basket of peaches or tomatoes just because.. where they’d shovel your driveway if you were away (so burglars wouldn’t know you weren’t home..).  My dad regularly would help out one neighbour or another with a plumbing problem or fixing an electrical outlet or trying to get raccoons out of their chimneys.  The neighbourhood ladies would often get together for a coffee or a tea. It was just.. friendly.

At one point, one of the original neighbours moved out and the house was sold. The people who moved in were from a different area of the city (i.e. bad area of town) and immediately put up fences and locked gates and the whole nine yards.. effectually making their property a bit of an eyesore to the neighbourhood.  Another inhabitant of the street spoke up about this and this launched an all out war between the two the end result of which was going to court.. but not before the newbies to the ‘hood created an effigy of their “nosy neighbour” depicting her as a witch flying on a broom and displayed it for all to see.  At least it was interesting..

I’ve never had awful neighbour problems.. just some apathetic ones.  People who made no effort whatsoever to be pleasant or even say hi.   If you look up “neighbour” in the thesaurus, one of the words you can substitute is “friend”.  In some places I’ve lived I’ve made friends and managed to stay in touch with those people.. but in other places, not so much.  And that makes it somewhat lonely and sheltered I find.. so I try to be friendly when the opportunity presents itself.

So this morning when Jim came across the street to have a chat, it was very nice.  A lovely, amiable man who made suggestions about different places I could take my son this weekend.. yapped about how buddy didn’t clean up his lawn clippings.. the weather, you know, the usual neighbour stuff.

Mind you, then I noticed that Jim seemed to be admiring my shirt…. which was basically just your average plain white tee.  And I wasn’t wearing a bra.  And it was a bit chilly out this morning.  ‘Nuff said.  I couldn’t cross my arms and head into the house fast enough…

I guess sometimes there’s such a thing as being “too” friendly. Darn. I was just trying to be neighbourly…..

Life: So far, so good!
Love: I’m debating on deleting this section as “nothing to report” is even boring ME…
Pants: About to head out for another marathon walk/run. Should be fun!

25 Things I Would Tell My Children.

A friend sent me an email about 25 things she wishes she would have known when she was her daughter’s age. My children are 19 and 14.. and I hope they actually read this.. and listen to their mother…

1. Don’t get caught up in gossip or petty fights between your friends.  They may seem earth shattering at the time, but most of the time it’s just crap. Always ask yourself if this will matter in a day, a week, a month or a year from now.HEART%20LOU

2. Get a job. Not because we don’t want to support you but because when you fail on your own and then you succeed, no one can take that away from you. That job will give you confidence, responsibility and self-respect. Sounds like bullshit but one day you will realize it is the truth.  And put away 20% of your paycheque. EVERY cheque. Save it. Learn how to save money NOW.  Actually, put away more than that, then when the time comes when you want to travel or buy a car, you’ll be way ahead of the game.

3. As tempting as it is, don’t go crazy with credit cards. Get one, use it sparingly, pay it off quickly. Pay cash as much as you can.

4. Start exercising now and do it every day. At least something. Walk, run, whatever you feel comfortable with. Just MOVE.

5. Don’t measure yourself against the ridiculously high standards of the entertainment industry. Just be the best person you can be.  If your heart is happy that will reflect in your appearance.

6. You are smart, talented and unique. Never ever forget that.

7. Talk to your grandparents.  Spend time with them. Ask them about what it was like when they were your age. Yes, I know sometimes “old people” are “boring” but you’ll cherish the memories you make.

8. Don’t “skip” family events. Spend time with your aunts, uncles, cousins. I know that you’d rather be with your friends but you’ll be happy that you still have these relationships years down the road.

9. When you feel sad or upset, tell someone. Always have someone you can tell things to.  Your mother, your father, a friend.  Never ever think that anything is insurmountable. Again, think about whether this will be important tomorrow, next week.. next year.  And never be afraid to ask for help, regardless of how bad you think your problem is.

10. Go ahead and drink. drink until you puke. Just don’t drive. Alcohol isn’t as likely to kill you as getting behind the wheel of a car. Have fun with your friends but don’t put yourselves at risk.

11.  Don’t be afraid.  Say hi to that person you like. Go someplace new.  Try a new activity.  Every once in a while take a risk….(nothing STUPID though.. and always be safe!)

12. Don’t settle.  Whether it be in love, or work or your friendships. Don’t stay with someone or a situation just because it’s comfortable. You deserve the best of everything, but it won’t be handed to you. You’ll have to work for it.  And if you settle you’ll always be wondering “what if?”

13. Always, always, always take the high road. There is never a reason to intentionally hurt someone. Do what in your heart you know is right and you will never have any regrets. It’s not easy but it is worth it.

14. Do not be embarrassed to say you believe in God if you do. Everyone believes in God, some of us just have another word for God like love, humankind or truth. God is a man made word, believe in what gives you faith and strength.

15. Don’t smoke. Don’t smoke and under no circumstances take chemical drugs. Smoking will kill you. Slowly, something else might get you first just by way of fate but smoking will suck the oxygen from your cells, age you, fight your body internally and invite cancer in to stay. Chemical drugs will mess you up far beyond what you can imagine. Some people can get away with them for awhile. It’s a crap shoot and believe me, the crap will devour you.

16. Smile. Especially when you don’t really feel like it. Sometimes just by smiling, you’ll improve your mood and the attitudes of everyone around you.  And laugh every day. If it doesn’t happen naturally, find something on tv or call someone you know who will make you laugh.

17. Perform an act of kindness every day. It doesn’t have to be big.  Hold the door open for people. Always help ladies with strollers and the elderly.  Buy someone a coffee. It doesn’t have to cost money, just do something helpful and nice.  Volunteer. Be charitable. Always remember that “there for but the grace of God go I”. Things can change in a heartbeat. Always help those less fortunate than yourself if you are able to.

18. Be polite. Always say please and thank you.  It’s difficult sometimes, but you can do it.

19. Be careful of what you tell others. Don’t tell everyone every bad thing or annoyance about your partner or friends… you may forgive them, but sometimes your friends/family may not. Pick your battles.

20. Always have a pet. You will be the recipient of unconditional love and always have someone who loves you to come home to.

21. Have a dream.  Never give it up and never let anyone talk you out of it.  Then plan on how you’re going to capture that dream.

22. Always have something that is just yours.  Something that you can do all by yourself no matter where you are. Whether it’s reading or writing or composing. Something that makes you happy and fulfilled.  Then when you are bored or lonely or just need some time alone, you will always have something that brightens your spirits. Be creative. Cook, paint, sing, write. Dance, sculpt, garden.. whatever it is that makes you feel creative, do it. It’s good for your soul.

23. Fall in love with someone who makes you feel good about yourself.  Someone that you enjoy being with in all situations. That makes you laugh but will be there if you need to cry.  Never change who you are for someone else (unless it’s for the better..) And don’t mistake hormones for “love”.  Love should never make you feel desperate, upset or obsessed.  Just always remember that Love is supposed to make you feel GOOD. If it makes you feel bad, then chances are it’s something else.

24. Find whatever it is that you are passionate about then figure out how you can do that for a living. If you love your job it will never be work.

25. Never be afraid to tell someone how you feel. If you love them, tell them. You may not get an “I love you” back, but at least you let them know they are loved. And the more love you share, the more you get back.

By the way, I love you both very much.

Life: Not bad at all. Mind you, wish I knew some of this stuff 25 years ago…
Love: Love my family and friends.
Pants: Burned off a lot of calories moving.. going well!

Yes, Another Questionnaire..

Got this via email the other day… and as I’ve mentioned before I actually do like them… I often will learn something about whoever sent it.. and sometimes the questions are pretty interesting.. plus, if I post it, then I don’t have to think of something to write about. Yes, I’m lazy sometimes. 

35 ODD Things about Beth Warren (like there wasn’t enough oddities known about me already…)pic

Feel free to cut, paste, change answers to your own and email to half the free world. Or not. Do whatever you want.. you will anyway…

1. Do you like blue cheese?  Yes, yes I do. I like pieces of bleu cheese in salad in particular. With some pear and pecans and field greens. I also like dipping celery in it. I feel ripped off if they bring me Ranch with the chicken wings…

2. Have you ever smoked? Yes.
3. Do you own a gun?  No.  Not my thing. I’ve never even fired one. Although I did apply to the OPP when I was in my 20’s. 

4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite when you were a kid? Orange I think… Liked Strawberry too.
5. Do you ever wish you could click “undo” in your life like you do on your computer?  Yes.  Usually follows a rash decision involving too much wine and a telephone.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like em.  I like them with tomatoes and onions, in particular. There’s a great place in Burlington called Easterbrooks which has about a billion kinds of hot dogs and old bottled pop and it’s all old and funky. Haven’t been there for years. I hope it doesn’t suck now.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? It’s a Wonderful Life.. The Grinch who Stole Christmas (I have all the lyrics to the song written out..)

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?   Water and Coffee
9. Can you do push ups? Yes I can. Not tons of them, but a few…

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? The cross necklace I always wear.  My grandmother used to give us money and we’d buy ourselves something from her. I bought this necklace and have worn it for about 25 years.  It also has a charm from Thailand on it that means “peace” and it’s from my friend Kelly.  She was hoping it would bring me some.

11. Favorite hobby?  Writing weird things.  Playing on the computer. I really like painting.. but don’t do much of it anymore.. I like creative things.

 12. Do you have A. D. D.?  LOOK A PUPPY!   Huh? what was the question…?

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Just for computer..well, I’m SUPPOSED to,  but often forget.

14. Middle name?  Ann Margaret – Ann is on my birth certificate… Margaret is my confirmation name, but I use it. I like it.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? Packing… I’m hungry…

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, Water, Wine

17. Current worry?  Whether I’m going to be able to get everything into the storage cube… yikes. I have a lot of stuff.

18. Current hate right now?  I hate packing.

19. How did you bring in the new year? Hanging out in St. Catharines with my BFF Jodi.

20. Where would you like to go?   Italy, various countries in Europe… Mexico. Lots of places. Las Vegas!
21. Name three people who will complete this: Jodi perhaps, Michelle, and maybe Avril…

22. Do you own slippers? Yes but I never wear them. They make my feet hot.

23. What color shirt are you wearing? White tank top

24 . Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?  No. They are too slippery. I like cotton.

25. Can you whistle? Yes, but not well.. can’t do a “hockey whistle”. But then again, I never played hockey.

26. Where are you now? At my home for the next few days – my house in Barrie.. still packing..

27. Would you be a pirate? Aye matey

28. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t sing in the Shower
29. Favorite Girl’s Name?  Kaitlin/Katy… Lara… when I was young I liked girls names that you could shorten into boys names and I swore I’d name my daughter Roberta and call her Bobbi. Katy is thankful I got over that.  
30. Favorite boy’s name? Joshua, John, Jack, anything Biblical or Celtic pretty much.

31. What is in your pocket right now?   Lint
32. Last thing that made you laugh?  My BFF Jodi, my crazy dog Mocha running around the yard.

33. Worst Injury you’ve ever had? Broke my right hip in a car accident. Had to be cut out of the car. Crutches/cane for months. yikes.
34. Do you love where you live? I Love My house but don’t like living in Barrie.. hence the move next week!

35. How many TVs do you have in your house? FOUR! far too many!  One in each bedroom and a giant one in the rec room. Most are going into storage however…


Life: is taken up with packing right now
Love: No news
Pants: been much better with the working out. Yay!

A Year From Now

A year from now you’ll wish you’d started today. – Karen Lamb

I read that recently and I keep saying it over and over in my head.calendar

A year ago, I was preparing to move into my house.. the first house I had ever owned.  To recap … during the last year, I was broken up with, bought a house.. then lost my job.. now have sold the house and I’m preparing to move.. again.  And unfortunately.. as it it with human nature, I have played the “What if?” game in my head.  What if I had done this.. or that.. or the other thing.

Needless to say, it’s an exercise in futility.  And it’s annoyed the crap out of a few of my friends who wish I would stop calling them in the middle of the night to lament my situation and sing “Wind Beneath My Wings”.  But I digress. Again.

Everyone does it.. think about how if they’d only bought RIM stock or Apple, back in the day… or if I had only stuck with the exercise program I started at Lady Fitness in 1984 I’d be freakin’ CUT by now… but.. hindsight is 20/20 and uh, yeah… not going to change anything.

While I was packing up my house I ran across a “self help” book I purchased about 5 years ago and never finished.  I started it with the best of intentions … I would use this tool to help re-create and re-invent myself. 

The book mark was at page 43.  And I’m a fast reader usually.. I mean, when the new “Harry Potter” would come out, I’d finish that bad boy in 24 hours… you couldn’t stop me. I’d read non-stop until I had finished the whole thing.

While perusing this manual of self improvement I noticed another piece of paper toward the back of the book. It was a list I drew up in 2004 of things that I wanted to change about me, about my life.  Things that I needed to let go of, to get over, to get past… in order to be happy.

I’m sorry to say that out of the list of five things, only two I’ve accomplished.  Mind you, the two items I DID accomplish were HUGE.  Large, life changing stuff .. that of which I will not share with you here as frankly, it’s none of your business.. and deeply personal. 

But, the three remaining items… if I HAD done those things.. how different would my life be RIGHT NOW?  I will never know.  And there is no point in trying to figure that out.   These three items are still on my “to do” list.  Still things I wish to accomplish.

So today a new list will be written. I’ll finish reading the book and I hope these changes will improve my life. 

A year from now Iwill be able to tell you.  I’m starting today.

Life: Packing, packing, packing.
Love: I do not love packing. Not at all.
Pants: I’ve been pretty good with the exercise. I’ll let you know in a year. 😉