Tag Archives: Facebook

I Just Proved Washroom Advertising Works.

I’m thinking of plastering ads all over the stalls of washrooms as I’ve discovered that it’s very effective and hopefully I can use it to spread my message throughout the land.line

Here’s what started the whole thing.. Jodi the BFF (that stands for best friend forever, in case you’re a boy or you’ve been living in a cave) and myself decided to try to have some adventure this past weekend. We wanted to go new places, meet new people.. perhaps meet some cute boys.

We elected on Friday night to head up the road to what we had heard was a “street dance”. The road is only a few blocks away and since we planned to have a couple of cold ones, we started walking. And walking. And walked some more. In cheapass Old Navy flip flops. So it sucked.

After about nearly an hour of unintentional exercise we realized that this “street dance” was much further away than we had thought, called it quits, decided to pop into the first watering hole we came to and just grab a bevvy there. The establishment we chose had the unfortunate moniker of “The Barn”. Long story short, it lived up to its name.

We grabbed a table on the patio and shortly after sitting down a guy came over and asked to share the space. Since we’re friendly types we agreed. He explained that he was married and out for a bit with the boys.. who were “hitting on chicks” .. he just wanted to sit and relax so figured he’d “safe” with us.

it's a banana guard. don't worry it will make sense soon.

it's a banana guard. don't worry it will make sense soon.

Safe? With us? ‘Splain please…

Well, dumbass buddy here proceeded to tell us that he had assumed we were lesbians.

First, let me tell you that neither myself nor Jodi has anything against anyone who is gay. We have gay friends. We don’t care, don’t judge. However, we are not gay. We are very heterosexual. We like boys.

Dumbass’s Buddy’s theory was basically that two women “our age” out together for drinks on a Friday = gay. This theory also included the fact that we were casually dressed and not all tarted up for the bar like most of the whores girls who were in there.

We're on a boat.....

We're on a boat.....

Aside from being unimpressed with this “theory” not to mention the delivery (he was a jerk..) we had to wonder if others thought the same thing.  Needless to say we discussed at length why on earth would he or any other guy think that we were lesbians. 

After all, even though we live together we have separate rooms thankssomuch .. and sure, we have matching tattoos but that’s a “best friend” thing.. yes and we call ourselves each other’s “heterosexual life partners” (SEE? HETEROSEXUAL!) .. and of course, I joke that I make Jodi a really good wife – but that’s because I do the cooking…. and we didn’t REALLY change our last name to Warrcrookens (Warren and Crooks smashed together..)…  Not only that, we have NEVER changed our Facebook statuses to reflect “In A Relationship…” 

The rest of the weekend we did bunches of fun things like go for a drive, get ice cream, went to a bar that’s on a boat.. went to a parade and saw a clown band and shriners in little cars… rummaged through some antique stores and various shops.. found a place that sells “banana guards” (they’re for protection..) .. ate good food, went to a restaurant or two. You know, all things you’d do with your significant other best friend.

We even made a little trip to Niagara On the Lake to punch  play tourists. Wandered about, looked in shops and eventually stopped at a pub for a snack and a pint.

Mmmm delicious beer...

Perhaps it's the wife beater..??

When the waitress came to take our order we immediately bantered back and forth and played the “I-don’t-care-either-way-you-decide-cause-I’m-not-super-hungry” game until I finally uttered something about how I had to do everything, and Jodi shouldn’t worry her pretty little head or something like that and ordered for us both.

And after our moment bickering like an old married couple I said “crap. no wonder people think we’re gay.” And we laughed. Not the snide sarcastic laugh we usually use when mocking others but the big outdoor laughs we use when mocking ourselves.

Then we finished our snack and decided to hit the restroom before leaving.

I went into a stall and started reading the graffiti as I’m wont to do.. and read aloud the following:

“STAY AWAY FROM BARB W****** 519-578-****. SHE WILL *blank*, *blank* AND STEAL YOUR HUSBAND”

A couple of things happened then.. we realized we weren’t alone in the washroom as others expoded with laughter when we did. And I recognized that the phone number was in Kitchener. And I think I know this Barb chick.

We commented that everyone who goes in there likely reads that and then re-tells everyone at their table so often that  BARB W****** is likely becoming an urban legend. And has likely had to change her phone number.

And so it struck me  that perhaps this could be a great way of letting people know that BFF & I are not a “couple”…  you know, just casually go into some washrooms and write “Beth and Jodi both like boys” on the walls…. or we could go with the classic “for a good time…” but that seems too.. uh, slutty whorish mercenary over the top.  Plus there’s the little problem of getting into the men’s washrooms to write it.

And writing it in the womens’ washrooms I somehow don’t think is the answer.

But after some research I’ve determined the washroom advertising isn’t the answer.. after all, I looked Barb W****** up on Canada411 and she still has the same number – hasn’t had to change it due to the barrage of calls obviously.  Apparently the “ad campaign” wasn’t as effective after all. 

Jodi and I will just have to try harder to appear less “couple-y” I guess. And perhaps stop holding hands in public. 😉

Life: Got some stuff going on, mojo workin… we’ll let ya know.
Love: You’re kidding, right?  I really did look up Barb and found her address and everything. Perhaps I should call her for hints as she seems to have no trouble with the guys.
p.s. Jodi gets plenty of dates.. I’m the one who’s dating my laptop. LOL.
Pants: Working hard but also eating hard. Again – will keep you posted.
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How to Get Blocked in 8 Simple Steps!

Once again, I must preface the post with the warning.. “If you are my Mother, do NOT read this. No, really Mom.. there are just some things you don’t want to know, being the good Catholic woman that you are. So, seriously, go make a Sanka and watch some Coronation Street and forget that you ever even came across this blog post, okay? Because you really shouldn’t read it. K? K. Love you!”

No, seriously Mother. STOP NOW.dude

Well,  now that I have that out of the way….

Over the weekend I received a “friend request” on Facebook.  Not unusual, per se. I receive usually a few a week.. many people that I know through the music business or friends of friends.. some that I’ve met through Twitter.. that sort of thing.

So when I receive a request from someone I don’t immediately recognize, I merely investigate their profile.. see who or what we have in common and determine whether or not I really want to befriend this person. 

Mind you,  I have various levels of “friendship”.. if you’re reading this now, that likely means you can read my links,etc., and therefore you likely have full access. I have multiple levels of access.. some can’t see my wall posts.. some can’t see any pictures.. things like that. Just depends.  And sometimes statuses change dependant upon our interaction.

That being said, I didn’t look too closely at Buddy’s profile.. he looked kind of familiar although I didn’t recognize the name , but I still added him.

Almost immediately the IM chatty thing opened up and Buddy started yacking.   Mostly inane chatter.. the usual crap. I asked if his FB name was his “real” name.. it was not, and he told me his proper handle.  And then whilst we chatted it hit me.. this was a guy I had met online through a dating site.. we met once about 4 years ago.  Emphasis on the ONCE.

We met for a drink… it didn’t go extremely well.. I had absolutely no interest and ceased contact. And quit with the online dating.

Once I made the connection I tried to gracefully get out of the conversation without looking like a complete and utter bitch.  I’m not a fan of hurting anyone’s feelings, regardless of how jerky I might think they are.. so I merely chose to hit the “ignore” button for a bit.. and then said I had to go. 

And then the messages started.  There were several. And based on Buddy’s profile and his messages,  I have created a list of actions you can perform in order to be immediately blocked on Facebook, Twitter or any other Social Media site or application.

How to Get Me to Block You in 8 Simple Steps

1. Please let me know that you have creeped all of my Facebook photos and have enjoyed them in an intimate way. Especially if I really don’t know you very well. Really, it’s charming and endearing. Not creepy or disturbing at all.

2. Use an alias. Nothing says forthcoming and upstanding like not using your own name. Again, not at all unsettling or suspicious.

3. Include in your profile a lot of shots of just your torso.  No head, just neck to very, very close to south of the border. HAWT. Chicks dig it.

4. Only have girls on your friends list. This does indeed show me that you are a ladies man. And that you apparently were beat up by all the other guys in school and therefore have no real friends. It’s just a theory.

5. Ensure that you have all the “cool” applications like “Babe of the Day” and “Hot or Not” installed on your Facebook page. This is really impressive and again is an indicator of your extreme hawt-ness and likeability.  Also take all the cool quizzes.. start with “What Kind of Lover Are You” and work your way up.

6.  When contacting me by chat or messaging, please indicate that you had a very hard time getting to sleep after we chatted because you were thinking of me in special and intimate ways.  This is of course even though we don’t know each other and I have given you absolutely no indication that I find you attractive in the least. 

7. Please refrain from discussing anything remotely interesting.  Keep all topics of conversation confined to what I look like, my various physical attributes and what affect they may have on the fit of your pants.

8. Go try this on some other chick, because frankly, I’ve already unfriended you.. you will never read this… and I have no interest in chatting with you again.  Seriously, dude. I have no idea if this actually ever works for you or not, but I’m thinking not.  Either that or you end up dating a lot of girls whose IQ’s range in the double digits. 

Addendum. #9. (courtesy of the lovely and talented Lea Cater  — @leannecater)  I would add step #9 “when I tell you I’m seeing someone & there4 can’t date you, call me a LIAR! And demand details as proof 😉

Suffice to say, Buddy and I are no longer “friends”.  (Insert ironic sad face icon here)

And people wonder why I’m still single.

Life: All in all going all right.
Love: BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Pants: doing up the belt a little tighter these days… good news..

100 Truths

This is what I do when I feel slightly lazy about actually writing a blog. I answer these questionnaires. But it’s fun.  I know you’re supposed to put it on your Facebook, but y’know…  I actually do like filling them out when there are some interesting questions..   plus, I usually learn something about myself when I do them..  do your own. You know you want to.
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Coffee
2. last phone call = Oddly, a wrong number.
3.last text message = a direct message from Twitter.  Other than that, one from Katy.
4. last song you listened to = Jungle Love by Morris Day and the Tyme
5. last time you cried = last week

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = yes
7. been cheated on = Yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it = ohhhhhh yes
9. lost someone special = yes.
10. been depressed = yes
11. been drunk and threw up = yes.  But not for a very very long time.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
11. Red
12. Black
14. White

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend = yes
16. Fallen out of love = yes
17. Laughed until you cried = Absolutely
18. Met someone who changed you = yes
19. Found out who your true friends were = Absolutely have
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yes, I always find out.  Wasn’t surprised.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list= Yes.  But not telling which ones…  😉
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life = Most of them in some respect or another.
23. How many kids do you want to have= I have two amazing kids.  One of each. Both terrific humans.
24. Do you have any pets = yes… Mocha the Wonder Dog.   Also have visitation with Barley who lives with the ex.
25. Do you want to change your name = I went from Kubilius to Warren. Go read my blog on names. That’ll answer it.
26. What did you do for your last birthday = I spent time with my family.  I had a lovely birthday dinner with a great friend. I got tattoos with my BFF Jodi (well, a while later).  S’about it.
27. What time did you wake up today = which time?  First time.. about 6am. Went back to sleep.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night =watching tv with Katy. And on the computer. (I know, you’re SHOCKED)
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for! = The next adventure!!

30. Last time you saw your Mother = Couple of weeks ago. And I’ll see her this Sunday.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? = Have more time.  That I would be more organized.
32. What are you listening to right now = the breeze, outdoor sounds.. nothing in particular.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Yes. Not recently.  Perhaps I should call that MySpace guy?
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now = not being able to motivate myself some days.
35. Most visited webpage = Facebook/Twitter and some blogs I regularly read.

PERSONAL:

36. Whats your real name =Elizabeth Ann Margaret Kubilius Warren
37. Nicknames = Beth, Bethany, EvilGenius, Funniest Girl in the World, Promo Princess.
38. Relationship Status = Single. Let’s just leave that one alone.
39: Zodiac Sign= Aries.  Dragon in Chinese horoscope.
40. Male or female? = Female.  Seriously, do you think ANY guys actually fill these things out?

SCHOOLS:
41. Elementary =Glen Echo
42. Middle School = Glen Brae
43. High school/College = Glendale/Mohawk/Conestoga

MORE PERSONAL:
44. Hair colour =dark brown/black
45. Long or short = long
46. Height = 5 foot 4
47. Eyes = hazel/brown
49. Piercings = yes. Move along now.
50. Tattoos = yes, three. Aries symbol at the top of my back, Dragon on left hip area.. LAUGH on my left wrist.
51. Righty or lefty = really really right handed

FIRSTS :
52. First injury = Cracked my head open falling off the bathtub when I was 3
53. First piercing = Ears
54. First best friend = Julie Deumo
55. First sport you joined = Dofasco Minor Bowling League. Oh yeah.
56. First vacation =Four Winds Cottages.. on the Ottawa River (on the Quebec side..)
58. First pair of trainers = Never been that dedicated to buy a certain name brand

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating = nothing. but now have a craving for barbequed meat.
60. Drinking = coffee
61. I’m about to = get jiggy with it. Nah, write some stuff… do some research.
62. Listening to = didn’t we already have this question?  Nothing much.
63. Waiting to = eat.
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = Grandkids are next.  And not anytime SOON!!
65. Get Married? = eh… doesn’t look promising at the moment. LOL. But you never know!
66. Career? = Working on something very cool at the moment.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes = Eyes although the lips are good for kissing.. meh. Both.
68. Hugs or kisses= need both please.
69. Shorter or taller = Taller please. Doesn’t need to be by much.
70. Older or Younger = Older, but negotiable.
71. Romantic or spontaneous = both, each makes the other happen
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = I love arms, absolutely arms
73. Sensitive or loud =  I like both depending on the circumstance (or was that I AM both..)
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Trouble maker.  Not sure if this is “me” or prospective partner but the answer is the same either way.

HAVE YOU:
76. Kissed a stranger =yes
77. Drank hard liquor = yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts = yes
79. Sex on first date = no
80. Broken someone’s heart = Yes, and if I could change it I would, I never intended to
81. Had your own heart broken = yes
82. Been arrested = no
83. Turned someone down = yes
84. Cried when someone died = yes
85. Fallen for a friend? = yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = Most times
87. Miracles = Absolutely.  I’ve had a couple. Hopefully I haven’t reached my quota!
88. Love at first sight = yes
89. Heaven = yes
90. Santa Claus = I believe in the reason for Santa Claus
91. Kiss on the first date = yes
92. Angels = absolutely

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time = yes. 
95. Did you sing today? = not yet, my set’s not until 10pm.
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = I think that is answered by the “ever date 2 people at once question”

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? = To the time when RIM stock went public. Then I would BUY BUY BUY. Apple too.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?= Tough call. But I’d have to say no. Everything happens for a reason. Oh wait, there were a couple of… oh, never mind.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = Nope!
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = yup

Life: Some crazy stuff happening. *fingers crossed*
Love: Nothing to report
Pants: Yup, wearing some. REALLY need to get back on it. I’m getting lazy. TODAY is the day….

My Mother Would Be Proud

Remember when you were a kid and just starting school … and each day you’d come home and tell your mom about your day.. all the colouring and playing and cut n’ paste you did.. and your mom would ask “but did you make any new friends?” 

Because aside from your “work”, Mom realized that the important thing was friendships, other people and social interaction.  That if you had friends to share all your work with and your day with, and your life with… everything else seemed much more easy and fun and pleasurable.

During my time in Central Ontario, I haven’t made a ton of friends here.  Mostly because for months now I’ve known that I was eventually leaving Barrie and heading back to Southern Ontario.  I’ve kept busy on my own… but in the last couple of months I’ve made more friends in Barrie than I did for the most of the 16 months I’ve been here.. and most have been through social media. 

I have been a Facebook afficianado for years (see my post about Facebook) but just became a Twitter fan in the last 4 months.  And of course, became somewhat addicted to it.  I quite enjoy it.. I like trying to think of witty things to say that reflect what I’m actually doing.  Yes, at times I embellish slightly to make it slightly more amusing, but for the most part, it’s at least based in reality.  I’ve enjoyed “meeting” other people via Twitter and being exposed to new people via the interweb.

I’ve made a few friends that live far away.. @IKnowKyleFord and @jmoneyallday are a couple of good examples. They both live in California and maybe we’ll never meet.. but in the meantime we have very fun conversations about the strangest things and it’s highly amusing. (Please note that these are young men far outside my dating stratosphere but in no way shape or form does that make me a cougar. If I am to be an animal, it’s a wolf,  a la Harvey Keitel’s character in Pulp Fiction. Look it up. I take care of stuff. Nuff said.)

Regardless. I had the pleasure to make some “Barrie” friends through Twitter.  At one point, a “Tweet Up” was organized but I couldn’t go.. then another was organized and I made plans to attend. Thursday, June 4th. I would actually meet people I talked to online.

We were to meet at the Mansion .. on the patio. Long story short (that is usually indicative .. for me.. of a story getting longer) the Mansion patio was not open. So apparently several “tweeps” showed up.. it was closed.. they went home.  However, the one gentleman who arranged the whole she-bang (please note that I suggested the location.. not his fault it did not work..) and I had exchanged cell numbers so once we figured out it was a bust, he called me.  The conversation basically went like this … “still thirsty?” said Jon. I said “ALWAYS”.   So we met for a drink.

@Jon_Aston and I have only talked through Twitter. Oh,  and we became Facebook friends. So we had some form of interaction. Which warranted a hug when we finally met.

We met at Fitzy’s.. and got some drinks. And exchanged histories.  The big “tweet up” became me and Jon sharing a couple of drinks. And a lot of great conversation (which means mostly me talking.. LOL) and just.. fun.

Good times. Good laughs.  And social interaction.Jon and I thought of an evil plan (I’m not an evil genius for nothing) to work Twitter to get others to come meet us for drinks next time… mostly posts about us going to strip clubs (my posts) and some other stuff I shouldn’t post (also mine…mostly about shooters and bad dancing and frolicking in fountains..).  Jon’s were about friendship and camraderie and the like. I am being kind. His wife might read this.

Regardless. Great chat. Great fun. And Mom… I think I made a new friend.

Life: All good
Love: I love making new friends
Pants: not that kind of post! for shame!

A Little Bit is A Lot.

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.  ~Edmund Burke

One of my favourite things in every career I’ve had (there have been a few..)  is that I’ve had the ability to assist others in some respect.   At one point I worked in not-for-profit and loved it.  During my time in the music business, I organized fundraising events, concerts, food drives and other helpful things.  Often, these were the “best” parts of my job. 

As well as my media/marketing experience, I also have a background in Volunteer Management.  I have both been a volunteer (Girl Guides, Scouts, etc) and organized volunteers.  I enjoy the experience of helping others.  Most of the time when I’ve ended up helping out, it’s because someone had to do it. It’s as simple as that.  We need a parent to work the book fair.. well, someone has to.. I have the time and ability.. so sure.  I’ve had a bunch of charitable experiences.. from sitting on volunteer boards and committees to  being a Brownie leader.. to sponsoring a child in another country.  My experience with volunteering, or with assisting anyone for that matter, is that you don’t do it with any expectation for yourself other than a genuine desire to help.

In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy.  ~Karl Reiland12for12k-banner3-1

A couple of weeks ago, one of my Twitter friends, Jon Aston (@Jon_Aston on Twitter) was looking for “ten good people” to help out with The 12 for 12K Challenge.  I had seen the logo on Twitter in various peoples’ profile photos and noticed it on their Twitter pages, but really didn’t know a heck of a lot about it, so I asked about it.  And I asked Jon what he wanted these “ten good people” to “do”.

The 12 for 12K Challenge is the brainchild of Branding and Social Media Expert Danny Brown.  The concept is very simple. Using social media the participants would raise $144,000 in 2009.  Each month a different charity would be the recipient of the funds raised. 

At this point, I’d just like to say that I’m not writing this with the intention of saying “Look at me! I’m so great!” (Hey, we all know I do that every day anyway…. plus, most of you already know how awesome I am since I tell you regularly, but I digress…) 

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.  ~Winston Churchill

Here’s why I’m writing this:  all I had to do was commit $10 a month. Seriously. $10. And of course, it would be nice if I could spread the word about the movement. So I said yes.  I can do $10.  Not hard to find.  A few less Tim Horton’s coffees.  A couple less beer, one less bottle of wine..  (ok, let’s not get ridiculous)…

The point I’m making is this.  I’m unemployed at the moment.  It’s $10. That’s all. If I can do it, so can you. Part of my reason for joining in is that I feel I haven’t done ENOUGH lately… and I figured I could use the good karma.  But whatever the reason, it’s a simple thing to do. $10 once a month. Easy. It’s just a little bit… but if everyone does a little bit, it will be a LOT.

This month’s charity is UNICEF.  So, what are you waiting for?  Go now! I’m not joking.  Click on the links! Donate! Honest, you’ll feel good.  www.12for12K.org  You can donate via credit card or by PayPal.

 Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.  ~Dr. Seuss

Life: Nothing to report other than I have already made my $10 donation!
Love: See above.
Pants: Lots of dog walking this week. Yay!

The famous Inside the Actor’s Studio Questionnaire

Inside the Actors Studio is a series on the Bravo cable television channel, hosted by James Lipton. While most of the show is a one-on-one interview conducted by Lipton, this is followed by the host submitting a questionnaire to the guest. The questionnaire concept was originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, after the Proust Questionnaire.
I got this from my lovely friend Kelly via FB but felt like doing it on the blog… You know the drill, fill it in, post it, tag your friends…someday they could be famous and actually on BRAVO taking the quiz inside the Actor’s Studio. Or not….

1) What turns you on?
Smart and Funny. I’d pick average looking dude with wicked smarts and sense of humour over washboard stomach boy any day of the week. However, if washboard stomach boy is also super funny and smart… well…

2) What turns you off?
Extreme arrogance. Cruelty. Rudeness. Violence.

3) What is your favorite word?
Laugh. I collect signs that say laugh.. so does my BFF Jodi. We are getting tattoos of the word on our wrists as a constant reminder. Sometimes it’s all you can do in order to not go crazy.

4) What is your least favorite word?
Stupid. My children were not allowed to say it growing up. Idiot. Anything that makes others feel bad.
as an aside… I have two friends who hate the word “panties”. And another friend who will retch if you say the word “caterpillar”. Not kidding. I haven’t any such strong feelings about any words.

5) What sound or noise do you love?
Sound of my own voice, obviously…. kidding. My children’s voices. The bass in a song. Laughter.

6) What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of screeching brakes and shattering glass. I’ve been in too many accidents.

7) What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Games show host. Writer. Millionaire.

8) What profession other than yours would you not want to attempt?
Politician . Accountant. Anything that involves sweating or cleaning up bodily fluids.

9) What is your favorite swear word?
F _ _ K . Specifically.. “F_ _KIN’ F_ _KERS”.

10) If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you as you enter the Pearly Gates?
Well, it was touch and go there for a while.. but.. you pulled it off.. best part is, Satan now owes me $50….

Life: No news
Love: The only boys who seem to like me live far away. LOL. I need to move or something..
Pants: Lost 4 pounds this week. However, that was after gaining a couple.. so doing OK.

Ya Gotta Have Friends…

“Friend – a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection and loyalty.” – Collins English Dictionary

I had the opportunity to get together with a friend this week… I had not seen her in months as we no longer live close.. she lives out of the country during the winter months…

Karen and I have been friends for about 12 years.. and we’ve been through a lot together.. tough times, moving, fiances, weddings, divorces, falling in love, falling out of love, laughter, tears and many, many bottles of wine. We spent the evening catching up on everything that had been happening in the last several months.. and once again there was laughter, a few tears.. and of course, the ever present wine.

I’ve had many friends over the years.. check my “friends list” on Facebook.. there are 834 at the present count. These are “friends” from grade school, high school, various jobs, the music industry, and various and sundry misadventures associated with all of them. I would consider everyone on my friend list a friend of some regard.. but when FB installed the friend categories.. I was a little stumped at how to “group” people (so I have not.. ) but this combined with my Karen visit got me thinking about the various friendships I have had over the years.

My first best friend was Julie. One day I just walked into her back yard while she was having a tea party with her mom and uncle. We became fast friends at the age of three.. had our first sleepovers together… played “wedding” (I was always the groom as I had short hair and she was the girly girl..)… first day of school together. We were BFFs until grade 3.. she went to that grade.. I went directly to grade four. The social hierarchy changed.. and I was now running with a different crowd.. interestingly, Julie became BFFs with my sister.. and they are still friends.

I have always had a lot of male friends.. not as many “girl” friends. The first friends I hung out with regularly were the neighbourhood boys.. Stevie, Brian, Mario and Marky. We would play “Flintstones” and climb trees and ride bikes and do cool stuff where you got dirty. I was more of a tomboy and preferred that to playing the groom in various wedding or house scenarios. But then again.. I skipped a grade and.. got new friends.

Through grades 4-8 and into high school I pretty much hung out with the same group of girls.. Bambi, Crystal, Trish and Starr (yes, real names..) But I always had different “groups” of friends.. there were always the male friends… the groups of girls.. the kids in band and math club.. different friends for different social situations… Grades 7/8 and into high school, Lynn was one of my best buddies.. Judy and I were friends all through grade school and beyond…

In high school there was a group of 11 girls… Bambi named us “The Natural Highs”.. each one of us had a flavour name.. Vanilla, Chocolate, Butterscotch.. etc.. I was Cinnamon. We hung out, partied… had fun. But I always felt not quite comfortable with “girl” friends.. just a certain element of competition I guess.

I preferred hanging out with the boys.. Craig, Tony, Mike and Joe. Sitting in Mike’s basement listening to CFNY and “punk”.. Elton Motello, the Pistols, Jane County and the Electric Chairs.. all the interesting music Mike’s older brother turned our way.. we had a lot of fun together. Plus, Craig was my boyfriend.. so the making out factor certainly weighed into the equation.

And of course, I must mention my spare period BFF and Hallway patrol partner Steve. We’d randomly stop younger kids asking to see their hall passes (we didn’t have them at our school).. just because we were silly. Stephen and I are still friends.. which makes me very happy.

In college I was inseparable from Avril.. we did everything together. Talked, partied, school work.. you name it.. we liked to spend time with Wayne, John and Paul.. roommates who lived in her building. And of course we hung out with people in our class.. Al, Tony, John… George .. (please notice I remember all the guys and not so much the girls…) Oddly, still keep in touch with a few people from college, but most weren’t in my class. Funny that. And through the magic of Facebook have had the pleasure of catching up and reconnecting with a few.

I’ve made friends wherever I’ve gone.. some good friends, some great friends.. some for the time being and some for what seems like forever. I have people still in my life that I’ve known for 25, 30 years or more.. there has to be a reason why I think. Some connection that just never goes away. I met my friend Mark when we were dating members of the same family.. those relationships broke up.. he and I wound up working together.. and through years and distance and everything else we somehow end up still staying in touch after more than 25 years. Crazy.

I just find it interesting thinking about what makes people friends.. and what KEEPS them friends. One of my best friends ever is named Ami. She and I became friends by happenstance.. she phoned my house one night for a business reason and I answered the phone by yelling into it “TURN ON CHANNEL THREE!! RANDY BACHMAN IS ON THE SIMPSONS!!” I can’t recall if I was just excited that I knew someone on the Simpsons or if I thought she was someone else.. We quickly became fast friends.. and I was even the maid of honour at her wedding. But, with moves.. and career changes and everything that happens in life.. we’ve drifted apart. Completely my fault I believe. One of my personal goals for the not too distant future will be to reconnect with Ami. I miss her a lot. (Please note that instead of procrastinating about this, I actually found her phone number and called her .. like.. just now. I got her machine and I left her a goofy message involving me singing a song about her, eating some ribs and other nonsense. I am not right in the head. You already knew that.)

I think sometimes many friendships are based on convenience.. whether or not you see those people regularly. I know that since I moved north, there are BFFs that I don’t hear from as often. And of course since my employment situation changed there are another whole bunch that I have not been as close to. It happens. But the people I consider my true friends are the ones who make the effort to keep in touch.. to touch base.. to see how you are. Mind you, I’ve had friendships that have “gone by the wayside” because of location, distance.. what have you.. One of my best friends in my 20’s .. Mona/Lisa (depending on how you know her..) and I have always attempted to keep in touch and often go years without seeing each other.. but we somehow pick up where we left off.

“Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.” – Aristotle

It’s only in my adult life that I’ve had good “girlfriends”.. women with whom I can commisserate about men, love, children, female crap… the whole kit and caboodle..

Kelly was my first “grown up” girl friend I think.. interestingly, she was the ex girlfriend of the man I married.. she was in my wedding party.. I love her to death. She lives in Singapore now and we’ve done the “drifting apart”.. another person who I’d like to see back in my life.

Jennifer and I met many years ago .. and ended up working together years later.. and quickly became best friends. She’s a combination of friend and surrogate daughter for me.. hence my title “the new mommy”. We’ve been through ridiculous amounts of fun and pain together .. and there are more adventures on the way I’m sure.. what with me moving.. and her having a baby and all.. even though we’re in different cities at the moment we still manage to stay connected.

Carmen and I met and became instant friends.. we talk often and somehow just have that “click” .. I guess you’d call it.. just immediate camraderie. We started calling each other BFF’s immediately .. and we really are.

Cathy and I met many years ago and our paths have crossed enough times that we figured out that we are likely meant to be friends for life. We’ve been there for each other enough times to know.

Interestingly, one of my best friends is also an “ex”.. Fernando and I were together for a few years and shared a lot.. split last year and it was tough. But now we are in a place where we really are best friends. Which makes me happy that we didn’t have to cut each other out of our lives.

The person I call my “heterosexual life partner”.. is my friend Jodi.. We met through work several years ago.. and coincidentally lived in the same neighbourhood.. and again, just one of those “clicks”. We will often joke that we wish one of us was a man, or we were both gay.. because then I’m certain we’d be spending our lives together .. and hence the “heterosexual life partner”.. we spend all major holidays together and this past Christmas renamed our unusual family unit “The Warrcrookens” – a combination of both our last names.. Jodi and I have had more than our share of misadventures. I believe this weekends’ involves liquor and tattoos. No, not kidding.

And I also have a huge group of what I call “virtual friends”.. people with whom I speak with literally every day but don’t see in person.. people who probably know more about me than people who see me in person regularly.. Evan.. Irvine..Kelly…. Michelle.. my new friend Kyle.. and a few others … people who I consider to also be great friends despite distance or lack of physical contact.

I guess the common thread with any friendship is stuff in common.. I know that with all of the friendships I cherish, its likely the easy ability to laugh..and of course love.. Laughter is my favourite thing in the world.. if you can make me laugh.. we’ll get along fine..

I have a plaque on my hallway wall that reads “A friend is a gift you give yourself”. It was a gift from Ami years ago. It fell at one point and broke but I glued it together again and put it back up. and I guess I kind of think of laughter and love as the glue that will hopefully put back together some of those neglected and broken friendships.. fingers crossed.

Life: Is in flux. Glad to have so many good friends to lean on during the tough times.
Love: I believe love is friendship on fire. I read that on a travel mug or bumper sticker somewhere. Yeah, its very uh.. mushy. LOL
Pants: Pretty much all of my friends wear pants. Just an FYI.