Tag Archives: blogging

I’ve Devolved into a Hairy Chested Shirtless Man. (or why I suck at dating…)

A few posts back, I promised I’d update on the LOVE section. Oy vey.  This is a sad sad tale, my friends.. get out the tissues.

Soooooo…… as anyone who reads my rantings knows, I’m not very successful in the “love” department.  Well, I have HAD successful relationships, don’t get me wrong.. but just haven’t had one for a while.  Many things have influenced this sad state of affairs.. I don’t meet a lot of men my own age, for one.. but, just haven’t met anyone I’m truly interested in…

But I digress.

Recently I had a few incidents that shed much light under the proverbial bushel known as my love life..  As you are likely aware, yes, I attempted the online dating again.  *Sigh*

not the actual guy.

Needless to say, there were some interesting characters responding to my ad. Many of whom could not string together a simple sentence (hint: use verbs).. or were just generally of no interest to me.

I did chat online with a few fellows.. but nothing really progressed beyond that.. I even met a couple..

On one occasion, I had been chatting online with one guy and we realized that we had mutual friends .. and we oft times frequented the same establishments.. and this one particular evening we both showed up for a local blues jam in town.  I was out with my daughter Katy, and her friend Lisa.. and he came over to say hi when he recognized me.

At first he seemed nice enough.. despite the entire wardrobe made of denim and matching scarf… but as the evening progressed and he consumed even more alcohol, he just became.. well… obnoxious.

Aside from telling us how great he was, he felt compelled to tell us about his workout regimen and then proceeded to practically remove his shirt in the bar so that we could properly admire his abs.  This was not a pleasant site, as it appeared that he was wearing a brown sweater. He was not. ‘Nuff said.  I’m sure in different circumstances he’s a very nice man, but seriously, dude.. trying far too hard.

On another occasion, I started conversing with another guy online who was quite intelligent and well spoken, and reasonably entertaining.  However, then he kind of freaked me out.  He Googled me.  He found out my last name, requested my Facebook friendship.. and started reading this blog.  (He and I discussed this, I’m no longer freaked out.. but it seemed slightly creepy at the time. Duh. I forgot that if you hit “view profile” on the MSN that you can then see someone’s last name, etc.. I’m pretty. I don’t have to be smart.)

Regardless, at the time I was a little… well, freaked.  I felt cyber stalked (although a friend of mine recently said that cyber stalking is this century’s version of staring across the bar… well, kinda, but without creeping ALL their photos…).

The whole online thing wasn’t all negative though.. I did meet a very nice guy and we hung out a few times. Until he … disappeared.  I assume he found someone he liked more.. all good, my feelings aren’t hurt. I hope he’s doing well.  And that he’d finish that stupid Scrabble game we started on Facebook. (Oh, maybe that’s it.. I was KILLING him.. )

I also met another nice guy online… one night, we exchanged a couple of emails and then on the spur of the moment decided to meet for a drink.

Now, I am generally a fairly cautious individual in this regard. I like to chat online for a while to determine whether or not there will be some inkling of camaraderie.. some indication of good conversation.. because you just never know when someone may turn out to be a serial killer. After all, THEY LOOK LIKE US.. have we learned NOTHING from Dexter????

This impetuous meeting of course made me somewhat nervous…. I had to rush to get ready as I hadn’t showered all day.. and then I had.. the pants emergency.

I could not find my pants. My “good jeans”. I have many pairs of jeans, but most are too big (Please see “pants” portion of blog)… I really only have a couple of pair that look good on me.. after 20 minutes of searching, I called my daughter. Yes, my pants were in Kitchener.

Awesome.

So.. I put on one of my many skirts.. and feeling far too dressed up, went to meet my date for the drink.

He was cute. Quite good looking as a matter of fact.  And funny.. intelligent.. quite charming.. we seemed to have lots to talk about and got along fairly well, I thought..

The establishment we were at was closing.. so we went to another to continue our conversation.. all in all it was quite a fun night.  At the end of our time together, there was the usual.. ok, we’ll have to do this again type thing…

The next day, I text’d him.. and he responded.. all good.  Then.. me being the friendly type of course sent another text with something I found amusing later in the week.. and.. then I had a link I thought he might be interested in.. so I found him (at least I think it was him…) on Facebook and sent it.. and then another text re: something funny.. you’re getting the picture here.

I realize that there was no huge “Love Connection” or anything.. but figured he was a cool guy and I was just sending stuff like I’d send to any friend.. had hoped we could be friends and stuff… but.. yeah. I’m sometimes a little too intense.

I was discussing the hairy shirtless guy and the “cyber stalker” with someone and how I had felt uncomfortable, etc. And suddenly realized…

I was a hairy shirtless cyber stalker. Oh, and texter. (that’s TEXTER not DEXTER)

Thinking back to our evening together.. I was nervous.   Anxious. And.. thinking about it now.. likely obnoxious. I talk too much (you already knew that..) I’m loud, brash.. sometimes politically incorrect…..

First of all.. I was way overdressed for the occasion and in retrospect likely looked like I was trying WAY too hard (mind you, I dress like this often, but for this visit to the pub… yikes… )  Plus, I think I was pretty much like one of those 8 year olds trying to impress the adults… “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! WATCH ME WHILE I DO A BACKFLIP OFF THE HIGHDIVE!!”

Fuck. I’ve officially become pathetisad. FML. Usually, I only let the crazy out in little bits. Not this time, as I recall….

Hell, I was awful at dating when I was a kid. I SUCK AT IT.  I suppose I could blame the various head injuries,  combined with nerves, alcohol and the hope that he wasn’t a serial killer, or worse yet, a Jehovah’s Witness.. but still.. Really?  Ugh.  I have become what I despise most.  Seemingly desperate.

On a normal, regular basis.. I’m pretty relaxed.. pretty easygoing.. most think I’m a pretty cool chick (either that or they’re just humouring me.. wouldn’t be the first time I’m sure…)  I tend to have a self deprecating sense of humour and a healthy sense of the absurd combined with an overabundance of ironic wit and sarcasm.. Which, perhaps some don’t enjoy… but.. that’s who I am.  Only I was MORE SO on this particular occasion, methinks.  Apparently it’s because I’m an Aries..

Women born under this sign typically are more aggressive and forceful in getting the things that they want. Because of that, they can sometimes have problems in their romantic relationships. An Aries women is forever in the search for a ’real man’ who will be able to handle her. (or perhaps that should say “put up with me”.. LOL)

Regardless, I’m a “live and learn” type person.. everything happens for a reason, I’m wont to say.. So, I learned something.  Be myself.. stop overtrying.. stop texting the poor guy… oh, and wax my hairy, cyber stalking chest.

There may be plenty of fish.. but I think I’m out of the pond for a while.. 😉

Life: Things are good otherwise.
Love: Did you not READ the post?
Pants: I wore a skirt. See above.

Good Fish, Bad Fish

Pisces is the 12th sign of the Zodiac and is represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions. The two fish symbolize the internal struggle of the soul within a Pisces. Often, the fish are swimming away from each other in a circle representing life after death or reincarnation. Pisces is considered a feminine or negative sign. Feminine signs are considered more passive, receptive and sensitive than masculine/positive signs.

Pisces .. the fish..

Pisces are sensitive, humane and often idealistic. People born under this sign react emotionally to everything making them compassionate and sensitive to those around them. Rather than taking an analytical approach to life, pisces react to the feelings of others and as a result can be very influential when they choose to be. In the right situaltion a Pisces can be capable of incredible deeds. The positive nature of a Pisces and the fact that they are tuned into the feelings of others makes them socially popular.
No, I have not turned this  into a Horoscope site.

I have many Pisces in my life.. always have.. somehow I am drawn to the fish.. or related to them..   However, in this particular post I wanted to address three fish who happen to be having birthdays within the same week.. three people who are very important in my life..

My sister Lara celebrates her birthday on February 24th.. as that is the day that she was born. Lara is four years younger than me and we’ve generally always gotten along.  She is a lovely, kind, wonderful and attractive person.. She’s a great wife to her husband Joe and the amazing mother to three funny, intelligent and well behaved children.  She’s a marathon runner and an Occupational Therapist in her business life.  She’s pretty and smart and does NOT look like she’s had three children. For that, I am envious, however, she is a runner and I am relatively lazy. LOL.

I can remember being about 7 or 8 and Lara went “missing”.. My other sister Barb and I went to all the neighbours looking for her and came home crying when we couldn’t find her.  She was in the basement the entire time playing quietly and no one thought to look there. I remember a picture of Lara one Christmas when she was very young.. she looked like a doll sitting on a tiny couch.  She was an exceptionally pretty child with lovely blonde hair.

When Lara was about 17, she and her 2 friends and I made a trip to Niagara Falls and stayed in a hotel.  It was a tremendously fun trip… To this day, we’ve maintained that we went to wax museums and tourist attractions (well, we DID go to the Falls..) when in reality there was, perhaps, some underaged drinking in bars across the US border.  I’m 45. I think it’s a little late for my mother to ground me. I hope.

Lara and I have not lived in the same city for many years and I regret the fact that we are not closer.  I love her sense of humour, her desire to always make other people happy.. her willingness to help others whenever possible.. her giant heart and her sensitivity and compassion for everyone around her.  I think perhaps for her birthday I might like to actually spend some time alone with her. Oh wait.. that’s more of a gift for me than it is for her… LOL

Jennifer’s birthday is February 25th.  She calls me “the new mommy”.  This stems from 2 incidents.. one being an occasion when she was dating a young man and she discovered that he had a toddler… He became indignant when we were in the Santa Claus parade and he felt she hadn’t paid enough attention to his daughter.  My response was “what the hell were you supposed to do? Jump off the fuckin’ float, pick her up and swing her in the air and scream “I’M YOUR NEW MOMMY! I’M YOUR NEW MOMMY!!” ?”  Shortly after this, Jenn revealed that her dad had a tiny crush on me and we then proceeded to discuss that if I WERE to marry her father, I would be HER new mommy.. but I wouldn’t be picking her up or swinging her around..

Jennifer recently became a mother .. to the very beautiful Ayson.  She’s a natural mother.  And, as the “new mommy”.. my status has been upgraded to “new grandma”.. kinda.. I’m not wearing any orthopedic shoes anytime soon (no offence, Mother.)

Jenn and I have had many many adventures.. nearly being killed by a giant truck on Hwy 93 in Orr Lake… various concerts, misadventures at the Stampede Corral.. Oktoberfesting.. wine, crying, laughing, boy trouble, many secrets.. .. but mostly laughing.   I cherish her friendship.

Katy was born on February 20, 1990 and turned 20 this year.  It was a bit of a tough birthday for her as she had a lot of ups and downs during her birthday week.. But I can safely say that things are on the upswing.  I wrote a very long blog about my beautiful daughter last year on her birthday which you can read if you like.

Katy is smart and beautiful and funny.  She is everything a mother could hope for in a daughter.  She’s also one of my best friends.  And she deserves everything good in life. I know she’ll get it.

All three of these wonderful women are beautiful, talented, smart, funny, sensitive, passionate, empathetic and just amazing.   I am absolutely blessed to have them in my life.  I thank the Universe for them.  I am happy and grateful for their love.

Happy Birthday Lara.  Happy Birthday Jenn.  And Happy Birthday Katy.  I hope this is the best year yet.

Oh, the Good Fish/Bad Fish?  This is how Jenn describes Pisces… part good.. and a little part bad.. or maybe the better word is adventurous…  All I know is, I pretty much only see the good.  I love you all. Happy Birthday.

Life: An adventure every day!
Love: There’s a lot in my life.
Pants: I think I need to get some new ones.

Birds of A Feather..

Those who know me, know I’m a big fan of the social media.  I enjoyed the MySpace, then moved on to the Facebook.. I also enjoy MSN on a very regular basis.. and in the last year or so became a “Twitterer”.  Yes, I tweet. Often. Sometimes with disregard to others. That is usually when I’ve had a couple bevvies, mind you… but I digress..

I rarely use fuckin’ profanity on the Twitter. Why? Well.. some business type folks (and some clergy, go figure..) follow me and I don’t want to be horribly offensive.. after all, that’s what the blog is for.. regardless…

For those of you who don’t “tweet” I felt compelled to share some of my ramblings.. just some highlights.. (yes yes this is another way of saying that I’ve been lazy…….. so sue me.)


I refer to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day”    2:04 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck

@steffer1 perhaps we should organize a tweetup for all our single friends…. LOL Everyone wears black.    2:16 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck  in reply to steffer1

Another day, another Facebook friend request from someone I don’t know… *delete*    10:27 AM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Annoyed. Had a parking ticket for parking where I was told to park. Yeah, we’ll be fighting this.    12:41 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Sooooo… just why would anyone WANT their own Nick Lachey? #daytimetvsucks    1:56 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

@meggroff and here I thought you were just going to continue with “pantless day” and “do resumes drunk day”    9:58 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff my fave part of your resume is where you listed “kickin’ it old skool” & “pounding back a 40 w/ my homies” under “special skillz”    10:22 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff Perhaps if you offered to share. Just sayin’. Or maybe if you took “stickin’ it to the man” out from under “hobbies”    10:55 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

Frosted flakes are pretty delicious.    12:34 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

Dear @billgates my MSN is not working. Please fix it. Thankssomuch. Love, Beth    7:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

hint: if you have the “let people know what I’m listening to” thing on your msn.. make sure that it doesn’t show Demi Lovato if you are 40    9:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

i wish I had crackers    9:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I was wondering if I’d ever marry again. I will marry again if it’s legal to marry food product in ON. I LOVE YOU MELTED CHEESE!    10:04 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

do you ever wanna just slide your fingers one space over so that people think you are typing in another language?    10:06 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

GWT AI GIQ;A UA FIUBF U RGUBJF TIY EIXJ    10:07 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

@SarahRobinson it was delicious. I love food. Can I legally marry food? or Ikea?    10:11 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@SarahRobinson I can hardly wait to be Mrs Grilled Cheese. now the break up btwn me and the Hamburglar makes sense…..    10:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@JamesAWoods @SarahRobinson I’ve been to Texas. Love it. they have beef and large things. I’m in ..   10:20 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to JamesAWoods

I’m going to bed. Mocha the wonderdog is going with me. so she will not be answering any DMs    10:44 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I’m really hoping @badwebsites is working out right now.. need him to be all buff for the reunion. Oh. It’s in May.. not June.    1:38 AM Feb 6th   via TweetDeck

Booooo. Worst part about the SuperBowl is that we don’t get to see the cool commercials. #OhCanada    8:12 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

I would be really interested to see if hits dropped significantly on Porn sites during the SuperBowl. #justsayin    9:46 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

@tw_i_tt_e_r Unfortunately, I’ve made a habit of dating men with bad hair. Last guy looked like a homeless dude….    7:18 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck  in reply to tw_i_tt_e_r

“Mom, I know your heart is black and cold, but quit making fun of people just trying to find love”.. DD to me Re: the Bachelor …    8:54 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Hey! Baby mamas on Maury!! Here’s a thought… birth control! THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO CHASE THESE GUYS DOWN… #justsayin    9:04 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Maury should give out giants gift baskets of condoms to the guys on his show….    9:09 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck


Guten morgan. (Feeling kinda German being in the K-dub and all….)    7:57 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I love it when you get an unexpected call from someone you love and haven’t talked to ages… #sofartodayisexcellent    9:17 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

Today: ass kicking, soup making, build-a-bear, work, coffee drinking, more ass kicking, chat with the HS Vice Principal…. I need a drink.    5:52 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… you can put Montreal Steak Spice on ANYTHING and it makes it good…    6:46 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve decided to become a crazy cat lady… I got the crazy part down..     4:25 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

Got myself a free steak dinner. It was not hot, but free.    8:18 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

I apparently have coined a new phrase “I will fist bump you in the face”.. all the kids are saying it…    1:29 PM Feb 12th   via TweetDeck

Although I appreciate short forms, if you msn or text me and use ALL of them, I think you are illiterate. #justsayin    11:30 PM Feb 13th   via TweetDeck

Unlike the rest of you, I am celebrating “Singles Awareness Day”….    10:44 AM Feb 14th   via TweetDeck

@badwebsites LOL .. no flowers, the only chocolate I got was “free with purchase” at Victoria’s Secret.. however, I did get some VD beer…    7:21 PM Feb 15th   via TweetDeck  in reply to badwebsites

Does it count if you give up abstinence for Lent?    4:51 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

DD making a pic of me on the computer. Son says “you look like a 5 star hooker”. Apparently it was a compliment….    7:08 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

Yes, I know. “Way to cut and paste!” Well, if you want the live action .. follow me on Twitter. @beth_warren.  I’m reasonably amusing.

Life: All good
Love: Move along. Nothing to see here (YES, there will be a dating update soon. Promise)
Pants: I really want to make a reference to “pants on the ground” but that’s Sooooooo over

Rumour has It…

Walking through the line at the grocery store I can’t help but be drawn to the magazines at the checkout..

You see all the celebrities and all their problems and stuff on the headlines of the mags, and you can’t help but wonder what is fact and what’s fiction..

Obviously, the REFUSING TO EAT headline is not about me..

Are Brad and Angelina DONE?

Is Brittany back on whatever the heck she was on? Is she CRAZZZZZZZY?

What about those poor Gosselin kids? Oprah’s weight? Nicole Richie’s weight? And what the heck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan? (other than the drugs and alcohol. Oh, and the crazy..)

Whatever.  Like I care. Yes, some rumours are based in truth… but seriously. Why on earth do people really care?

Because it gives them something to talk about other than their own mundane lives.

Which leads me to…….. rumours that I’ve run across about me in the last year through various sources…

Let me set ya straight..

1 – That I had moved to Nashville.  – Based in fact, but not quite true – Well.. yes, I talked to someone about possibly working with a company in Nashville, however it became painfully obvious that dude was not tremendously interested in my brain, but more so everything below it. Needless to say that once he sent me some “personal photos” I realized that this would not be a stellar career move. ‘Nuff said.

2 – That I was taking a gig in Florida.  – Partially true – I was offered a job working for a rap music label in Florida.  A lovely young “gangsta” offered me the gig as he “likes to surround himself with white people as the homies will rip you off.”  This did not happen for a variety of reasons.  Suffice to say that I hate rap music.

3 – Joining the UFC. – Based in fact – Ok, I just wrestled with some chick in a bar on a dare for some free drinks. Okay. That’s not true either. I made the whole thing up cuz I thought it sounded cool.

4 – I was getting engaged and moving out west.  – Based in fact – I was enraged at one point. And I was thinking of taking a trip to Edmonton to visit a friend. Does that count?

5 – Spent time in rehab. – False – Rehab is for quitters.

6 – I found Jesus – True – He was under the couch cushion with the remote.

7 – I was moving to KW – True. Sorta – Well,  I moved to St. Catharines and technically still live there. But I’m planning on moving to the K-dub ASAP.

8 – I’m pregnant. John Mayer is the father. – SO TOTALLY FALSE  – do you not read the blog?  And the closest I ever came to Mayer was sitting in his ass print once after Fernando worked with him one time and had to drive him around.

9 – I’m anorexic. – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Really? Really? LMAO

10 – I’m working on a plan for world domination. – True – Still finalizing my evil plot.

Life: Going well..
Love: Nothing to see here
Pants: Yeah, I got some.

New Beginnings

I’m not a sharer.

I know it seems strange for me to say that considering I’ve spent the last year chronicling my life on the internet.  But I’m really not.

I’m an excellent actress. Far more than most realize. Despite my outward appearance of joviality, I don’t share my feelings with many.. and not often. I sometimes push all my bad feelings down so that no one knows there are there except for me…. putting on the face of a permanently happy girl.  And to tell the truth, I am more happy than not.. but.. I’m babbling now…

photo by Heather Meyers Photography

What brought this on, you ask?  New Year’s Eve.  It is one of my least favourite holidays of the year.

It’s always been somewhat depressing for me.. it’s the end of Christmas, after all.  Time to leave that magical time behind, take down the tree and head back to work or school or what have you.  Depressing as all fuck.

I’ve never been one to revel in Auld Lang Syne and kiss a bunch of strangers…

I mean, I’ve had some good New Year’s Eves.. as a kid I remember trying to stay up till midnight and watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and dancing around.. as a teen there were a few parties.. as an adult, I often worked the night.  For years I DJ’d at the Owen Sound Greys Hockey dance… it was actually quite fun. My husband (at the time) Jamie and I would go up there.. I’d play tunes.. we’d dance… have some food and enjoy ourselves.

The big Y2K New Year’s was spent in Marathon, Ontario. It’s north.. very north.. near Thunder Bay. Hey, if the world’s going to end, might as well be in God’s country, right?  No, actually, Jamie was gigging .. what was supposed to be a huge party turned into about 40 people as many stayed home.. afraid of the impending doom.  We still had a great time..  afterward all of us went back to our hotel.. we were the ONLY people staying there.. not even any staff!! They just left the door of the Best Western open for us.. we stayed up a bit, had some drinks and had a blast.

A couple of years ago we just stayed home.. me, Katy and Josh, BFF Jodi, Alyssa (Katy’s BFF) and Katy’s boyfriend at the time.. we karaoke’d.. had some drinks and decided to go out and slide on the ice rink next door.. much hilarity ensued, as did some somewhat embarrassing photos (“we were outside?” said Jodi….) and soaked clothing from falling in the snow.. but it was fun.

However, most years I choose to lay low.. I’ve tried to go to the bar or the dance or what have you, but I find it a downer.

Which brings me to the sharing part..

Last year was the worst New Year’s of my life.  And unfortunately I let that colour much of the year.

I don’t want to go into detail… I’m saving that for the book, after all.. more on that later… but suffice to say, I was assaulted.  I’m fine. Really.  Finally.  Justice has been served. It’s all good. And no, other than that, I don’t want to talk about it.  It seemed a rather cruel joke by the Universe seeing as I had just suffered a year of moving, lost love and losing my job.  The ultimate capper to a horrible year.

Unfortunately, after this happened, I shut down and spent the better part of a month hiding in my house.  It was what I needed to do at the time.  Several very close and good friends helped me through it.  But it still affected me.  Of course.  I lost a lot of self confidence, self worth…. and chose to deal with it in not very constructive ways.. usually involving wine and crying.

However, the point of this is to not make everyone feel sorry for me.. because they shouldn’t.  I told you already.. It’s all good.

The point of this is that although it took me many months, I finally started turning things around.

This past year wasn’t a banner year.  But there were a lot of very good things that happened.  I made a lot of new friends.. many of them through social media channels.  I finally realized that what I want to be when I grow up .. is a writer.  I started writing a book.. not done yet.. but soon.  I reconnected with many people from my past who meant a lot to me.. Avril.. Wayne.. many many from high school…

Lost some people from my life as well.. some died.. some… I had to remove from my life for self preservation.

I fell in love this year.  No, I’m not telling you with whom.  But it didn’t.. and won’t.. work out.  He knows. And he loves me too and remains an important part of my life.  So it’s still a good thing.

I saw many concerts.. AC/DC, Bob Dylan, Springsteen.. to name a few.. things on the bucket list.. I had many people who loved me help me when things were really not good.. Jodi, Trevor.. my family.. even my ex-husband Jamie has been a wealth of support and friendship.  Yes, we are an unusual pair.

Despite the pain, I had a lot of laughter.  Many good times with friends.  I loved and enjoyed them all.

I did actually accomplish a few of my resolutions from last year.. so I believe that to be progress.  I’ve recently started an exciting new career adventure.. And my children continue to amuse me, amaze me and provide me with unconditional love.  They are two of the finest people I know.

What started so horribly has turned out quite well I think.  I can honestly say that I am actually happy … that’s taken me a long time to accomplish, truthfully.  But I am.  There’s always room for more happiness though.. and more laughter..  And I’ve learned the past helps shape who you are, but does not control your future.

My best Christmas gift this year was a card. It was from my parents.  In summary, it was to tell me how proud they are of me and how strong I am.  Best gift ever.

I’m actually looking forward to this New Year’s Eve. I am spending it surrounded by people I care about and who care about me.  It will be low key and quiet.  Which is just fine.

So if you are reading this.. you likely have affected my life whether you know it or not.  Thank you for being a part of my journey.  Thank you for being there for me.. you mean a lot to me..   My wish for you for 2010 is love, peace, happiness, contentment and much joy and laughter.

And I wish that for me, too.

Because 2010 is my year for a new beginning.  It’s the year of the Tiger. I’m going to grab the tiger by the tail…

Life: All good.
Love: I love you all very much.
Pants: Yes, I will be wearing pants this evening. Thanks for asking..

My First Boyfriend..

I received some very sad news yesterday.. a childhood friend had died.

Let me preface this by saying that there appears to have been many deaths in the last year.. but, after all, death is a part of life.  I’m at that age. *sigh* Forty freakin’ five after all.

But.. not intending this to be a sad post.

Stevie Gillie (as I knew him most of my life..) lived a court over. I lived in a court that had a little pathway between the next court.. he lived on the street at the end. On Robroy Ave.

Due to the close proximity (it was the 60’s.. yes I’m old.. and I was a wanderer as a child.) Somehow we became friends before kindergarten.  He was five days younger than me.

Stevie, Brian Larson and I hung out.. played .. and had fun. Stevie had a tree house. In that tree house were Playboy magazines which he stole from his Dad.. comic books…among other things.. Like, licorice. We’d ride our bikes up to Gold Door, the local variety store and I would spend all the money I had on string licorice, pop rocks, fun dip, mojos and the like and we’d take it back to the treehouse, read comics and pig out.

Memories of Stevie Gillie… holy. He was my first “boyfriend”.. we were five. He gave me a ring from a gum machine and told me he wanted to marry me. Mind you, previous to this he had wanted to marry Julie Deumo .. a “girly girl” (no offence Julie..) but she had long hair, wore dresses and didn’t like to get dirty.  I played dinky cars, had a bowl cut and could beat the crap out of any boy in the neighbourhood. Sorry. I’m still proud of that.  And, given the right motivation.. I still could.

His mom told him that I was a “better catch” than the “pretty” girls because I was fun and had a good personality (hopefully that doesn’t mean she thought I was ugly. LOL). I always remember him telling me that.

For my sixth birthday .. he gave me a tambourine. I have a picture of me with it.. but it’s in a storage unit in Cambridge.. I’m in a red velvet dress with a lace collar that my mom made… paper crown on my head, holding up my tambourine as if I’m a gypsy and Stevie is watching me…

I remember hanging in his basement listening to Frank Zappa and Cheech and Chong (he had an older sister.. yes.. totally inappropriate for younguns).. “DAVE’S NOT HERE!”… we were young and we still kinda got it.

He had hamsters. They creeped me out at the time.. maybe they were gerbils…

One time he and Brian and I dared each other to streak (thank you Ray Stevens..)  We hid in the bushes in his front yard.. took off our bathing suits..  and would take turns running through the yard (it was not a big yard.) Yeah.   We got caught. And all got grounded.

Stevie and Brian and I would play “Flintstones”.. we had these crazy pillars at the each end of the path between the courts.. a couple were falling apart. So we’d bang rocks together and we’d fight over who got to be Fred (did I tell you I was a Tomboy?)

Stevie, Brian and I got in a lot of trouble together.. but it was fun. I vividly remember playing “dinky cars” (most people call them hotwheels now, but I’m old) at Bryan’s house.. in sand…

Another time, Brian was getting beat up by a neighbourhood boy.. Walter (who apparently later went to jail, so he likely deserved this..) on Stevie’s front lawn. I jumped on Walters back and pulled out hunks of his hair till he got off Brian.. then I RAN home.. Walter never retaliated thankfully.. he was a lot bigger than me.

Steve always knew when it was time for him to go home because his father would come outside and emit this very loud whistle.  As someone who’s never learned to do the “hockey whistle” (apparently this is a thing they teach you at hockey camp…) I am envious of those who can do this.. but I digress..

Hi dad would come outside and whistle.. LOUDLY .. I’m not sure I can describe it in words, but at this moment, I can still hear it in my head.. “ooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo”  I am really not sure how to type out a whistle.. Long, lower register note, long higher register note.. long lower register note.

Stevie knew that if he didn’t get home in a timely manner, he’d be in HUGE trouble. As I recall, his dad was not a man to trifle with.. LOL. I’m sure that this had to do with Steve being the youngest of five… wouldn’t your patience be a little worn by then?

He was a very good friend to me when we were young.. he stuck up for me, stuck by me.. another time 2 boys from “outside the hood” cornered the aforementioned Julie and I in the “prickle bushes” … Steve came along and got angry at them for picking on his friends.. and they ran away.

Oh!! this is a bad story.. when we were, of course, five.. Steve and I were playing with another boy in the neighbourhood.. Markie. (please note that in the Hammer, all young boys names had to end in “ie”.. some sort of city ordinance methinks)

Stevie and Markie pissed me right off and I went home. They followed me to try to placate me .. or perhaps tease me.. can’t recall.. so.. they wouldn’t leave. AND they were STANDING ON MY FENCE!!! (we had a white picket fence across the end of the driveway, yes, it was the 60s.)  So, I went into the house and brought out one of my dad’s shotguns. Thank freakin’ God, Jesus, Allah and Buddha.. my father never kept ammo in the house.

I was like one of the Beverly Hillbillies telling them to get off my land. They laughed at me. Then they left. I am eternally grateful that that instance did not end in tragedy.

When we were older, we’d play crazy hide and seek games that spanned several blocks… good times.

Grade 3. I skipped.. so. Dynamics change. You hang out with different people. Stevie and I were still friends.. but we didn’t hang out as much anymore.

One time Brian’s family was having a party and Stevie, Brian and I hung out in the court and drank Coke with aspirin because older kids told us it would make you high.. yeah, not so much.

Long story short (that is a warning that it may not get shorter..)  we didn’t see each other much in high school.  We’d say hi and all but.. we hung out with different people.

After a while, we lost touch.  Only reconnected about 6 months ago on Facebook.  We used the chat feature to catch up with one another.. he was going through a separation, had 3 great kids and had been living in British Columbia for years.  It was great getting to know him again.

And then last Friday, he died of a heart attack. Poor guy.

At least we reconnected and shared some great stories.  He was an important part of my childhood.  But he’s left many people with a lot of great memories.  He was a good guy. And for a 5 year old, he was a pretty good boyfriend. In fact, few have been able to measure up to him.

Goodbye Stevie Gillie. You’ll be missed.

Sign, Sign.. Everywhere a Sign..

I’m a great believer in “signs”.

In all seriousness.. there are times when I am pondering something.. a problem, a situation… and I will ask the Universe to send me a sign.  It could be a song on the radio.. an object.. or a literal sign.. like a poster or something.

I’ve seriously had situations where I’ve say, been thinking about a personal situation and asked for an indicator.. and suddenly, in front of me,  the person I’m thinking about’s name plastered on the side of a truck or something.

Or I’ll be in the car and worried and ask for a song as a sign that perhaps I shouldn’t give up hope.. or something to point me in the right direction.. and a specific song will come on..

Now, I have some friends who mock me for this.. and they can all they want.. their prerogative and all.. and yes, I’m a little crazy (but hey, I just let the crazy out in little bits…) But, with the songs for example, I will “ask” for very specific songs, or a particular artist.  Recently I was pondering something and a “special” song came on the radio.. it’s an album cut so it’s not likely to be heard often.

Within a couple of days I heard that song.. ON THE RADIO.. 3 times.  And on different stations. Very odd indeed.

I’ve also found random objects.. and of course, there’s my license plate obsession.

On more than one occasion I’ve been driving along and asked for a “sign”.. and then run across a license plate that held a special message for me… One day I went to a mall that I don’t usually frequent.. thinking about a problem.. and in my head asking for a sign/solution/guidance… what have you.. I pulled into a random parking space .. and the car in front of me had the license plate UNSTUCK. Well, that word speaks to me.. I’ve had many discussions with a couple of friends about being “Stuck”.. not being able to move forward in some areas of life.. and we all agree it’s up to the individual to get themselves “UNSTUCK”.. I have taken that as a sign to get my ass moving…

I was out for a walk the other day and came to a realization about a situation.. right afterward, a car drove by with the license plate “EPIPHANY”. Like, seriously, what are the chances?

So.. keeping this in mind..

My daughter and I see this one guy EVERYWHERE.  He has a pretty distinctive “look”.. earrings, a goatee, wears a hat.. usually dressed in black.. looks like a band guy.

We first ran into him at a bar downtown.. then we’d see him at another place we’d pop into on occasion.. then riding his bike (yes, I realize that if people kinda live in the same area, you’re bound to run into one another.. but still..).. then another place we went for dinner.. and another and another.

Katy and I stopped for a beer at Ethel’s on Friday night.. and in he walks… sits right behind us with his book and his beer.. and sat there reading.  I was seriously contemplating that perhaps he was stalking.. I mean, how often do you run into the same person over and over?

A couple nights later, we decided to pop into the Boathouse for a pint… we’re sitting there and in he walks again!! This was getting a little too weird..   Katy, (please note that there was some liquid courage involved).. decides that THIS IS A SIGN. Maybe, we are supposed to be friends with this dude.. maybe he’s super cool and we should hang with him…????

We watched him head out for a smoke and she decided we should follow him.. he was with a couple of other people.. so she waited for a break in the conversation ….  She said hi, introduced herself and explained that we keep seeing him all over town.. he replied that yes, he’d noticed us too.. particularly a few nights earlier at Ethel’s… he was apparently admiring my jacket.

We then proceeded to have an incredibly inane conversation.  Ok, I’m being harsh. But.. yeah, dude was no where near as cool as we had built him up to be.. he had the look going on, but he was pretty boring and monosyllabic.  He wasn’t a musician (I can’t remember what he said he did..) seemed nice enough.. but.. whattayagonnado…?  The conversation was not scintillating. We were kind of disappointed, to tell the truth.

As we left that night, Katy exclaimed “YEAH. That TOTALLY was not a sign! Plus, now when we see him we might have to hang with him…” LMAO.  Well, at least we made a new beer buddy.

As for my signs.. I’ll stick to hearing them on the radio… 😉

Life: Things are going well… thanks for asking
Love: My horoscope claims that things are going to “heat up”.. .hmmm
Pants: I hope I get new pants for Christmas as pretty much every pair I own are too big. I’m not complaining though…