Tag Archives: BFF

this is why, this is why.. i suck

Well.

It’s been a while.  I know. ugh. Nearly over three months.

oy vey.

Here’s the thing….

I started a bunch of posts and didn’t finish them because …… well…. some excuse.

A lot has been going on.  Like, LOTS.

Tons. Oodles. Many adventures.

So, you would think I would be writing all this stuff down, now, wouldn’t ya?  Well, apparently not.

One thing I did not do over the last 3 months is watch or read anything Twilight. I know nothing about it other than it's about vampires and girly stuff or something.

But let me brief you on what’s been going down.. then .. I will go back, finish the posts I started, and then all will be right with the world. Good times all around, my friends. Oh yes, we’ll get jiggy with it.

Things that have happened and that I will expound upon.. in no particular order…

  • I had a birthday. On that birthday I moved my stuff out of BFF Jodi’s house and into a garage in KW.
  • I went to California. It was cool. No, literally. It was April. It was about the same temperature in KW as in Cali.   Also, I saw a lot of relatives in Cali and a portrait of Arnold Schwarzenegger made of Skittles. It did not change my life in any way and I had actually completely forgotten about it until this moment.
  • My car got crashed.  Not good.
  • Got back from California. Moved the next morning into my new place in the K-dub.  Unpacked et al within days.
  • Started a new super cool gig.
  • Had a party.
  • Got a new car.
  • went to my high school reunion.
  • Proved bench advertising works.
  • Didn’t write blogs. (you already knew that)
  • Discovered a cure for the common cold. Got drunk to celebrate. Accidentally threw out the answer. Back to the drawing board.
  • Then, of course,  some random stuff that I will think of as I start spewing stuff onto the computer screen  ( I know, not the best visual there.. see? out of practice….)

So, my apologies to those of you that have actually checked to see if I’ve written some stuff.. yes, you.. Stacey Thompson-Delorme.. Michelle Walker and of COURSE, Tracy Lennon…  I shall attempt to be more consistent…. as in, the consistency of rice pudding… oh, but I digress.

So yeah, I’ve been sucking.  But I’m making an attempt to make amends.  Please forgive me. (insert tearful weepy face here… preferably of a really cute sad child… that’d make ya well up…)

K. If I’m going to get caught up, I better get moving. Await the avalanche.

Life: Good. Very good.
Love: Love the new place. (see how I got out of answering that directly? Ohhhh I’m sneaky..)
Pants: I’m wearing some. That’s all you need to know for now.
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It’s my birthday too! YEAH!

They say it’s your birthday
It’s my birthday too, yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time

Princess Birthday Party a few years ago. Yeah. I rock the tiara..

I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you

Birthday – The Beatles (Lennon/McCartney)

Holy crap.. what a difference a year makes!

Last year… Still stuck in Barrie, trying to sell my house.. SNOWED on my birthday.. overall not one of the BEST birthdays ever (Read about it here … strictly for comparison’s sake..)

And as much as I was attempting to see the good in everything.. people who love me, yadda yadda.. silver linings.. blah blah blah.. (I jest..) It was still slightly depressing… not gonna lie.

Katy and I hung out and it was nice.. but.. at the time… no gig.. and not much else was going on either.
So.. skip ahead a year.

Today, I spent my birthday moving.. not entirely.. but some.  I moved all my things out of BFF Jodi’s house in St. Catharine’s and to my NEW PLACE in Kitchener! (Conveniently located pretty much across the street from the ex husband/kid’s house.. it’s cool.. we’re friends..) I haven’t quite moved in yet.. not till I get back from my trip.. to freakin’ California!!!

SO. I’m sure you now require explanation.

NEW PLACE!!!

In January, my sister Barb asked if I’d be interested and able to go with her to California in April.. .and it was a sweet deal.. so I said yes. In the meantime.. I’ve been doing some contract work for a company in Kitchener which has led to me spending more time there.. (and finding excuses to hang out… not gonna lie… I love the town. Oh, and my kids. Most days anyway…)

Then.. a few weeks ago.. just was checking out online some places in town.. and found a place right near my ex and the kids.. it all just FIT.

THEN.. the company I was doing work for.. asked me to come on full time!
It’s INSANE, really…

To summarize:

Today is my birthday. I moved my things from St. Catharine’s to Kitchener to my new place until I get back.

Tomorrow.. Barb and I are off to San Francisco where we will visit our aunts, uncles and cousins.. drink wine.. ride electric bikes (Yes, there are SO cool, Lara!)  take a boat tour and do many other exciting adventuresome things..

We fly back late on the 16th… and early the 17th I’ll head back to the K-dub.. because…. All my stuff that has been in storage for months will be delivered and FINALLY I will have my own place again.  Sleeping in my own bed every night is something I totally look forward to.

Then.. Monday, April 19th.. my first official day. I am the Social Media Manager for Waters Denison Internet Group.  I map out social media strategy for various clients based on where relevant conversations are happening on the internet.. then I implement said strategy.

Which means.. I Twitter and Facebook for a living. Seriously. (Okay, that’s simplifying it, but still.. WHO better suited to this gig? Really? Yeah that’s right, me… chick who updates her FB status from her physical/church/jail or wherever I happen to be… (but never the washroom. That’s just gross)

Therefore, on this birthday.. Yeah, I’m now forty fuckin’ six.. but it’s awesome. New digs back in the Kdub.. new gig… which I LOVE.. back with friends, kids, family.. AND I’m going to California to celebrate!!

However.. still no love life. Hence, still something to complain about.. 😉

Oh, and since I didn’t have a real chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends…. we’ll do that at the Housewarming party April 24th…

Life: Loving it!
Love: I am loving life… No boys. But… maybe that’s next on my karmic list? Who knows??!
Pants: Okay.. there’s been some slacking.. so maybe Barb and I should take real bikes instead of electric.. LOL

p.s. stay tuned for updates from California..




All Dogs Go to Heaven

Barley died on March 25th. I have struggled to write this.

=======================

I lost one of my best friends today.

Barley the WonderDog is gone.

Barley had to have surgery in November for a weird thing on his ear.. and he hadn’t been completely right ever since.

Barley.. first visit to the vet... Nov 9/99

He stopped eating. And this week, couldn’t walk anymore.  He fell down the stairs.  He stopped wanting to walk very far a few weeks ago.. we just thought he was arthritic. We bought him special food.. it didn’t work.

January 4, 1999 I had to take my cat Spooky to be put down. He was nearly 15 .. very sick.. and it was time.

I’m a pet person. Honestly.. I don’t trust people who do not like animals.

I’ve had fish, cats and dogs.. the son has also had some rodents (not my fave..)

But I digress.

Barley Warren was the best dog ever.

After Spooky died, I wanted another pet.  Honestly.. I don’t trust people who don’t like animals. (I’m repeating myself I know…)  I think everyone should have some kind of pet at one point.

And so I got Barley.

November 5th. 1999. Josh and Katy had a PD day.

I had been looking  in the classifieds for a dog. Specifically.. a border collie. Jamie (the ex husband) loved border collies. I wanted a dog. You get the picture….

The kids and I went to a farm in Listowel.. thinking we were getting a girl dog named Daisy.   But.. we got there and the owner said they had decided to keep her.. but they had a boy dog available…

The dog jumped on Katy.  They fell immediately in love.

His name was Bill. He cost $35. Bill is not a good dog name.. in my opinion.. so I named him Barley.

He stunk. A lot.  It was a pig farm.

So we paid for “Bill” and left the farm. And drove straight to PetSmart for some grooming.

On the way, little Joshie in his car seat kept feeding our new addition… The dog had never been in a car before. so we brought some treats.. and Josh gave him MANY.. so many that the dog puked and crapped all over the van.

Once we got to PetSmart, the dog escaped us and crawled under the van.. apparently he knew what was coming…

We finally got him out from under the van and into the store to be bathed and groomed.. we didn’t want to take him home stinky. After all,  I hadn’t actually TOLD the husband (at the time) that I was getting a dog that day……..

Went home.. cleaned the van.. and went back to get our new, good smelling puppy.. and get him a collar, leash and nametag.. and we took him home.

The husband was not thrilled.. but that quickly changed. He quickly grew to love Barley.. as we all did.

But… Katy was Barley’s girl. She says she was actually HIS pet. And he was her “baby boy”.

Barley.. being the border collie that he was.. liked to herd things.. Specifically, children.  Many times kids would ride by on bikes and he’d freak because they wouldn’t obey him.. Then there were the times that the kids would go tobogganing down the big hill behind our house and Barley would alternate between grabbing their snowsuits with his teeth and throwing himself in front of the toboggan. It was clearly for their own safety.

He had a very distinct personality.  When you’d get up in the morning he’d great you with a “ROWR-rowr-ROWR”.. It’s tough to type it phonetically…. but I think you get where I’m going here. The “talking” could mean anything from “feed me” to “I need to go out” .. to “hey, how was your day?”

Barley was one of those dogs who’d push his head under your hand to pet him.. He was a fairly large dog.. (he was about three quarters Border collie and one part collie so was a bit stockier..)  An imposing looking dog.. walking him, people would often stop to comment about how pretty he was. But he was a very gentle dog. A big baby. His bark was far worse…

I always called him a “pig in a dog suit”.. he’d eat anything and everything.. except vegetables. He rarely got “people food” but I can recall one time letting him eat the remains of one of the kids dinners.. and he did.. and spit out the broccoli.

You couldn’t leave ANYTHING out on the counter or he’d eat it.  At one point I had to put a large pot on the top of the garbage can in the kitchen.  Barley had figured out that if he stepped on the pedal,  the lid would open and FOOD GALORE! (Most of which may have been stuff he shouldn’t have eaten in the first place…and led to some cleaning up. But you don’t want to hear that…)

Barley hated baths ever since he was first bathed at PetSmart.  He’d lay down if you pretended if you were going to pick him up (he was big and heavy and most couldn’t but we’d pretend at his expense..)

He would get paranoid that you’d leave him alone.. he loved the car. (Oddly enough).. If he saw people packing, at the first opportunity, he’d jump in the car.. and whilst on the trip would NOT get out to pee.. fearing he’d get left behind.. or maybe he was just comfy.

One time not that long ago, Katy and I took the dogs for a walk and Barley picked up an extremely large stick..

He’d walk with it.. it would get heavy… Katy would tell him to put it down.. he would.. for a milli second. But HE HAD TO HAVE THE STICK.

I’m sure it didn’t help that Katy and I were laughing our asses off…

Barley was also very protective.. you’d have to be careful play fighting or tickling as he would get upset and try to protect the smaller of the two participants.. he actually bit one of Katy’s former boyfriends (not hard…)

He was also an extremely good judge of character. If he didn’t “like” one of the kids’ friends, he wouldn’t be mean, he just wouldn’t let them pet him.. He knew.  Barley was not very fond of several of Katy’s boyfriends. And he was entirely correct in his opinion….

I’ll miss waking up with Barley on the bed. Or beside the bed (even though I’m slightly allergic and wake up puffy….)

I’ll miss your “talking”.. I miss your nudging when you need to be petted.  I miss how excited you’d get when I’d put on my “stripey pants”.. which meant we were going for a walk. I miss you at the door when we come in the house.  I miss how you’d sometimes lick my face in the mornings.. (and I HATE having my face licked)..  I miss everything about you.

We finally took him to see the vet.. he got really bad quickly the last week. We were prepared. We were doing the “right thing”.  I’m not sure that I’ve ever cried so much. And I’m still crying now.  He knew it was time. He was sicker than we thought. It took longer than we thought as a result.

But he knew. He was okay with it. We petted him..kissed him… cried and told him how much we loved him.

He was a good boy.

Barley was everyone’s favourite dog.  Not just mine (no offense to Mocha) .. But my family’s.  He was gentle, loyal, loving and a big baby.

And much loved.  Even Mocha loved him. When we came home, she was confused and looked everywhere for him. Katy accidentally jingled his collar.. Mocha raced to find him.. saw the collar.. sniffed it.. uttered a huge sigh and lay down. She knew.

Barley.. I missed you before you left.  You are most assuredly in heaven.

Life: it goes on. Every time I walk in the door I expect him to be there.
Love: Love that dog.
Pants: Barley loved the stripey pants.

Falling Off the Wagon

Addiction:

1 : the quality or state of being addicted
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal;
broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

I’m pretty certain that it’s only a matter of time before I’m on Intervention.

I’ve struggled for years with my addiction. It’s been a shameful burden.

I’ve had to hide it from loved ones and friends.  Ashamed to admit it to others.. it’s embarrassing. Pathetic.  And all consuming…. my addiction to……. online games.

Let me tell you how it all started….

With Neopets.

About ten years ago, the kids started playing Neopets.. and as kind of a joke, set up an account for me.  At first, I didn’t care.. just a kid’s game.. but I started doing it.. for the kids. That way I could send them stuff.. the books.. the food.. you know.. I was HELPING.

But.. Neopets is a slippery slope I found.. suddenly.. I was spending more and more time in Neopia.. but my time on the games .. some you could only do them once a day. I NEEDED THE WHEEL OF EXCITEMENT!!! I wanted to go to the Ice Caves as many times as possible.. visit the Snowager.. spin the Wheel of Mediocrity.. play the Tombola…So I got another account. But it wasn’t enough.. I needed more,, and more.. .. and eventually.. I worked my way up to ten accounts.. starting looking up “cheats” and tips all over the internet.

I’d spend hours buying pets, training them, battling them.. searching out various treasures.. buying things… setting up shops.. They LOOK innocent enough.. little various multi coloured virtual creatures… but.. no. They engage you with their perky good looks and smiley faces and their entertaining games and prizes.. and then… you’re HOOKED.

Then I sunk even lower.. I started turning friends onto Neopets.. and they, too… got addicted.  I still feel so dirty….

But I eventually got over it. I moved on.. started real friendships… not just my Neopian friends..Had a real life.. REAL friends..

However.. something’s happened recently that’s threatened my time on the wagon.

Zoo World.

It started innocently enough.  One day, BFF Jodi mentioned that she was playing Zoo World and I should try it.. because it was “FUN”.

Well.. I like fun. Fun is GOOD.

Zoo World. The bane of my existence...

So I accepted the application.

However, I suddenly realized today that it’s become a problem.

There was a post on my wall that said

Beth is moving up in Zoo and wants to celebrate with you! Beth is sharing a Zoo Bonus with friends!
Margaret Jane Awrey

Margaret Jane Awrey

Do you have a job yet????
4 hours ago ·
Beth Warren

Beth Warren

Yes, I’m the owner of a fine zoo.. LOL
4 hours ago ·

It’s official. I’m addicted.  I’m hooked. (oh, and by the way. yes. I have a gig. I’m self employed. I have the best boss ever.. LOL. She takes me out for drinks often…)

Suddenly I’m obsessed with checking the stream for friends who have lost capuchin monkeys and fennec foxes from their zoos.. buying kiosks and zoo managers.. making my zoo bigger and better and more profitable..  I am searching other people’s streams for their baby marmots who need food so that I can obtain growth formula and such.

It’s pathetic.

I once mocked all those who played Farmville, and Mafia Wars and the like. Now….. I’m one of them.

Making new friends on Facebook so that I can creep their profiles looking for things to make my Zoo bigger and better.

Real conversation between me and BFF Jodi:

“Okay, I just found a beluga whale.. and go get it.. NOW!”

“I got it! I just found a Stingray!”

“Oh! I’m going to get it!!!”

“Jodi! I just received a baby Anteater from the Wildlife Care Network. He is separated from his family and is lost. The baby Anteater is scared and needs someone to adopt him!!”

I’m going into my Facebook account to delete posts about Zoo World so friends won’t mock me (I mean, any more than they do already…) HIDING my addiction and how much I play the game.. it’s one of the first signs.. hiding it..   because when I post comes up about how a baby wombat in my zoo needs food, I get comments like “DIE BABY WOMBAT DIE!” and “How much longer are you going to subject us to this sort of thing?”….

See? Not normal.

Tonight I was talking with Katy and it devolved into a 15 minute conversation about Zoo World.. the highlight of which was when she asked was level I was at.. I said “12”.

And she proceeded to go on a curse laden rant that would shock most sailors. All had to do with the fact that she was at level EIGHTEEN, yet MY zoo was worth more than HER zoo.

“ZOO WORLD IS A @#$@# SCAM!!!! @#$%YOU ZOO WORLD!!!”

Something like that. Oh,  and she misread. Her Zoo is worth more.. even though she started after me.. Apparently the game addiction runs in the genes. Also explains her brother’s obsession with Call of Duty.  We have issues.  We obviously need a 12 step program for online game addiction..

And I’m going to look that up…..

Right after I go save a baby speckled bear that’s lost in my zoo…..

Life: Excellent
Love: Interesting to say the least
Pants: I was told yesterday that it looks as though I’ve lost weight. Hmmmm….

The Fine Art of Lying

Everyone lies.  If you deny it, you’re lying.   Please check your pants as I believe the smoke detector is going off….

As much as everyone likes to think they are straight forward, honest, upstanding individuals.. they lie.  Everyone lies on a daily basis,  when you get right down to it..

Think about it.. so someone asks you “How are you?”  And you immediately reply “Fine!” or “Great thanks!” without even thinking.. even though you’re boss teared ya a new one earlier in the day, your car’s acting weird, your kids are being bitchy and you had a fight with your significant other.. Oh, and you spilt coffee on your white shirt.

That’s not the point of this though.. everyone does the “unintentional little white lie” thing.. it’s a given.  Jesus won’t consider that a huge slight against the commandments (I think..)

And everyone does it.. sometimes to spare feelings (“no dear, your ass does NOT look fat in those pants..”) or to save an uncomfortable situation .. Or your own proverbial ass.. (“Wow, Dad, I have NO IDEA how that scratch got on the car! Must’ve been a shopping cart at Sobey’s!)

I can’t recall the first time I deliberately lied.. but I can recall a few… but, hey, wait.. this isn’t about me.. oh wait.. it IS isn’t it?

But I digress….

As a kid you tell little lies  that you THINK are going to fool your parents. (Sorry, kids… no one.. not even Danny Bonaduce or Gary Coleman in their hey days… is good enough actor to fool their mothers..)

I can remember trying to sneak cheese out of the house. Yeah, you read that right. I WAS HUNGRY OK?  Being the devious child that I was… I went into the house.. grabbed some sliced cheese… put it out on the FRONT porch and then went back out the back door.

Here is my faux pas.. instead of going to the front porch and EATING said cheese… I took it into the back yard.  (Oh, it was individually wrapped cheese slices.. that’s an important element to bring up..)

So. Me. Cheese.. Backyard.

I try to sneak cheese. My mother says “what do you have?”.. So I oh so casually take said cheese slice and put it in my pants and end up walking oddlyandmy mother finds the cheese. Trying too hard. Busted.

Ok, not a good example of how mothers know all.. but I’m trying to tell stories here.

I CAN tell you this. I can tell when most people are lying.. specifically my children.  They have “tells”. Certain things that they do that give them away.  But I cannot reveal them. Likely only Katy the daughter will read this, but on the off chance that Call of Duty, the PS2 and all television is off air, I cannot reveal the tells in case Josh the son reads this.

Here’s the thing….. most people don’t do it well. Why you ask?.. they overexplain.

Now, I will insert a story where, yes, I DID lie well. This may not paint me in the best light… but.. I’m going to share anyway.

After my marriage split I had the occasion to be asked out by a couple of guys and that was cool.. the no so cool part was they asked me out on the same night. (oh, maybe it’s that I said yes to both…)

I’m not proud of this .. but what happened was the one guy I was not -so-much-interested-in asked me out first. Then guy who I thought I was more interested in.. asked me out.

This is how this went down.. Long story short (which means it will get long….).. …. Met guy #1 at the bar and he brought his brother and various and sundry relatives to meet me. Oy vey. Hung out for a bit and then I got a “phone call” and I had to leave because my daughter was sick or something.. and I took off to meet boy number 2.  Boy number 1 thought (and rightfully so) that I was pulling an excuse. See? I over explained.

Don’t get me wrong.. boy number 1 was ok.. but I knew it wasn’t going anywhere (we had been on one date before) and .. boy number two was a guy I hadn’t seen in years, but the last time I did he was all body buildery hot and cute and shit. And in my mind, fun to talk to.

So… meet up with boy 2.

Now, not sure what happened to this guy, but options are as follows:  I may have had way too many brain injuries.  I may have been hammered drunk every time I saw this guy.. or…

He quit the ‘roids. Oh, and became stupid.

Got to the meeting place.  FASTEST BEER OF MY LIFE. (and those who know me, know I can drink fast)

Ok, I feel I must redeem myself here. I’m not a “looks” type of girl. I’m a brain girl. But.. compounded with … how shall I delicately put this…. IMMENSE WEIGHT GAIN.. coupled with the fact that talking to him was like talking to a piece of furniture only not as interesting….. yeah. Not so much. (please note that if he had been erudite and an excellent conversationalist I could have been swayed. I’ve never said “UM” so much in my life.  He, on the other hand, giggled inappropriately and suggested that we go make out in my truck. Really…?  REALLY??? uh, no)

So.. again. Fake phone call that my friend Jenn desperately needed my help and….. left. And went back to the first bar (my friends were there as well…saying that so as not to appear desperate)

Didn’t really care if boy 1 was there or not but figured I’d go say hi.

Found him. Making out with some chick.  I turned and walked.  But his brother saw me. I left and had fun with my friends.  No worries.

The next day I had a bunch of messages from boy number 1 apologizing.. figuring I was ditching him and that I had been making an excuse to leave and makes up some weird complicated story about the girl. Too much. Busted. (please disregard the fact that he had already busted me.. sorta)

What did I do? .. of course, played the innocent injured party and said “that’s okay, I hold no grudges” and equally magnanimous things and wished him well whilst making him feel oh so guilty..

My BFF Jodi upon hearing the story said “Way to take the high road by lying”….  I don’t care who you are.. that’s funny shit.

But.. I got away with it. I didn’t do “therapy” damage or anything..  Meh, Boy number 1 is likely better off. Boy number 2 likely got back on the ‘roids.

I recently ran into an acquaintance of mine who was with a “friend” and he then proceeded to waaaaaaay over explain why his wife was not accompanying him.. He walked away and all I said was “he’s doin’ her”… my friends were unsure.. until we saw the dirty dancing a little later in the evening.  Yeah, overexplained.

Point is.. if you really have to lie to save yours or anyone else’s asses.. or make conversation.. or just not get caught. Keep it simple.

And hide the cheese somewhere other than your pants…

p.s. Got my first hate mail today… LOL.  I was accused of being a man hater and that I thought all men were liars. (didn’t post in comments or I assure you I would have put that up. I may cut and paste..)  That said.. I honestly thought this was just some funny stories that didn’t paint ME in the best light. Oh well, dude wouldn’t have bought my book anyway. LMAO.  And please note that the preceding tale does not condone lying in any way, shape or form. 😉

Life: good. very good. I’m excited
Love: I’m a big fat liar.. no wonder I’m alone  *sob*
Pants: No cheese in them at this time

Are we proud to be Canadian.. or to drink it??

For the past couple of weeks, Olympic fever has gripped the world. And no country has been more in love with this Olympics than Canada.

After all, Vancouver hosted the event this year, so it stands to reason that Canadians would be full of pride.. and liquor.

This is my lucky friend Stephen who actually WENT to the Olympics. The outfits rivalled those at the bar..

I had the opportunity to catch some of the events.. not all.. missed the opening ceremonies, among other things.  However, I was able to catch the piece de resistance of the games.. the Gold Medal Hockey Final.  I was not fortunate enough to attend (Unlike my friend Stephen Ross… see photo) So the next best place to watch such an event.. Bobby O’Brien’s Irish Pub (@bobbyobriens on Twitter).

My partner in crime for this event was my lovely friend Meg (@meggroff).  We arranged to meet at Bobby’s just after the first period… found ourselves a table and sat back to enjoy the show.  Oh, and the hockey.

Apparently being a proud Canadian and supporter of the men’s Olympic hockey team involves beer.  Lots of beer. Oh, and that was just us.  I almost felt ashamed drinking my imported Stella… but I digress.

There were many in full “proud Canadian” gear.. and Meg and I chose to give them various names.  Our favourite was Captain Jesus Canada.. a shortish young gentleman who bore a strong resemblance to Christ and was outfitted in Canada jersey and the requisite Canada flag cape.  Captain Jesus would not walk around the bar, but rather run.. simulating the effect of flying.. his long locks and cape billowing in the ensuing breeze….

Another fave I named “Chantman”… again, a Canada jersey, hat et al… he stood at the bar and would attempt to entice the crowd to chant “WE BELIEVE! WE BELIEVE!”.. Which was a resounding failure for the most part.. until the shooters started flowing…

I haven’t read the “Hockey Fan Handbook”, but apparently to show your nationalistic pride, it’s appropriate to toast the team with various shots of Jager, Tequila or whatever shooter you prefer.  The prouder you are of Canada, the more shooters you consume.  (Meg and I may be verging on being traitors as we did not have any.)  The shooters provide the following positive effects:  louder cheering and chanting,  higher, harder high fives… louder screams of joy when Canada scored.. the notion that it’s appropriate to shake a beer and let it explode everywhere.. and of course the illusion that the players can actually HEAR you when you shout at the tv.

Many many others in Bobby’s were also in full Canada regalia and creating much people watching pleasure for my partner in crime and I… Indeed, it was THE place to be to watch grown men nearly cry like newborns when the US tied it up.

But, as we all know.. it was worth it.. Canada triumphed.  You have not witnessed true joy until you’ve seen one grown man (Captain Jesus) run across the bar and leap into another man’s arms (Chantman)… I almost wish I had recorded that moment so that I could play it back for you in slow motion with an appropriate swelling soundtrack….

All in all.. a very good time.. Canada won.. Meg and I witnessed much comedy, camaradarie and man love.. and there was beer. Oh, and wings.

Although we didn’t dress like it, we were, and are, proud to be Canadian and proud of our athletes.   And happy we weren’t the ones cleaning up the bar…….

Life: Fun
Love: I love Canada!
Pants: I wore jeans.

New Beginnings

I’m not a sharer.

I know it seems strange for me to say that considering I’ve spent the last year chronicling my life on the internet.  But I’m really not.

I’m an excellent actress. Far more than most realize. Despite my outward appearance of joviality, I don’t share my feelings with many.. and not often. I sometimes push all my bad feelings down so that no one knows there are there except for me…. putting on the face of a permanently happy girl.  And to tell the truth, I am more happy than not.. but.. I’m babbling now…

photo by Heather Meyers Photography

What brought this on, you ask?  New Year’s Eve.  It is one of my least favourite holidays of the year.

It’s always been somewhat depressing for me.. it’s the end of Christmas, after all.  Time to leave that magical time behind, take down the tree and head back to work or school or what have you.  Depressing as all fuck.

I’ve never been one to revel in Auld Lang Syne and kiss a bunch of strangers…

I mean, I’ve had some good New Year’s Eves.. as a kid I remember trying to stay up till midnight and watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and dancing around.. as a teen there were a few parties.. as an adult, I often worked the night.  For years I DJ’d at the Owen Sound Greys Hockey dance… it was actually quite fun. My husband (at the time) Jamie and I would go up there.. I’d play tunes.. we’d dance… have some food and enjoy ourselves.

The big Y2K New Year’s was spent in Marathon, Ontario. It’s north.. very north.. near Thunder Bay. Hey, if the world’s going to end, might as well be in God’s country, right?  No, actually, Jamie was gigging .. what was supposed to be a huge party turned into about 40 people as many stayed home.. afraid of the impending doom.  We still had a great time..  afterward all of us went back to our hotel.. we were the ONLY people staying there.. not even any staff!! They just left the door of the Best Western open for us.. we stayed up a bit, had some drinks and had a blast.

A couple of years ago we just stayed home.. me, Katy and Josh, BFF Jodi, Alyssa (Katy’s BFF) and Katy’s boyfriend at the time.. we karaoke’d.. had some drinks and decided to go out and slide on the ice rink next door.. much hilarity ensued, as did some somewhat embarrassing photos (“we were outside?” said Jodi….) and soaked clothing from falling in the snow.. but it was fun.

However, most years I choose to lay low.. I’ve tried to go to the bar or the dance or what have you, but I find it a downer.

Which brings me to the sharing part..

Last year was the worst New Year’s of my life.  And unfortunately I let that colour much of the year.

I don’t want to go into detail… I’m saving that for the book, after all.. more on that later… but suffice to say, I was assaulted.  I’m fine. Really.  Finally.  Justice has been served. It’s all good. And no, other than that, I don’t want to talk about it.  It seemed a rather cruel joke by the Universe seeing as I had just suffered a year of moving, lost love and losing my job.  The ultimate capper to a horrible year.

Unfortunately, after this happened, I shut down and spent the better part of a month hiding in my house.  It was what I needed to do at the time.  Several very close and good friends helped me through it.  But it still affected me.  Of course.  I lost a lot of self confidence, self worth…. and chose to deal with it in not very constructive ways.. usually involving wine and crying.

However, the point of this is to not make everyone feel sorry for me.. because they shouldn’t.  I told you already.. It’s all good.

The point of this is that although it took me many months, I finally started turning things around.

This past year wasn’t a banner year.  But there were a lot of very good things that happened.  I made a lot of new friends.. many of them through social media channels.  I finally realized that what I want to be when I grow up .. is a writer.  I started writing a book.. not done yet.. but soon.  I reconnected with many people from my past who meant a lot to me.. Avril.. Wayne.. many many from high school…

Lost some people from my life as well.. some died.. some… I had to remove from my life for self preservation.

I fell in love this year.  No, I’m not telling you with whom.  But it didn’t.. and won’t.. work out.  He knows. And he loves me too and remains an important part of my life.  So it’s still a good thing.

I saw many concerts.. AC/DC, Bob Dylan, Springsteen.. to name a few.. things on the bucket list.. I had many people who loved me help me when things were really not good.. Jodi, Trevor.. my family.. even my ex-husband Jamie has been a wealth of support and friendship.  Yes, we are an unusual pair.

Despite the pain, I had a lot of laughter.  Many good times with friends.  I loved and enjoyed them all.

I did actually accomplish a few of my resolutions from last year.. so I believe that to be progress.  I’ve recently started an exciting new career adventure.. And my children continue to amuse me, amaze me and provide me with unconditional love.  They are two of the finest people I know.

What started so horribly has turned out quite well I think.  I can honestly say that I am actually happy … that’s taken me a long time to accomplish, truthfully.  But I am.  There’s always room for more happiness though.. and more laughter..  And I’ve learned the past helps shape who you are, but does not control your future.

My best Christmas gift this year was a card. It was from my parents.  In summary, it was to tell me how proud they are of me and how strong I am.  Best gift ever.

I’m actually looking forward to this New Year’s Eve. I am spending it surrounded by people I care about and who care about me.  It will be low key and quiet.  Which is just fine.

So if you are reading this.. you likely have affected my life whether you know it or not.  Thank you for being a part of my journey.  Thank you for being there for me.. you mean a lot to me..   My wish for you for 2010 is love, peace, happiness, contentment and much joy and laughter.

And I wish that for me, too.

Because 2010 is my year for a new beginning.  It’s the year of the Tiger. I’m going to grab the tiger by the tail…

Life: All good.
Love: I love you all very much.
Pants: Yes, I will be wearing pants this evening. Thanks for asking..