Category Archives: Uncategorized

25 Things I Would Tell My Children.

A friend sent me an email about 25 things she wishes she would have known when she was her daughter’s age. My children are 19 and 14.. and I hope they actually read this.. and listen to their mother…

1. Don’t get caught up in gossip or petty fights between your friends.  They may seem earth shattering at the time, but most of the time it’s just crap. Always ask yourself if this will matter in a day, a week, a month or a year from now.HEART%20LOU

2. Get a job. Not because we don’t want to support you but because when you fail on your own and then you succeed, no one can take that away from you. That job will give you confidence, responsibility and self-respect. Sounds like bullshit but one day you will realize it is the truth.  And put away 20% of your paycheque. EVERY cheque. Save it. Learn how to save money NOW.  Actually, put away more than that, then when the time comes when you want to travel or buy a car, you’ll be way ahead of the game.

3. As tempting as it is, don’t go crazy with credit cards. Get one, use it sparingly, pay it off quickly. Pay cash as much as you can.

4. Start exercising now and do it every day. At least something. Walk, run, whatever you feel comfortable with. Just MOVE.

5. Don’t measure yourself against the ridiculously high standards of the entertainment industry. Just be the best person you can be.  If your heart is happy that will reflect in your appearance.

6. You are smart, talented and unique. Never ever forget that.

7. Talk to your grandparents.  Spend time with them. Ask them about what it was like when they were your age. Yes, I know sometimes “old people” are “boring” but you’ll cherish the memories you make.

8. Don’t “skip” family events. Spend time with your aunts, uncles, cousins. I know that you’d rather be with your friends but you’ll be happy that you still have these relationships years down the road.

9. When you feel sad or upset, tell someone. Always have someone you can tell things to.  Your mother, your father, a friend.  Never ever think that anything is insurmountable. Again, think about whether this will be important tomorrow, next week.. next year.  And never be afraid to ask for help, regardless of how bad you think your problem is.

10. Go ahead and drink. drink until you puke. Just don’t drive. Alcohol isn’t as likely to kill you as getting behind the wheel of a car. Have fun with your friends but don’t put yourselves at risk.

11.  Don’t be afraid.  Say hi to that person you like. Go someplace new.  Try a new activity.  Every once in a while take a risk….(nothing STUPID though.. and always be safe!)

12. Don’t settle.  Whether it be in love, or work or your friendships. Don’t stay with someone or a situation just because it’s comfortable. You deserve the best of everything, but it won’t be handed to you. You’ll have to work for it.  And if you settle you’ll always be wondering “what if?”

13. Always, always, always take the high road. There is never a reason to intentionally hurt someone. Do what in your heart you know is right and you will never have any regrets. It’s not easy but it is worth it.

14. Do not be embarrassed to say you believe in God if you do. Everyone believes in God, some of us just have another word for God like love, humankind or truth. God is a man made word, believe in what gives you faith and strength.

15. Don’t smoke. Don’t smoke and under no circumstances take chemical drugs. Smoking will kill you. Slowly, something else might get you first just by way of fate but smoking will suck the oxygen from your cells, age you, fight your body internally and invite cancer in to stay. Chemical drugs will mess you up far beyond what you can imagine. Some people can get away with them for awhile. It’s a crap shoot and believe me, the crap will devour you.

16. Smile. Especially when you don’t really feel like it. Sometimes just by smiling, you’ll improve your mood and the attitudes of everyone around you.  And laugh every day. If it doesn’t happen naturally, find something on tv or call someone you know who will make you laugh.

17. Perform an act of kindness every day. It doesn’t have to be big.  Hold the door open for people. Always help ladies with strollers and the elderly.  Buy someone a coffee. It doesn’t have to cost money, just do something helpful and nice.  Volunteer. Be charitable. Always remember that “there for but the grace of God go I”. Things can change in a heartbeat. Always help those less fortunate than yourself if you are able to.

18. Be polite. Always say please and thank you.  It’s difficult sometimes, but you can do it.

19. Be careful of what you tell others. Don’t tell everyone every bad thing or annoyance about your partner or friends… you may forgive them, but sometimes your friends/family may not. Pick your battles.

20. Always have a pet. You will be the recipient of unconditional love and always have someone who loves you to come home to.

21. Have a dream.  Never give it up and never let anyone talk you out of it.  Then plan on how you’re going to capture that dream.

22. Always have something that is just yours.  Something that you can do all by yourself no matter where you are. Whether it’s reading or writing or composing. Something that makes you happy and fulfilled.  Then when you are bored or lonely or just need some time alone, you will always have something that brightens your spirits. Be creative. Cook, paint, sing, write. Dance, sculpt, garden.. whatever it is that makes you feel creative, do it. It’s good for your soul.

23. Fall in love with someone who makes you feel good about yourself.  Someone that you enjoy being with in all situations. That makes you laugh but will be there if you need to cry.  Never change who you are for someone else (unless it’s for the better..) And don’t mistake hormones for “love”.  Love should never make you feel desperate, upset or obsessed.  Just always remember that Love is supposed to make you feel GOOD. If it makes you feel bad, then chances are it’s something else.

24. Find whatever it is that you are passionate about then figure out how you can do that for a living. If you love your job it will never be work.

25. Never be afraid to tell someone how you feel. If you love them, tell them. You may not get an “I love you” back, but at least you let them know they are loved. And the more love you share, the more you get back.

By the way, I love you both very much.

Life: Not bad at all. Mind you, wish I knew some of this stuff 25 years ago…
Love: Love my family and friends.
Pants: Burned off a lot of calories moving.. going well!
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My Life in a Box

It’s nearly done.

Most of my worldly possessions are sitting in a giant “Pod” in my driveway.  It’s a large storage crate that’s been here for a whouseeek and during the week I’ve been packing things and stacking them up.  Couches, chairs, photo albums.. the wine rack and bookcase my father made.  Pretty much everything I own.  Tomorrow the Pod guy will come and hoist it onto his truck and take the Pod to a storage facility until the time when I have my own house again.  I basically have left in the house the contents of my bedroom .. my bed, dresser, trunk.. a couple of chairs and boxes and boxes of clothes.  For someone who never has anything to wear, I have a lot of clothes…

In the morning, the pod will leave and then my friend will come with a truck, we’ll load in the rest of  my stuff and I’ll take it to St. Catharines, where I’m going to live with my friend Jodi for a while.  There are of course, mixed feelings. 

This was the first house that I ever owned.  I really had to work hard to buy it and when I finally got it I was super excited. It’s not a very big house, but it was super cute.  Buying the house meant that after months of living in a friend’s basement (after first moving to Barrie), I could finally have my own space and my daughter could come to live with me and go to school here.

I had the house set up in less than a week. It was little but pretty and all painted the colours I like (lots of red haha) I had new furniture, a rec room and I loved it.

Nearly three months to the day that I took possession of the house, I lost my job.  My cute little house went up for sale. There was no reason for me to be in Barrie any longer.

It took many months before I sold it… mostly because I put it on the market in the winter. Then, the people who wanted to buy it had some issues (like I did when I bought it). I was happy they finally got it. pod

I’ve spent a lot of time in this house. It’s comfortable, it’s quiet. It has a nice yard and deck.

Although much of the time I’ve spent in Barrie has not been fabulous due to my job situation, I had many good times in this house.

The first weekend I was here, my BFF Jodi showed up and stayed over.. mind you it was because she had car trouble on the way to the cottage, but we turned it into wine, fun, building furniture..

My daughter moved here.. and my son visited as often as possible. Katy and I had fun decorating. She surprised me by painting the rec room while I was away in September and did an awesome job. We had fun painting and decorating her brother’s room.. mind you, I think he only slept in it once.. he preferred to sleep in the rec room with the “big tv”.

My entire family came here for Thanksgiving.. as did BFF Jodi. Seventeen people plus 3 dogs. As I said, it’s a smallish house, so it was stellar that the weather was good so that we could use the deck as well.  The kids ran about the yard and had a lot of fun. It was great to have my family over to see my place and spend a holiday together.

At Christmas, we had a lovely dinner and lots of laughs. It was just me, Katy and Josh and Jodi .. we decided that due to our “unique family makeup” we should rename ourselves “The Warrcrookens” – a combination of each of our last names. We opened gifts, ate great food and enjoyed.xmas

Katy and I spent countless hours hanging out and talking and spending time together in our little house. Watching TV or just hanging out on the “party-o”. We didn’t enjoy the ridiculous amounts of snow, however.  She would have her friends over as often as possible – always a good time.

The “Super Exciting Friends” celebrated Singles Awareness Day in that house.. and often we’d just chill.

Packing up the house left me melancholy. It was the first house I’d ever owned.  And now all my stuff was going into storage and I was going to St. Catharines.  But when I thought about it, it wasn’t the house I was going to miss so much as the people who had spent time with me there. The moments, the occasions, the fun. And really, I’ll now be closer to those people that make me feel happy and that I have fun with. 

As much as I’ll miss my little house,  but there will be other houses.  Because it’s not the house that makes the memories it’s the people that are in them.  And I can always have fun as long as I’m with the people that mean the most to me.

Even in a box.

Life: goes on…. in St. Catharines
Love: Nothing to report as per usual.
Pants: I think moving has put me down a couple pounds. It’s hard work!

Yes, Another Questionnaire..

Got this via email the other day… and as I’ve mentioned before I actually do like them… I often will learn something about whoever sent it.. and sometimes the questions are pretty interesting.. plus, if I post it, then I don’t have to think of something to write about. Yes, I’m lazy sometimes. 

35 ODD Things about Beth Warren (like there wasn’t enough oddities known about me already…)pic

Feel free to cut, paste, change answers to your own and email to half the free world. Or not. Do whatever you want.. you will anyway…

1. Do you like blue cheese?  Yes, yes I do. I like pieces of bleu cheese in salad in particular. With some pear and pecans and field greens. I also like dipping celery in it. I feel ripped off if they bring me Ranch with the chicken wings…

2. Have you ever smoked? Yes.
3. Do you own a gun?  No.  Not my thing. I’ve never even fired one. Although I did apply to the OPP when I was in my 20’s. 

4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite when you were a kid? Orange I think… Liked Strawberry too.
5. Do you ever wish you could click “undo” in your life like you do on your computer?  Yes.  Usually follows a rash decision involving too much wine and a telephone.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like em.  I like them with tomatoes and onions, in particular. There’s a great place in Burlington called Easterbrooks which has about a billion kinds of hot dogs and old bottled pop and it’s all old and funky. Haven’t been there for years. I hope it doesn’t suck now.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? It’s a Wonderful Life.. The Grinch who Stole Christmas (I have all the lyrics to the song written out..)

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?   Water and Coffee
9. Can you do push ups? Yes I can. Not tons of them, but a few…

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? The cross necklace I always wear.  My grandmother used to give us money and we’d buy ourselves something from her. I bought this necklace and have worn it for about 25 years.  It also has a charm from Thailand on it that means “peace” and it’s from my friend Kelly.  She was hoping it would bring me some.

11. Favorite hobby?  Writing weird things.  Playing on the computer. I really like painting.. but don’t do much of it anymore.. I like creative things.

 12. Do you have A. D. D.?  LOOK A PUPPY!   Huh? what was the question…?

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Just for computer..well, I’m SUPPOSED to,  but often forget.

14. Middle name?  Ann Margaret – Ann is on my birth certificate… Margaret is my confirmation name, but I use it. I like it.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? Packing… I’m hungry…

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, Water, Wine

17. Current worry?  Whether I’m going to be able to get everything into the storage cube… yikes. I have a lot of stuff.

18. Current hate right now?  I hate packing.

19. How did you bring in the new year? Hanging out in St. Catharines with my BFF Jodi.

20. Where would you like to go?   Italy, various countries in Europe… Mexico. Lots of places. Las Vegas!
21. Name three people who will complete this: Jodi perhaps, Michelle, and maybe Avril…

22. Do you own slippers? Yes but I never wear them. They make my feet hot.

23. What color shirt are you wearing? White tank top

24 . Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?  No. They are too slippery. I like cotton.

25. Can you whistle? Yes, but not well.. can’t do a “hockey whistle”. But then again, I never played hockey.

26. Where are you now? At my home for the next few days – my house in Barrie.. still packing..

27. Would you be a pirate? Aye matey

28. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t sing in the Shower
29. Favorite Girl’s Name?  Kaitlin/Katy… Lara… when I was young I liked girls names that you could shorten into boys names and I swore I’d name my daughter Roberta and call her Bobbi. Katy is thankful I got over that.  
30. Favorite boy’s name? Joshua, John, Jack, anything Biblical or Celtic pretty much.

31. What is in your pocket right now?   Lint
32. Last thing that made you laugh?  My BFF Jodi, my crazy dog Mocha running around the yard.

33. Worst Injury you’ve ever had? Broke my right hip in a car accident. Had to be cut out of the car. Crutches/cane for months. yikes.
34. Do you love where you live? I Love My house but don’t like living in Barrie.. hence the move next week!

35. How many TVs do you have in your house? FOUR! far too many!  One in each bedroom and a giant one in the rec room. Most are going into storage however…

 

Life: is taken up with packing right now
Love: No news
Pants: been much better with the working out. Yay!

The Continuing Misadventures of Beth and Jodi

One of my best friends in the world is Jodi Crooks. Today is her birthday.IMG00649
 
“Please hold for an important call from Jodi Crooks” – Jodi, pretending to be her own assistant
 
Jodi and I met when I took a temporary gig working in the growing industry of lawn care.  She worked for the sister company and our desks were near one another.  One day we were the only people in the whole building and I was saying something to her.. and she finally looked up and said “oh! Are you talking to me?”  To which I replied “Noooooo… I was talking to the OTHER JODI… but to make SURE you know I’m talking to YOU from now on I will make sure I call you Jodi CROOKS…”  This is way funnier when I tell it in person.
From that point forward, she became JodiCrooks .. all one word.  Everyone calls her that.  I am a trendsetter obviously.  Also at that point, we became great friends.
 
“Do my pants smell?” – me to Jodi.. Jodi has no sense of smell
 
JodiCrooks and I have been through some crazy stuff together.  Divorces, unemployment, living together, tattoos, lots of laughs,  puppet shows, boys, the stupidity of boys.. being splattered by fake blood at an Alice Cooper show… concerts.. Alice, Velvet Revolver, Motley Crue, and just this week, The Fray…  
We just like hanging out and chatting.. and often sit with both our laptops watching tv and MSNing each other in the same room. We are weird.
We spend at least part of the holidays together every year.  This past year it was Jodi, Katy, Josh and I for Christmas Eve and morning.. we decided that in light of our interesting “family” that would should adopt a new name.. and hence became the “Warrcrookens”.. A combination of Warren and Crooks.. the names we kept from our ex husbands. LOL.
IMG00642
 
Jodi and I love the word “LAUGH”.. We both collect signs that say laugh.. and we’ve now gone to the extreme of having matching tattoos done on our wrists.   It’s one of the biggest things she and I have in common….the laughter itself.   We are both pretty funny people and we love laughing.. and do it as often as possible.  Plus, the tattoo is  a constant reminder that if you can still laugh at things, you’ll be okay.  And no, it’s not a commitment ceremony thing. We both like boys. Quite a lot, actually.
 
“Way to take the high road by lying” – Jodi to me after not so successfully juggling 2 dates in one night.. only to run into date #1 making out with someone else at which point I pretended to be all offended.
 
We’re the type of people who call each other just to say something funny.  Or for me to call and sing “The Wind Beneath my Wings”… or play “Hungry Like the Wolf” over the phone because it’s on the radio… (after all, Jodi IS President of the Duran Duran Fan Club…) Or call if “Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch” come on the radio.. she loves Mark Wahlberg.
For all the laughter and the tears .. and the many bottles of wine consumed either celebrating or commiserating… for just being the wonderful, pretty hilarious person that you are…. Happy Birthday Jodi Crooks!
You are a great BFF.  Here’s to many more misadventures!
xoxo
b

46 Years

Today is my parents 46th wedding anniversary.

It’s quite an accomplishment. They are very lucky.. I mean, not only living together for that long, but just the fact that my mother has never carried out any of her threats to kill my father….it’s quite something really.

My parents met at a cottage in the Muskokas… on Moon River.  They each lived many hours away and it was obviously sheer luck or destiny that they met.   They lived more than 5 hours apart prior to getting married on June 22, 1963 at St. Columbkille’s Cathedral in Pembroke Ontario.wedding  And their wedding song was.. you guessed it.. “Moon River”.

Yours truly was born 9 months and 2 weeks later… my sister Barb was born the following year and my sister Lara 3 years after that. 

My parents have always been extremely cute together… although every once in a while my mother does exclaim while making a “put your neck right here” motion with her hands… “I could just kill your father!!”  She’s entitled.  He drives her crazy sometimes.

They have survived good times, bad times, weddings, divorce (mine), grandchildren (8 in total), love, life, laughter, tears,death, births, and illnesses.  They’ve gone through some really rough experiences together.  As most couples do.  But I’ve never seen them fight.  They have disagreements, sure, but never a “fight fight” that I can recall.   They spend most of their time together… my father having been retired for nearly 20 years.  And they are still as cute as ever. They are both very funny, smart, FUN people.

They still hold hands.  They are still in love.parents

Forty-six years. 

They are great parents.. and a tremendous example.

I only hope to find that myself someday….and maybe I will.. if I’m very, very lucky.

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad.

Love, Beth xoxo

All Hail the King

My dad was born in Kitchener, Ontario on Friday, December 13, 1935.  He grew up in Kitchener and Hamilton.. the son of Lithuanian immigrants. “Johnny” as he was called by his family.. was a smart guy, good student and according to his sisters, popular with the girls.. ;-).

Johnny went to Ryerson Polytechnical Institute to become an electrician and went to work for Stelco for a bit, then Dofasco for over 30 years.  In the early ’60’s he went on vacation to the Muskokas and met the woman who would become my mother.. Sheila… on the Moon River.  After a bit of a long distance courtship (they lived 5 hours away from one another).. they got married  June 22, 1963. (Yikes! Now I have to write an anniversary post tomorrow!)

On April 6, 1964 (yes, I’m 45, what’s it to ya?)  he realized his true destiny… he became my father.  Okay, a little overly dramatic there.. My father wound up being dad to three girls.. me, Barb and Lara.  My mom asked if he wanted to try for a boy, but he was fine with his girls.DSC01997-2

When I was a kid I wanted to be just like my dad.  My dad always wore short sleeved dress shirts with a breast pocket every day to work.  I wanted to be the same so I’d wear a pajama top that happened to  look  just like his dress shirt.   I learned to splice wires and at one point thought I’d like to be an electrician .. just like daddy.  I also remember trying to out-eat him at dinner.. yeah, not such a good idea looking back (and seeing my overabundant backside…)

One of my earliest memories is of sitting on the couch with my sister and my dad and he would read us stories. I remember him coming home from work when I was about 3 because I cracked my head open and he had to take me to the hospital.   I also remember that we had to have the couch recovered after I bled all over it.  On many occasions I was  told “wait till your father gets home”…. and I was scared.  My parents never spanked me (although that was accepted in that day and age..) Just the stern “talking to” that I would get was enough to put fear into me.

When I was growing up, my dad was a man of few words.  I can remember my friends commenting that the only words they ever heard him say was during football games.. “off side”… “flag down”.  He’s generally been the kind of man who keeps to himself.  He wasn’t one to “go out with the boys”.. his life revolved around his work, and his family and his home. 

In my family, my sisters and I have been known to call my dad “The King”. 

When we were growing up, we always.. ALWAYS.. ate promptly at 5pm.  Dad got home about 4.30pm. We ate at 5pm SHARP.   And when the King wanted to eat, he wanted to eat.  Years later we’d have family functions where, with our ever expanding family, we wouldn’t have dinner quite at 5pm… but as soon as the food would be on the table, there’d be dad sitting at the head of the table, half done his meal even though none of us had even sat down yet.

My dad has an affection for sweets.  My grandparents owned a bakery before he was born and my grandmother was an excellent baker, providing my father with sugary goodness daily.  My mother is also an excellent baker and would make dessert EVERY DAY. Pie to be exact.  My father ate dessert with every meal.  I can remember my mom baking at 9pm so that my dad would have “breakfast pie”.  No, I’m not kidding.  Pie with breakfast, pie with lunch… pie with dinner.  Some days my dad would BUY dessert if my mom wasn’t up to baking… Princess Tarts or Eccles cakes from Food City. 

I look a lot like my dad. In fact, it’s why I can never have short hair.. too many people will call me “John”.  It’s just one of the things I’ve gotten from him.. the Lithuanian facial features, the prominent proboscis…  However, that’s okay because my dad was the dad that all my friends thought was the best looking of all the fathers.  He was, and is, a handsome man.

My dad is super organized.  He has the finest work ethic of anyone I know.  He is the ultimate home handyman.  My dad is the kind of guy who can pretty much fix anything.  He’s the guy who always made himself available to help the neighbours, whether it be getting raccoons out of their chimney or shovelling their driveway or helping with a plumbing issue.  Dad was meticulous about mowing the lawn .. first horizontal, then vertical.  He’s also very quick witted and funny… Dad has always been very good with money…Ok, so I inherited the home handyman tendencies and the funny… the money thing… not so much…

When I was young, we had cats for a while.  When he thought no one was looking my dad would pet and talk to the cat.. but if you happened to walk into the room he’d shoo “the darned cat” away.  Underneath it all my dad is a big mushball.  And the mushiness has become much more evident since the birth of his grandchildren.  I love watching him interact with all the kids.  

My father has never been one to be overly emotionally demonstrative…it’s just not his way.  I think it embarasses him a little to tell the truth.  Even more than his children do. (Okay, maybe it’s just me who does that… ) But I know how much he loves me and my sisters.. and our whole family.  I can see it in the way he looks at his wife, his grandchildren, his daughters.. his family… and you can hear it in his voice when he talks about them.  Mind you, he’s often teasing (THAT’S where I get that from!) but you can tell it’s with love.

I, on the other hand, am one for public displays of affection….  My dad is one of the best people I know. I’m proud to be his daughter. And I love him very much.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.  All hail the King!

Life: Moving on.. literally and figuratively
Love: I love my Dad.
Pants: I have been much better lately with the working out.. soldiering onward…

Chain of Fools

I have to tell you that at one point in my life on the internet I was a sucker. I know, I seem somewhat savvy and smart.. one who isn’t easily duped, shall we say.  However, when I first got the interweb via dial up about 15 years ago, I was a little more naive and gullible. It’s before I’d toughened up and got me some web smarts.ear0100l

I can remember as a kid getting letters (remember those? perhaps you don’t if you are under the age of say, 40.)  Long, long ago… people would write things ON PAPER.. telling each other news and events and how they were feeling.  THEN they would put those pieces of information into envelopes and address them to whomever they pleased and then would put a stamp on them and MAIL them.  Sometimes it would take DAYS for the “letter” to reach the other person.  To which you reply.. “DAYS! Egads! How can that still be NEWS then! unless I get things INSTANTANEOUSLY it’s worthless!  After all, I stand in front of the microwave yelling HURRY UP!”    But, once again, I digress….

I would get letters from others that would instruct me to follow the instructions so as “not to break the chain”.  It could bestow huge blessings and riches upon you by following the instructions contained therein.  Upon my very first receipt of such a thing I made the requisite copies, decided who to send these to (anonymously of course..) and sent them out. But then of course, one of those people sent it BACK to me.. because after all, it was anomymous.  Therefore,  I would send out again.. and then of course get another at which point I’d give up.  The postage was killing me.  Truthfully, half the time I didn’t send it out on the first round.  I have a condition.  It’s called “postally challenged”.

But then came the world wide web.. and email.. and instant communication.  And for whatever reason, these same ridiculous chain letters made their way onto the interwebs.  Promises of untold riches if only you’d forward onto 45 friends .. and the threat of death, horrible injury, halitosis, athlete’s foot, giant boils and of course, never ever again being attractive to the opposite sex if you were to break the chain.

However, these helpful missives did of course help us with passing along valuable information that would protect us.. for example, I now know how to avoid waking up in a tub full of ice sans one kidney… that I shouldn’t visit 3 different tanning beds in one day for fear I will cook myself from the inside out…I should never let anyone help me with a flat tire as it is a sure sign that they are going to murder me.   Not to mention how I learned to stop flashing my headlights at cars whose lights are out as it’s a surely a gang initiation (not some poor guy who forgot to turn his lights on…)   Helpful stuff like that.

Then too, there’s the whole public service element.  Because you KNOW that when a child goes missing the FIRST thing a parent or law enforcement officials do is create a chain email. It should be extremely vague, not really indicate what the child was actually wearing nor give any contact information other than some email address.  This is the epitome of effective police work.

And, let’s not forget all the cool free stuff we’re all going to get through simply pressing send.. just this week I’ll be getting oodles of gift certificates from stores and restaurants, several free laptops and  a HUGE chunk of Bill Gates’ fortune.

There was one point early on that I “fell” for these things and would forward along.. worried that some sort of bad luck would befall me. After all, I was raised Catholic and you know how superstitious we are…   But it’s gotten out of hand. I’ve caught myself forwarding them again… just the somewhat entertaining ones about horoscopes and such… after all, you can never be too careful… however, the phone didn’t ring with some fantastic news, my secret crush did not call to confess his undying love for me nor did I lose any limbs.  However I know I likely looked like a bit of a superstitious fool to some.  So from now on, I’ll only be forwarding funny stuff.. or emails that don’t come with a “condition”.

 I henceforth refuse to pass along another “good-luck-Irish-blessing-bloody-mary-curse-luck-in-love-better-forward-this-to-thirty-people-or-you-will-not-only-die-a-horrible-death-but-you’ll-never-get-laid-again” chain letter. 

Your inbox will thank me.

(If you have any doubts whether something is “real” or not.. www.urbanlegends.com  or www.snopes.com or www.hoaxkill.com.)

p.s. posted a tweet about “bad luck” and emails on Twitter and @a_black_cloud immediately started following me. I blocked it. Can’t be too careful….

Life: Moving forward. And moving out of Barrie in one month. The countdown is on.
Love: Obviously, I am having issues with my love life because I did not forward along the “right” email.  Crazy cat lady, here I come.
Pants: Again, obviously this is part of the curse. Or coulda been that bag of Cheddar Corn.