Category Archives: pants

Another Quiz because I’m too Lazy to Think of Anything..

Okay, maybe not LAZY per se.. but I did get this via email and thought I’d do this as I’m having a bit of a hard time thinking of hilarious things lately (but just wait.. you know I’ll think of something eventually..) It’s mostly due to my ongoing plans for world domination. It’s difficult to be ever so enchanting and amusing when you are struggling with how to overthrow world powers.. and what to wear.. but I digress..
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Granny.. Mary Elizabeth. But I’m Beth, not Liz. If you call me Liz or Elizabeth I likely will not respond.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I can’t recall to tell the truth. I’m a rock. LOL. ummm… likely was being slightly hormonal and shed a tear at something silly.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I mostly print, but yes, when I’m not being sloppy, my handwriting is quite nice, thanks.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Likely turkey, but I like many

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two.. Katy (nearly 20) and Josh (140

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.  I’m a pretty good partner in crime.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Is that a rhetorical question?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope.  No adnoids either.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I’ll pass. Jumped off a 40 foot board as a teen and my ears popped. Hard. Not fun.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Hmmm.. I like Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Special K (my sister and I used to tell people my grandfather invented it and that the K really stood for KUBILIUS.. our birth name)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Not often

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically: yes, though not as much as I’d like to be.  Emotionally: yes and no.  Sometimes I am analytical and stoical, sometimes I can be as unstable as a bag of rats in a meth lab….

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE
Eyes, personality.. smile.. teeth (or lack thereof)

14. RED OR PINK?
Red. Always Red.  Everything in my purse is red, as is my phone, car, bedding.. you name it..

15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My self-doubt. My lack of willpower.. LOL

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
All of the people I don’t see nearly often enough..

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Who said I was wearing pants? 😉

18.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Chicken and Salad

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The Beatles White Album

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Red. Dark Red.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla, fabric softener, fresh smells, citrusy.. outdoors.. a campfire burning, babies.  (I re-read that, and I hope you please note that there is a comma in there. I do not condone the burning of babies, small animals or trash for that matter..)

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Katy

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, a friend from long ago.  🙂

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football.

25. HAIR COLOUR?
Black. Although it has been known to be various shades of brown and red.

26. EYE COLOR?
Hazel.. but depending on the light, what I’m wearing and if I’ve cried.. brown or greenish

27.  FAVORITE FOOD?
All of it.  Steak, shrimp.. barbequed meat is number one with me.

28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy. Funny movies please.. life is depressing enough without horror films or having to listen to Coldplay.

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
uh… Shawshank Redemption.. again.

30. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black

34.  FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate mousse perhaps.. cheesecake

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Story of You

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It is black like my heart.

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nada. Wasn’t home.

38. FAVORITE SOUND?
hmmm.. laughter

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Germany..  and South America

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Does being a smartass count?

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
St. Joseph’s Hospital, Hamilton Ontario.

Life: going well
Love: do you realize how much I regret calling the blog “Life Love and Pants”..?  Each time I must think of something amusing to indicate my lack of love life. But honestly, I’m not bitter.. LOL
Pants: Did I say I was wearing pants? 😉

The Littlest Astronaut

Please note the following conversation occurred without the addition of alcohol, crack cocaine or liquid NyQuil….

I was visiting with my friends, Jennifer and Todd Nutbrown, a while back and we were discussing what’s going on in our lives.. they had a baby on the way… I’m doing some writing.. blah blah blah. (Please note that I started this post before the ever so gorgeous Ayson Todd Nutbrown was born on December 21st, 2009… yeah, I’m a slacker..)

Yeah, I know this is a kid.. trust me, no "midget astronaut" pics on the web....

Todd asked me what exactly what I was writing and I explained that I’m in the process of writing a book.  This peaked Todd’s interest and he asked if he could be a character in my novel.

The novel is based upon situations and events that have happened in my life…so I told him I didn’t see why not.. sure, I’d add him to the roster.

Well, Todd then decided that his character would be called.. what else.. Todd Nutbrown.  Todd Nutbrown, the astronaut.  And not  just an astronaut, but a MIDGET astronaut!

We then discussed the difference between midgets and dwarves.. midgets being little people who are proportionate, whereas dwarves have “normal” sized torsos and heads but their arms and legs are of a less proportionate size.

(Please note that this is at least the second time I have discussed “little people” in this blog. Once again, no offense is intended toward those of a smaller stature.)

Then, of course, we had to discuss of which type were the family members of  “Little People, Big World”.. etc. But I digress.

Todd continued with his character development by deciding that not only would his character be a midget astronaut.. but he’d go into space alone.. where he’d go CRRRAAAAAAAAAAZY… and when he arrived back on earth, decided to become a cross dresser.  And as I recall, join the UFC or wrestling..he also may or may not have had an eye patch.

At this point in the conversation, Jennifer asked Todd to get her a bottle of water .. and he pretended to be all put out by the request and griped about it.. to which Jenn replied “OH SURE! I have to put up with your  cross dressing and astronauting and you can’t even get the mother of your unborn child a bottle of water!”  “But did you ever think you DROVE me to it? It might be all your fault.. maybe we should go to couples therapy…” says Todd.

Seriously people, I can’t even make this stuff up.

You have to take into consideration that, long story short.. I believe Todd has a screw loose. In a very good way, of course.  It’s why he and I get along so well.  That, and our mutual love of Anchorman and various other whacked movies.

does he LOOK like a midget astronaut? no. The bundle of joy is lovely Ayson.. who now, has the nickname of "Carlos"

For example, I can always tell when Todd is working on the weekend as I’ll receive random texts when he’s bored. Not your garden variety “hey how ya doing” .. it will be  a random quote from a movie that I have to figure out and then respond with an appropriate quote from the same movie.. often, Anchorman.. however, one of our more recent text conversations went as follows:

Todd: Not at the table, Carlos!
Me: Tigers love pepper… they hate cinnamon.
Todd: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
Me: I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school… or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Todd: Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don’t, but do me a favor: don’t text me, it’s gay.
Me: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.
Todd:Jesus, he’s like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.
Me: Oh, you know what? Next week’s no good for me… The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it’s totally fine.

This exchange of quotes from the Hangover went on for approximately 1.5 hours. Yes, we are 12.

Suffice to say that Todd amuses me greatly (as does his lovely wife/my BFF Jenn).. and although I doubt he’ll ever be an astronaut in real life (nor a midget).. I can only hope to do him justice by writing about his fantasy world.

After all, he IS a bit of a big deal….

Astronaut tales may not make the novel though.. I think it’s more of a short story.. (yes, went for the obvious joke there, but I don’t care who you are, that’s still funny…)

Life: All well
Love: Move along.. nothing to see here
Pants: Yes, wearing some. Hey.. haven’t been working out as much as I should, but enough that I eat whatever I want and my pants are still loose. All good.

Sometimes You Should Just be Thankful they aren’t Zombies.

Toward the end of last year, I felt that my posts were getting entirely too somber.  That’s somber, as in sad. Not the short form for sombrero.. but, I digress.

Yeah, some bad stuff happened. Some people died.. I wrote about them and thereby depressed the fuck out of all of us..  but, it was heartfelt, I’ll tell you that much. However, at this time, I would like to point out that I’m getting a little creeped out by Facebook encouraging me to “reach out” to my friends that I haven’t heard from lately.

Hey, Facebook. Enough with the seances.  THEY”RE DEAD.

Like, seriously… I regularly have 3 come up. “Reconnect with Joe Stiffy. You haven’t talked in a while” or whatever the damn thing says. I was at the funeral, dude. I have a pretty good idea why he’s not reconnecting…

I’ll tell you this much..they aren’t updating their statuses.  But it would be cool if they did…

“Buddy is hanging with Hendrix and Mitch Hedberg… it’s 4:20 here ALL the time!”

“Buddy is getting his groove on with Marilyn and Farrah.. to quote the Black Eyed Peas.. It’s gonna be a real good nite 😉 “..

“Adolf really needs some aloe re: this burning in eternal hell thing..”

Stuff like that.

See? THAT would be okay.

Facebook as a conduit to the dead.

Honestly, I have no idea where I was going with this post, other than to say that it freaks me out a little when I get weird messages from people who are dead. Specifically on social media websites.  If they want to come to me in dreams and tell me winning lottery numbers, cool.  But otherwise, yeah, not so sure.

I guess I should just be happy they aren’t the undead and aren’t wanting to eat my brains. And here I thought being single was a problem.

Life: good, thanks
Love: I love bacon and beer. S’all i got at the moment
Pants: jogging pants. Not that I jog or anything.

Quiz Me

Ok, so when I get lazy with the posts, I put up one of these quiz things….

WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?: Elizabeth Ann Margaret Kubilius Warren
NICKNAMES?: Evil Genius, Promo Princess.. Bethany.. in high school one of my nicknames was Cinnamon…
SINGLE OR TAKEN?: Single. Do you not read the blog?
BIRTHDAY?: April 6th
ZODIAC SIGN?: Aries
AGE?: forty fuckin’ five
HAIR?: Black
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?: St Catharines and Kitchener. It’s a long story
WHAT COLOUR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: black. Always black.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?:   Filling out this quiz. Sucking on a beer.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU DID?:  Sneezed
WHAT IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU: Elvis. He’s everywhere.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU ATE OUT WITH?: Jodi and Stephanie
IF U WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?: One of those bouncy balls that you sit on. Or maybe a Big Wheel. Or perhaps a crazy Build A Bear with a voice box that when pressed would reveal satanic messages…
WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON?: how much more depressing can this quiz be? I already told you I was single so it’s not likely a honeymoon is in the future. Fine. Italy. or somewhere in Europe. Spain would also be cool.
WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH?: Crap! This got more depressing! Other than my kids.. the love of my life aka a player to be named later..
HOWS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?: Cold
LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE?: Josh.
LAST PERSON WHO TEXT YOU: Josh
LAST PERSON YOU TEXT: Josh
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?: Yes, otherwise I would have blocked them by now.
WHAT DO YOU THINK A TOBLERONE IS?: It’s a chocolate bar, genius.  Part of the Festive Special
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Jeans and a tee shirt
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?: no
WHO DO CONSIDER YOUR CLOSEST/BESTEST FRIEND?: Jodi, Jenn, Katy… Trevor.. and Steph has become a great BFF..
WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU?:  don’t touch the handles on the washroom doors
DO YOU OWN A VEHICLE?: yes. it’s red. I like it
HAVE YOU EVER WON A SPECIAL AWARD?: Yes. A couple “manager of the year” things and Record Company Person of the Year from the CCMA
WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE PLANS?: Immediate future: sleep.  Long range plans: world domination
FAVOURITE FOOD?: all of it. and more.
FAVOURITE FILM:  The Shawshank Redemption, Wizard of Oz.. many.. Dodgeball. Anything with Will Ferrell except Semi Pro
LAST FILM YOU SAW AT CINEMA?: uh… not sure.. something with Hugh Jackman
FAVE BOYS COLOGNE: I have a weird penchant for Swiss Army. I’m apparently in high school
FAVE GIRLS PERFUME: I love Cool Water, Roots Spirit, and Swiss Army for Girls. And Vanilla perfume oil. It makes me smell like cookies.
DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?: sometimes
ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK ANYONE OUT?: sometimes
IF YOU COULD CHANGE YOUR NAME TO ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Princess Regina Bananahammock
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
WHAT IS THE MOST STUPID THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?: really? do you think I’m going to put that in writing? just THINK of the legal repercussions…
DO YOU LIKE SCARY OR HAPPY MOVIES?: Happy
CHRISTMAS OR EASTER?: Christmas
LUST OR LOVE?: hopefully both
KISSES OR HUGS?: both
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: the fact that I am not getting lust, love or kisses or hugs at the moment
WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR PYJAMAS: red
WHAT COLOUR’S YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?: purple
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS QUIZ?: it’s depressing the crap out of me to be quite frank. Can you PLEASE include more questions about how ridiculously single I am? FML.
FAVE PART OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?: brain
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: loneliness.. helplessness

WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?: coffee

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT?: depends
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?: Jesus. I want him to show me that “water into wine” trick. It will save me a BUNDLE!
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD IT BE: Supreme Ruler or Game Show Host.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?: full. of alcohol hopefully
WHATS YOUR FAVE NUMBER?: 6
SUMMER OR WINTER?: Summer
CAKE OR PIE?: Pie
SILVER OR GOLD?: Gold.. Allergic to silver
DIAMONDS OR PEARLS?: Diamonds
SUNRISE OR SUNSET?: Either
HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE?: Right hip fractured in a car accident. Collar bone fractured falling out of bed. I was five. Get your mind out of the gutter.
DO YOU WEAR RINGS?: rarely
DO YOU HATE ANYONE: Neo Nazis and prejudiced people. And Coldplay. Oh, and Nickelback.
ARE YOU LOUD OR QUIET: really? you had to ask? LOUD
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:  absolutely

Life: Good thanks
Love: No reports
Pants: I told you, I’m wearing jeans.

The LOVE Section…

I’ve been writing this blog for over a year now.. well, a year and 2 days.. Actually meant to post on the anniversary, but you know.. got all distracted by shiny things and .. hey! LOOK A PUPPY!!

Part of the reason for starting the darned thing was to keep myself amused.. that and I like writing.. and also to keep track of my “resolutions” of sorts that I made a year ago..

As you may or may not recall, there were several.. one of which was that I had hoped during the past year, that I might find myself in a relationship perhaps, maybe..

But here’s the thing.. I don’t actually MEET people.  I mean, I don’t get out much (you only get so many weekend passes from the home..)  And sincerely, I don’t know where you’d go to meet people.. it’s tough, really.

I’ve tried the online dating thing.. and well, yeah.  I mean, I’m pretty honest about my profile.. I had friends read it and they’ve said it’s a fairly accurate representation of who I am.. I stated what I feel are my good qualities.. and owned up to some negative ones.. I mean, no one is perfect, obviously.. but .. I do think I’m a pretty decent, fun type of chick.. And I’ve been told I’m not bad to look at…

On the negative side.. I’m quite loud and sarcastic (not mean to those less fortunate or anything) and some men really don’t know how to “handle” me (so I’m told…)  I guess sometimes I don’t have a filter and I call people on their shit.. or I’m just.. loud and slightly insane and others can’t quite handle it.  Too smart for my own good is what my mother would call it.

So, here is the profile…

I am happy, funny, articulate, generous, very goofy, smart, sexy, loving, erudite, cheerful, giving, open, somewhat attractive I think, sensual, intuitive, a great cook and baker, artistic, a great public speaker, forgiving, honest, slightly insane in a good way, super fun, passionate, severely right handed, not really a girly girl, understanding, freakishly logical, a bit of a tomboy, a good dancer, a home handy man, animals and children love me, I try to see the good in everyone… and I’m fun. But I think I said that already.

I am very smart and enjoy the mental exchange far more than anything. I appreciate the fact that not all are as into computer stuff as I am.. but.. If you try to engage me with a brief sentence or profile.. We likely won’t hit it off. Just sayin’ I like interesting conversation, whether it’s through messaging and text.. or in person. But if I’m not mentally engaged.. it won’t happen.. I’m a writer, after all.. I enjoy the written word…

I like boys with brains. And funny. Wit and intelligence are paramount. But if you’re hot.. that’s a bonus. (please note my earlier reference to sarcasm.. ) however, although I don’t have a specific “look” that I like, I do like men with nice teeth. yes, it’s a weird thing.

I’ll let you know how this little experiment goes… I will tell you this.. if a guy asks what “erudite” means.. he won’t be getting a reply..  I’ll be busy looking at that puppy…

Life: all good
Love: Dudes, like, did you not just read that?
Pants: so many jokes to be made here about how I’m the only one who takes them off.. but, I won’t.. just in case my mother reads this. Oh, wait, she’ll like that. NVM…

100 Posts…

I just noticed today that I had surpassed 100 posts.

That’s a lot of words.  It would appear that I have a lot to talk about.. Or more likely I’m just longwinded ..a bit of a babbler..

Regardless, I was taking a look at the original reasons that I started this blog… and thought I’d see how much I’d “progressed”.. if at all….

So, to revisit.. Here are what amounts to my New Year’s resolutions.. and thoughts on the same…

one of my many recent adventures.. this was Oktoberfest.. good times!!

  • Get a job. Preferably one I love and can utilize my skills – mocking others and my insane knowledge of useless trivial information. I am thinking “game show host”.

I, unfortunately, have not become a game show host. I KNOW! What a waste!  However, I have discovered that my ultimate goal is to be a writer.. well, I’m already a writer… but I mean write and get paid for it… like, huge money.. . You know, be on Oprah and stuff.. … Now, as far as the job dealio is concerned, I haven’t secured a traditional 9-5 thing.. which is great.. because I’m really not a 9-5 type of chick.. One thing I’ve discovered is that I like working from home.. or wherever I happen to be.. and also like to work at weird hours (that’s the bohemian creative thingy there methinks..)  So, I’m doing some consulting work.. which is very, very cool. I like it.

  • Move. I love the house I bought. LOVE IT. That’s the biggest bitch about this whole deal. However, I want to live closer to Waterloo where I can see my kids more regularly and be near my friends and people that I love. Do they have any game shows in Waterloo?

I DID move.. to St. Catharines.. to live with my BFF Jodi.  Which is awesome because she rocks.  However, ultimately want to be back in the K-Dub.  I love Kitchener-Waterloo. A LOT.  Big fan.  I am saying aloud that I plan on being back by February.. putting it out into the Universe, so to speak.. gonna make it happen!

  • Find me a boyfriend. I like boys. A lot. However, I seem to be somewhat smarter than many of them and this seems to scare them off. Or it’s my insane good looks. Or my lack of ego. Or the fact that I have spent the last month in my rec room and actually don’t meet humans. I am also removing myself from any internet dating crap (more on that another time). Time to put on my big girl pants and meet aforementioned humans.

This is a tricky one. You see.. I haven’t been ENTIRELY truthful when it comes to the “love” section of the blog.. well, I did take myself off all the internet dating stuff.. mind you, I had a relapse and went back on for a bit.. Chatted with a few guys.. but.. really didn’t have any interest in meeting most.. met a couple.. and.. yeah, not so much. And, removed myself again.

So, to be truthful about this.. hmmm… well, I’ve had some “dates”..  and they were fun and all.. a couple of boys that I liked.. but.. y’know.. nothing came of it.. didn’t work out for various reasons.. so there ya go.

And I’ve rethought this actually.. I guess I don’t so much want a “boyfriend” as just a social life.. which I actually have!! I’ve had a lot of fun lately.. meeting new people and doing fun stuff with some great friends. And really.. fun is the operative word.. I mean, I could “have a boyfriend” if I REALLY wanted one.. I get asked out and stuff. . but.. I want the “right” guy.. ..smart and funny.. Should I be cruising the Perimeter Institute? Comedy clubs?

I know there’s a guy out there for me.. the Universe will send him my way when it’s the right time.. 😉  So I’m in no rush.. and not worried about it. Obviously whoever he is is just not ready for me yet.  After all, I AM a lot to handle….  I’ll just have fun in the meantime!

  • Adopt a healthier lifestyle. i.e. more veggies, less crap, less liquor (unless it’s a special occasion, like, Tuesday..) more exercise. This will be my greatest challenge as you actually have to get off the couch….

This one.. I’ve been.. pretty good with.. I have been eating less crap.. and have been getting more exercise (really should do more crunches though..) I walk dogs for about 60-90 minutes a day (about 5-6K) and all my pants are too big.. so that’s going pretty well. Less liquor?  Well.. ..  let’s put it this way.. if I DIDN’T do all the walking, I’d likely weigh about 300lbs…

So I actually think I’ve done pretty well with them… I’m happy with my progress. But… still working on it and it’s getting better every day…

Life: It’s all good!
Love: I love my life, my friends, my family….. and Kitchener-Waterloo!
Pants: As I said.. they’re bigger.. I’ve moved in a belt notch and just last night a friend told me I was looking skinny. Yay!

Have You Ever Ever Lost An Elephant?

I’m going out to buy a record player today. Yes, I am cutting edge.

I’ve kept only one toy from my childhood.. a brown stuffed dog named Jingles.  The pup was a gift on my fifth birthday from my Grandmother… and was my cherished companion every night when I slept.  Many nights I cuddled Jingles.. whispering secrets.. sometimes a few tears…MMRecordPlayer2

Jingles disappeared at one point around the time I was about 30.  I figured it would turn up eventually.. somewhere in the house.  Around the same time, one of my daughter’s first toys.. a small black lamb named “Bobby” (get it? Baaaaaabby…)  also went missing. Despite many searches, they remained lost.

Flash forward five years.. one day I was taking my son Josh to school and was having a chat with his grade 2 teacher when I looked down at the toy shelf.. and there was Jingles!  “That’s my dog!” I exclaimed and went on to “prove” it.. one of Jingles eyes was chipped.. and he had a wire inside him to hold his shape.. it was still bent inside from my many nights of cuddling…

And sitting beside Jingles… was Bobby!!

Mrs. Hardy and I figured out that Katy brought the toys for show and tell and forgot them. They had been sitting in her class ever since.. being played with by countless children over the course of 5 years..  Thankfully, Mrs. Hardy let me take both toys back.. Obviously, we were meant to get Jingles and Bobby back…. Katy and both have these precious childhood souvenirs on display in our respective bedrooms.

Twice recently I had occasion to talk about another childhood toy.. the Mickey Mouse record player.

My sisters and I received it for Christmas from Santa one year along with 100 kids 45’s .. we had picked it out ourselves whilst browsing through the Sears Wish Book. That Santa is SMRT.

We’d play all the records.. and dance around..

My youngest sister, Lara, was very fond of the record player and would play music all day long while Barb and I were at school.  In particular, Lara enjoyed “The Elephant Song”.  She would play the  same 45 over, and over, and over…. again.  My mother drew little elephants on the label so that Lara would know which record it was..

This song has special  notoriety in my family as a result.. .when we were much younger, the three of us started “performing” the song for our cousins and such amid much laughter. There’s a musical interlude in the song.. and when singing it at one point for said relatives, when we got to that part, we elected to insert a “nose solo”. It brought the house down.

As a result of our unique singing ability, my sisters and I have been coerced into singing said musical masterpiece at various family functions.. particularly weddings…. the nose solo is still the highlight of the tune.

So twice in the last week the subject of the infamous Elephant Song and the Mickey Mouse Record player has come up. I’ve never been able to find this song on the interwebs.. and I’ve never run across anyone else who’s even heard of the song.. until I sing it for them in my most operatic  vibrato…  Katy and I even performed the song one evening for her boyfriend… and yes, he lost it at the nose solo….

I was out for a walk yesterday and while waltzing down King Street I looked into a store window… and there it was!! The Mickey Mouse record player!  Mickey’s outstretched arm across the turntable as if he was pointing at me.. “Beth! Look! It’s your old pal Mickey!”

I am a huge believer in “signs”.. and this one was certainly directed at me.  On the turntable? No, not the elephant song, but a 45 about “Meditation and Self Realization”… message noted, Universe.

I’ve been re-evaluating and soul searching and working on various self improvement for a while now.. and I certainly believe this message was aimed directly at me.. plus, the thought of that record player and the joy it brought us brings back many happy memories..

I had dogs with me, so couldn’t go in… I called the store later in the day and yes, it’s for sale. I’m going to get it today… and perhaps look through their 45’s for the aforementioned paean to pachyderms…

I’ve never, ever lost an elephant… but I did lose my stuffed dog once.. but more importantly, I’m continually finding out more about myself every day.

The Elephant Song
Have you ever ever lost an elephant? It’s really quite a silly thing to do
But there’s something even sillier.. and that is losing two
And that’s what we have done today.. Arthur and Celeste have run away..
Their mother’s crying and worried so… oh where oh where did our elephants go?
We have lost 2 little elephants.. we’re looking north and south and east and west..
for two thousand pounds of dear little elephants.. named Arthur and Celeste.
(insert nose solo)
And that’s what we have done today.. Arthur and Celeste have run away..
Their mother’s crying and worried so… oh where oh where did our elephants go?
We have lost 2 little elephants.. we’re looking north and south and east and west..
for two thousand pounds of dear little elephants.. named Arthur and Celeste…
Arthur and Celeste….
Arthur and Celeste…..Arthur! Celeste!….

Life: The universe is conspiring on my behalf
Love: I love when interesting things happen
Pants: Walking a lot every day.. for exercise and for the adventures!

Life is a Carnival.. Enjoy the ride.

When I was a young girl, my father would often take us to a carnival that was set up along the beach strip between Hamilton and Burlington.roller-coaster

My sisters and I would love to go on all the rides.. we’d take turns ringing the little bell on the front of the boat ride.. pretend to be riding Harleys as we spun in circles on the motorcycle ride, scream in terror as we thought we’d go flying out of the Scrambler… and of course, there would always be the roller coasters.

The clicking as the coaster ascended the track.. the build up… the anticipation of being hurled through the air at incredible rates of speed.  The sheer terror of the drop.. the euphoric rush and heart palpitations as we soared up and down…

I recall my family visiting Wonderland for the first time.. waiting in line for a good 30 minutes or so in order to climb into a metal box and have our bodies thrown about for a mere 3 to 5 minutes of electrifying exhilaration.

This summer my son and I went to Marineland and he convinced me to ride the Dragon Fire six times in a row.  At the end of the ride I came to the conclusion that perhaps I had become far too old for this joyride.. the feeling of my brain being jostled around in my head and slammed against the side of the car now far outweighed the elation I once felt whilst flying through the perceived time space continuum.

This past week my life has felt like a veritable roller coaster.

What started out as a fun little trip quickly became an accelerated, terrifying adventure.  The slow build of the ride escalating to its peak.. then the sudden dangerous thrust of being hurtled toward the ground … wind whipping through your hair, feet dangling… feeling as if you are almost airborne… only to rise once again up the track, spinning about until dizzy and then come crashing to the bumpy stop.  End of the ride.  Please don’t forget to pick up your belongings as you depart to your left.

But as much fun as rollercoasters can be, they are a brief thrill ride..fervent, fast, furious….jarring your brain and body.  Much excitement and fun while the fleeting ride lasts, but intense and jolting and always coming to an inevitable screeching stop.  And you are sometimes left feeling a little disappointed and nauseous at the conclusion.

So, I think perhaps my rollercoaster days have come to an end. 

From now on I think the ferris wheel is more to my liking..  slowly climbing toward the sky.. being able to observe everything around with an unencumbered view of the world.. rocking the cart just enough to be slightly exciting.. but not too much to make you crash to the ground… and then the slow descent back to earth where, once again, you can plant your feet firmly on the ground.

Or maybe the carousel. I think that may be more my speed. 

But, for the record,  I did enjoy the ride. Brief as it was.

Life: Everything happens for a reason. It’s all good.
Love: I have a lot of it in my life. For that I’m thankful.
Pants: Working on that too. Time for a run.