Category Archives: life

Are we proud to be Canadian.. or to drink it??

For the past couple of weeks, Olympic fever has gripped the world. And no country has been more in love with this Olympics than Canada.

After all, Vancouver hosted the event this year, so it stands to reason that Canadians would be full of pride.. and liquor.

This is my lucky friend Stephen who actually WENT to the Olympics. The outfits rivalled those at the bar..

I had the opportunity to catch some of the events.. not all.. missed the opening ceremonies, among other things.  However, I was able to catch the piece de resistance of the games.. the Gold Medal Hockey Final.  I was not fortunate enough to attend (Unlike my friend Stephen Ross… see photo) So the next best place to watch such an event.. Bobby O’Brien’s Irish Pub (@bobbyobriens on Twitter).

My partner in crime for this event was my lovely friend Meg (@meggroff).  We arranged to meet at Bobby’s just after the first period… found ourselves a table and sat back to enjoy the show.  Oh, and the hockey.

Apparently being a proud Canadian and supporter of the men’s Olympic hockey team involves beer.  Lots of beer. Oh, and that was just us.  I almost felt ashamed drinking my imported Stella… but I digress.

There were many in full “proud Canadian” gear.. and Meg and I chose to give them various names.  Our favourite was Captain Jesus Canada.. a shortish young gentleman who bore a strong resemblance to Christ and was outfitted in Canada jersey and the requisite Canada flag cape.  Captain Jesus would not walk around the bar, but rather run.. simulating the effect of flying.. his long locks and cape billowing in the ensuing breeze….

Another fave I named “Chantman”… again, a Canada jersey, hat et al… he stood at the bar and would attempt to entice the crowd to chant “WE BELIEVE! WE BELIEVE!”.. Which was a resounding failure for the most part.. until the shooters started flowing…

I haven’t read the “Hockey Fan Handbook”, but apparently to show your nationalistic pride, it’s appropriate to toast the team with various shots of Jager, Tequila or whatever shooter you prefer.  The prouder you are of Canada, the more shooters you consume.  (Meg and I may be verging on being traitors as we did not have any.)  The shooters provide the following positive effects:  louder cheering and chanting,  higher, harder high fives… louder screams of joy when Canada scored.. the notion that it’s appropriate to shake a beer and let it explode everywhere.. and of course the illusion that the players can actually HEAR you when you shout at the tv.

Many many others in Bobby’s were also in full Canada regalia and creating much people watching pleasure for my partner in crime and I… Indeed, it was THE place to be to watch grown men nearly cry like newborns when the US tied it up.

But, as we all know.. it was worth it.. Canada triumphed.  You have not witnessed true joy until you’ve seen one grown man (Captain Jesus) run across the bar and leap into another man’s arms (Chantman)… I almost wish I had recorded that moment so that I could play it back for you in slow motion with an appropriate swelling soundtrack….

All in all.. a very good time.. Canada won.. Meg and I witnessed much comedy, camaradarie and man love.. and there was beer. Oh, and wings.

Although we didn’t dress like it, we were, and are, proud to be Canadian and proud of our athletes.   And happy we weren’t the ones cleaning up the bar…….

Life: Fun
Love: I love Canada!
Pants: I wore jeans.
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I’ve Devolved into a Hairy Chested Shirtless Man. (or why I suck at dating…)

A few posts back, I promised I’d update on the LOVE section. Oy vey.  This is a sad sad tale, my friends.. get out the tissues.

Soooooo…… as anyone who reads my rantings knows, I’m not very successful in the “love” department.  Well, I have HAD successful relationships, don’t get me wrong.. but just haven’t had one for a while.  Many things have influenced this sad state of affairs.. I don’t meet a lot of men my own age, for one.. but, just haven’t met anyone I’m truly interested in…

But I digress.

Recently I had a few incidents that shed much light under the proverbial bushel known as my love life..  As you are likely aware, yes, I attempted the online dating again.  *Sigh*

not the actual guy.

Needless to say, there were some interesting characters responding to my ad. Many of whom could not string together a simple sentence (hint: use verbs).. or were just generally of no interest to me.

I did chat online with a few fellows.. but nothing really progressed beyond that.. I even met a couple..

On one occasion, I had been chatting online with one guy and we realized that we had mutual friends .. and we oft times frequented the same establishments.. and this one particular evening we both showed up for a local blues jam in town.  I was out with my daughter Katy, and her friend Lisa.. and he came over to say hi when he recognized me.

At first he seemed nice enough.. despite the entire wardrobe made of denim and matching scarf… but as the evening progressed and he consumed even more alcohol, he just became.. well… obnoxious.

Aside from telling us how great he was, he felt compelled to tell us about his workout regimen and then proceeded to practically remove his shirt in the bar so that we could properly admire his abs.  This was not a pleasant site, as it appeared that he was wearing a brown sweater. He was not. ‘Nuff said.  I’m sure in different circumstances he’s a very nice man, but seriously, dude.. trying far too hard.

On another occasion, I started conversing with another guy online who was quite intelligent and well spoken, and reasonably entertaining.  However, then he kind of freaked me out.  He Googled me.  He found out my last name, requested my Facebook friendship.. and started reading this blog.  (He and I discussed this, I’m no longer freaked out.. but it seemed slightly creepy at the time. Duh. I forgot that if you hit “view profile” on the MSN that you can then see someone’s last name, etc.. I’m pretty. I don’t have to be smart.)

Regardless, at the time I was a little… well, freaked.  I felt cyber stalked (although a friend of mine recently said that cyber stalking is this century’s version of staring across the bar… well, kinda, but without creeping ALL their photos…).

The whole online thing wasn’t all negative though.. I did meet a very nice guy and we hung out a few times. Until he … disappeared.  I assume he found someone he liked more.. all good, my feelings aren’t hurt. I hope he’s doing well.  And that he’d finish that stupid Scrabble game we started on Facebook. (Oh, maybe that’s it.. I was KILLING him.. )

I also met another nice guy online… one night, we exchanged a couple of emails and then on the spur of the moment decided to meet for a drink.

Now, I am generally a fairly cautious individual in this regard. I like to chat online for a while to determine whether or not there will be some inkling of camaraderie.. some indication of good conversation.. because you just never know when someone may turn out to be a serial killer. After all, THEY LOOK LIKE US.. have we learned NOTHING from Dexter????

This impetuous meeting of course made me somewhat nervous…. I had to rush to get ready as I hadn’t showered all day.. and then I had.. the pants emergency.

I could not find my pants. My “good jeans”. I have many pairs of jeans, but most are too big (Please see “pants” portion of blog)… I really only have a couple of pair that look good on me.. after 20 minutes of searching, I called my daughter. Yes, my pants were in Kitchener.

Awesome.

So.. I put on one of my many skirts.. and feeling far too dressed up, went to meet my date for the drink.

He was cute. Quite good looking as a matter of fact.  And funny.. intelligent.. quite charming.. we seemed to have lots to talk about and got along fairly well, I thought..

The establishment we were at was closing.. so we went to another to continue our conversation.. all in all it was quite a fun night.  At the end of our time together, there was the usual.. ok, we’ll have to do this again type thing…

The next day, I text’d him.. and he responded.. all good.  Then.. me being the friendly type of course sent another text with something I found amusing later in the week.. and.. then I had a link I thought he might be interested in.. so I found him (at least I think it was him…) on Facebook and sent it.. and then another text re: something funny.. you’re getting the picture here.

I realize that there was no huge “Love Connection” or anything.. but figured he was a cool guy and I was just sending stuff like I’d send to any friend.. had hoped we could be friends and stuff… but.. yeah. I’m sometimes a little too intense.

I was discussing the hairy shirtless guy and the “cyber stalker” with someone and how I had felt uncomfortable, etc. And suddenly realized…

I was a hairy shirtless cyber stalker. Oh, and texter. (that’s TEXTER not DEXTER)

Thinking back to our evening together.. I was nervous.   Anxious. And.. thinking about it now.. likely obnoxious. I talk too much (you already knew that..) I’m loud, brash.. sometimes politically incorrect…..

First of all.. I was way overdressed for the occasion and in retrospect likely looked like I was trying WAY too hard (mind you, I dress like this often, but for this visit to the pub… yikes… )  Plus, I think I was pretty much like one of those 8 year olds trying to impress the adults… “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!! WATCH ME WHILE I DO A BACKFLIP OFF THE HIGHDIVE!!”

Fuck. I’ve officially become pathetisad. FML. Usually, I only let the crazy out in little bits. Not this time, as I recall….

Hell, I was awful at dating when I was a kid. I SUCK AT IT.  I suppose I could blame the various head injuries,  combined with nerves, alcohol and the hope that he wasn’t a serial killer, or worse yet, a Jehovah’s Witness.. but still.. Really?  Ugh.  I have become what I despise most.  Seemingly desperate.

On a normal, regular basis.. I’m pretty relaxed.. pretty easygoing.. most think I’m a pretty cool chick (either that or they’re just humouring me.. wouldn’t be the first time I’m sure…)  I tend to have a self deprecating sense of humour and a healthy sense of the absurd combined with an overabundance of ironic wit and sarcasm.. Which, perhaps some don’t enjoy… but.. that’s who I am.  Only I was MORE SO on this particular occasion, methinks.  Apparently it’s because I’m an Aries..

Women born under this sign typically are more aggressive and forceful in getting the things that they want. Because of that, they can sometimes have problems in their romantic relationships. An Aries women is forever in the search for a ’real man’ who will be able to handle her. (or perhaps that should say “put up with me”.. LOL)

Regardless, I’m a “live and learn” type person.. everything happens for a reason, I’m wont to say.. So, I learned something.  Be myself.. stop overtrying.. stop texting the poor guy… oh, and wax my hairy, cyber stalking chest.

There may be plenty of fish.. but I think I’m out of the pond for a while.. 😉

Life: Things are good otherwise.
Love: Did you not READ the post?
Pants: I wore a skirt. See above.

Good Fish, Bad Fish

Pisces is the 12th sign of the Zodiac and is represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions. The two fish symbolize the internal struggle of the soul within a Pisces. Often, the fish are swimming away from each other in a circle representing life after death or reincarnation. Pisces is considered a feminine or negative sign. Feminine signs are considered more passive, receptive and sensitive than masculine/positive signs.

Pisces .. the fish..

Pisces are sensitive, humane and often idealistic. People born under this sign react emotionally to everything making them compassionate and sensitive to those around them. Rather than taking an analytical approach to life, pisces react to the feelings of others and as a result can be very influential when they choose to be. In the right situaltion a Pisces can be capable of incredible deeds. The positive nature of a Pisces and the fact that they are tuned into the feelings of others makes them socially popular.
No, I have not turned this  into a Horoscope site.

I have many Pisces in my life.. always have.. somehow I am drawn to the fish.. or related to them..   However, in this particular post I wanted to address three fish who happen to be having birthdays within the same week.. three people who are very important in my life..

My sister Lara celebrates her birthday on February 24th.. as that is the day that she was born. Lara is four years younger than me and we’ve generally always gotten along.  She is a lovely, kind, wonderful and attractive person.. She’s a great wife to her husband Joe and the amazing mother to three funny, intelligent and well behaved children.  She’s a marathon runner and an Occupational Therapist in her business life.  She’s pretty and smart and does NOT look like she’s had three children. For that, I am envious, however, she is a runner and I am relatively lazy. LOL.

I can remember being about 7 or 8 and Lara went “missing”.. My other sister Barb and I went to all the neighbours looking for her and came home crying when we couldn’t find her.  She was in the basement the entire time playing quietly and no one thought to look there. I remember a picture of Lara one Christmas when she was very young.. she looked like a doll sitting on a tiny couch.  She was an exceptionally pretty child with lovely blonde hair.

When Lara was about 17, she and her 2 friends and I made a trip to Niagara Falls and stayed in a hotel.  It was a tremendously fun trip… To this day, we’ve maintained that we went to wax museums and tourist attractions (well, we DID go to the Falls..) when in reality there was, perhaps, some underaged drinking in bars across the US border.  I’m 45. I think it’s a little late for my mother to ground me. I hope.

Lara and I have not lived in the same city for many years and I regret the fact that we are not closer.  I love her sense of humour, her desire to always make other people happy.. her willingness to help others whenever possible.. her giant heart and her sensitivity and compassion for everyone around her.  I think perhaps for her birthday I might like to actually spend some time alone with her. Oh wait.. that’s more of a gift for me than it is for her… LOL

Jennifer’s birthday is February 25th.  She calls me “the new mommy”.  This stems from 2 incidents.. one being an occasion when she was dating a young man and she discovered that he had a toddler… He became indignant when we were in the Santa Claus parade and he felt she hadn’t paid enough attention to his daughter.  My response was “what the hell were you supposed to do? Jump off the fuckin’ float, pick her up and swing her in the air and scream “I’M YOUR NEW MOMMY! I’M YOUR NEW MOMMY!!” ?”  Shortly after this, Jenn revealed that her dad had a tiny crush on me and we then proceeded to discuss that if I WERE to marry her father, I would be HER new mommy.. but I wouldn’t be picking her up or swinging her around..

Jennifer recently became a mother .. to the very beautiful Ayson.  She’s a natural mother.  And, as the “new mommy”.. my status has been upgraded to “new grandma”.. kinda.. I’m not wearing any orthopedic shoes anytime soon (no offence, Mother.)

Jenn and I have had many many adventures.. nearly being killed by a giant truck on Hwy 93 in Orr Lake… various concerts, misadventures at the Stampede Corral.. Oktoberfesting.. wine, crying, laughing, boy trouble, many secrets.. .. but mostly laughing.   I cherish her friendship.

Katy was born on February 20, 1990 and turned 20 this year.  It was a bit of a tough birthday for her as she had a lot of ups and downs during her birthday week.. But I can safely say that things are on the upswing.  I wrote a very long blog about my beautiful daughter last year on her birthday which you can read if you like.

Katy is smart and beautiful and funny.  She is everything a mother could hope for in a daughter.  She’s also one of my best friends.  And she deserves everything good in life. I know she’ll get it.

All three of these wonderful women are beautiful, talented, smart, funny, sensitive, passionate, empathetic and just amazing.   I am absolutely blessed to have them in my life.  I thank the Universe for them.  I am happy and grateful for their love.

Happy Birthday Lara.  Happy Birthday Jenn.  And Happy Birthday Katy.  I hope this is the best year yet.

Oh, the Good Fish/Bad Fish?  This is how Jenn describes Pisces… part good.. and a little part bad.. or maybe the better word is adventurous…  All I know is, I pretty much only see the good.  I love you all. Happy Birthday.

Life: An adventure every day!
Love: There’s a lot in my life.
Pants: I think I need to get some new ones.

Birds of A Feather..

Those who know me, know I’m a big fan of the social media.  I enjoyed the MySpace, then moved on to the Facebook.. I also enjoy MSN on a very regular basis.. and in the last year or so became a “Twitterer”.  Yes, I tweet. Often. Sometimes with disregard to others. That is usually when I’ve had a couple bevvies, mind you… but I digress..

I rarely use fuckin’ profanity on the Twitter. Why? Well.. some business type folks (and some clergy, go figure..) follow me and I don’t want to be horribly offensive.. after all, that’s what the blog is for.. regardless…

For those of you who don’t “tweet” I felt compelled to share some of my ramblings.. just some highlights.. (yes yes this is another way of saying that I’ve been lazy…….. so sue me.)


I refer to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day”    2:04 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck

@steffer1 perhaps we should organize a tweetup for all our single friends…. LOL Everyone wears black.    2:16 PM Feb 2nd   via TweetDeck  in reply to steffer1

Another day, another Facebook friend request from someone I don’t know… *delete*    10:27 AM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Annoyed. Had a parking ticket for parking where I was told to park. Yeah, we’ll be fighting this.    12:41 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

Sooooo… just why would anyone WANT their own Nick Lachey? #daytimetvsucks    1:56 PM Feb 3rd   via TweetDeck

@meggroff and here I thought you were just going to continue with “pantless day” and “do resumes drunk day”    9:58 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff my fave part of your resume is where you listed “kickin’ it old skool” & “pounding back a 40 w/ my homies” under “special skillz”    10:22 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

@meggroff Perhaps if you offered to share. Just sayin’. Or maybe if you took “stickin’ it to the man” out from under “hobbies”    10:55 AM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to meggroff

Frosted flakes are pretty delicious.    12:34 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

Dear @billgates my MSN is not working. Please fix it. Thankssomuch. Love, Beth    7:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

hint: if you have the “let people know what I’m listening to” thing on your msn.. make sure that it doesn’t show Demi Lovato if you are 40    9:00 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

i wish I had crackers    9:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I was wondering if I’d ever marry again. I will marry again if it’s legal to marry food product in ON. I LOVE YOU MELTED CHEESE!    10:04 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

do you ever wanna just slide your fingers one space over so that people think you are typing in another language?    10:06 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

GWT AI GIQ;A UA FIUBF U RGUBJF TIY EIXJ    10:07 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

@SarahRobinson it was delicious. I love food. Can I legally marry food? or Ikea?    10:11 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@SarahRobinson I can hardly wait to be Mrs Grilled Cheese. now the break up btwn me and the Hamburglar makes sense…..    10:18 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to SarahRobinson

@JamesAWoods @SarahRobinson I’ve been to Texas. Love it. they have beef and large things. I’m in ..   10:20 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck  in reply to JamesAWoods

I’m going to bed. Mocha the wonderdog is going with me. so she will not be answering any DMs    10:44 PM Feb 4th   via TweetDeck

I’m really hoping @badwebsites is working out right now.. need him to be all buff for the reunion. Oh. It’s in May.. not June.    1:38 AM Feb 6th   via TweetDeck

Booooo. Worst part about the SuperBowl is that we don’t get to see the cool commercials. #OhCanada    8:12 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

I would be really interested to see if hits dropped significantly on Porn sites during the SuperBowl. #justsayin    9:46 PM Feb 7th   via TweetDeck

@tw_i_tt_e_r Unfortunately, I’ve made a habit of dating men with bad hair. Last guy looked like a homeless dude….    7:18 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck  in reply to tw_i_tt_e_r

“Mom, I know your heart is black and cold, but quit making fun of people just trying to find love”.. DD to me Re: the Bachelor …    8:54 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Hey! Baby mamas on Maury!! Here’s a thought… birth control! THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO CHASE THESE GUYS DOWN… #justsayin    9:04 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck

Maury should give out giants gift baskets of condoms to the guys on his show….    9:09 AM Feb 8th   via TweetDeck


Guten morgan. (Feeling kinda German being in the K-dub and all….)    7:57 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I love it when you get an unexpected call from someone you love and haven’t talked to ages… #sofartodayisexcellent    9:17 AM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

Today: ass kicking, soup making, build-a-bear, work, coffee drinking, more ass kicking, chat with the HS Vice Principal…. I need a drink.    5:52 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… you can put Montreal Steak Spice on ANYTHING and it makes it good…    6:46 PM Feb 10th   via TweetDeck

I’ve decided to become a crazy cat lady… I got the crazy part down..     4:25 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

Got myself a free steak dinner. It was not hot, but free.    8:18 PM Feb 11th   via TweetDeck

I apparently have coined a new phrase “I will fist bump you in the face”.. all the kids are saying it…    1:29 PM Feb 12th   via TweetDeck

Although I appreciate short forms, if you msn or text me and use ALL of them, I think you are illiterate. #justsayin    11:30 PM Feb 13th   via TweetDeck

Unlike the rest of you, I am celebrating “Singles Awareness Day”….    10:44 AM Feb 14th   via TweetDeck

@badwebsites LOL .. no flowers, the only chocolate I got was “free with purchase” at Victoria’s Secret.. however, I did get some VD beer…    7:21 PM Feb 15th   via TweetDeck  in reply to badwebsites

Does it count if you give up abstinence for Lent?    4:51 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

DD making a pic of me on the computer. Son says “you look like a 5 star hooker”. Apparently it was a compliment….    7:08 PM Feb 16th   via TweetDeck

Yes, I know. “Way to cut and paste!” Well, if you want the live action .. follow me on Twitter. @beth_warren.  I’m reasonably amusing.

Life: All good
Love: Move along. Nothing to see here (YES, there will be a dating update soon. Promise)
Pants: I really want to make a reference to “pants on the ground” but that’s Sooooooo over

Rumour has It…

Walking through the line at the grocery store I can’t help but be drawn to the magazines at the checkout..

You see all the celebrities and all their problems and stuff on the headlines of the mags, and you can’t help but wonder what is fact and what’s fiction..

Obviously, the REFUSING TO EAT headline is not about me..

Are Brad and Angelina DONE?

Is Brittany back on whatever the heck she was on? Is she CRAZZZZZZZY?

What about those poor Gosselin kids? Oprah’s weight? Nicole Richie’s weight? And what the heck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan? (other than the drugs and alcohol. Oh, and the crazy..)

Whatever.  Like I care. Yes, some rumours are based in truth… but seriously. Why on earth do people really care?

Because it gives them something to talk about other than their own mundane lives.

Which leads me to…….. rumours that I’ve run across about me in the last year through various sources…

Let me set ya straight..

1 – That I had moved to Nashville.  – Based in fact, but not quite true – Well.. yes, I talked to someone about possibly working with a company in Nashville, however it became painfully obvious that dude was not tremendously interested in my brain, but more so everything below it. Needless to say that once he sent me some “personal photos” I realized that this would not be a stellar career move. ‘Nuff said.

2 – That I was taking a gig in Florida.  – Partially true – I was offered a job working for a rap music label in Florida.  A lovely young “gangsta” offered me the gig as he “likes to surround himself with white people as the homies will rip you off.”  This did not happen for a variety of reasons.  Suffice to say that I hate rap music.

3 – Joining the UFC. – Based in fact – Ok, I just wrestled with some chick in a bar on a dare for some free drinks. Okay. That’s not true either. I made the whole thing up cuz I thought it sounded cool.

4 – I was getting engaged and moving out west.  – Based in fact – I was enraged at one point. And I was thinking of taking a trip to Edmonton to visit a friend. Does that count?

5 – Spent time in rehab. – False – Rehab is for quitters.

6 – I found Jesus – True – He was under the couch cushion with the remote.

7 – I was moving to KW – True. Sorta – Well,  I moved to St. Catharines and technically still live there. But I’m planning on moving to the K-dub ASAP.

8 – I’m pregnant. John Mayer is the father. – SO TOTALLY FALSE  – do you not read the blog?  And the closest I ever came to Mayer was sitting in his ass print once after Fernando worked with him one time and had to drive him around.

9 – I’m anorexic. – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Really? Really? LMAO

10 – I’m working on a plan for world domination. – True – Still finalizing my evil plot.

Life: Going well..
Love: Nothing to see here
Pants: Yeah, I got some.

Another Quiz because I’m too Lazy to Think of Anything..

Okay, maybe not LAZY per se.. but I did get this via email and thought I’d do this as I’m having a bit of a hard time thinking of hilarious things lately (but just wait.. you know I’ll think of something eventually..) It’s mostly due to my ongoing plans for world domination. It’s difficult to be ever so enchanting and amusing when you are struggling with how to overthrow world powers.. and what to wear.. but I digress..
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Granny.. Mary Elizabeth. But I’m Beth, not Liz. If you call me Liz or Elizabeth I likely will not respond.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I can’t recall to tell the truth. I’m a rock. LOL. ummm… likely was being slightly hormonal and shed a tear at something silly.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I mostly print, but yes, when I’m not being sloppy, my handwriting is quite nice, thanks.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Likely turkey, but I like many

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two.. Katy (nearly 20) and Josh (140

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes.  I’m a pretty good partner in crime.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Is that a rhetorical question?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope.  No adnoids either.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I’ll pass. Jumped off a 40 foot board as a teen and my ears popped. Hard. Not fun.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Hmmm.. I like Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Special K (my sister and I used to tell people my grandfather invented it and that the K really stood for KUBILIUS.. our birth name)

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Not often

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically: yes, though not as much as I’d like to be.  Emotionally: yes and no.  Sometimes I am analytical and stoical, sometimes I can be as unstable as a bag of rats in a meth lab….

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE
Eyes, personality.. smile.. teeth (or lack thereof)

14. RED OR PINK?
Red. Always Red.  Everything in my purse is red, as is my phone, car, bedding.. you name it..

15. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My self-doubt. My lack of willpower.. LOL

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
All of the people I don’t see nearly often enough..

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Who said I was wearing pants? 😉

18.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
Chicken and Salad

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The Beatles White Album

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Red. Dark Red.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla, fabric softener, fresh smells, citrusy.. outdoors.. a campfire burning, babies.  (I re-read that, and I hope you please note that there is a comma in there. I do not condone the burning of babies, small animals or trash for that matter..)

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Katy

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes, a friend from long ago.  🙂

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football.

25. HAIR COLOUR?
Black. Although it has been known to be various shades of brown and red.

26. EYE COLOR?
Hazel.. but depending on the light, what I’m wearing and if I’ve cried.. brown or greenish

27.  FAVORITE FOOD?
All of it.  Steak, shrimp.. barbequed meat is number one with me.

28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy. Funny movies please.. life is depressing enough without horror films or having to listen to Coldplay.

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
uh… Shawshank Redemption.. again.

30. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black

34.  FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate mousse perhaps.. cheesecake

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Story of You

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It is black like my heart.

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nada. Wasn’t home.

38. FAVORITE SOUND?
hmmm.. laughter

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Germany..  and South America

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Does being a smartass count?

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
St. Joseph’s Hospital, Hamilton Ontario.

Life: going well
Love: do you realize how much I regret calling the blog “Life Love and Pants”..?  Each time I must think of something amusing to indicate my lack of love life. But honestly, I’m not bitter.. LOL
Pants: Did I say I was wearing pants? 😉

The Littlest Astronaut

Please note the following conversation occurred without the addition of alcohol, crack cocaine or liquid NyQuil….

I was visiting with my friends, Jennifer and Todd Nutbrown, a while back and we were discussing what’s going on in our lives.. they had a baby on the way… I’m doing some writing.. blah blah blah. (Please note that I started this post before the ever so gorgeous Ayson Todd Nutbrown was born on December 21st, 2009… yeah, I’m a slacker..)

Yeah, I know this is a kid.. trust me, no "midget astronaut" pics on the web....

Todd asked me what exactly what I was writing and I explained that I’m in the process of writing a book.  This peaked Todd’s interest and he asked if he could be a character in my novel.

The novel is based upon situations and events that have happened in my life…so I told him I didn’t see why not.. sure, I’d add him to the roster.

Well, Todd then decided that his character would be called.. what else.. Todd Nutbrown.  Todd Nutbrown, the astronaut.  And not  just an astronaut, but a MIDGET astronaut!

We then discussed the difference between midgets and dwarves.. midgets being little people who are proportionate, whereas dwarves have “normal” sized torsos and heads but their arms and legs are of a less proportionate size.

(Please note that this is at least the second time I have discussed “little people” in this blog. Once again, no offense is intended toward those of a smaller stature.)

Then, of course, we had to discuss of which type were the family members of  “Little People, Big World”.. etc. But I digress.

Todd continued with his character development by deciding that not only would his character be a midget astronaut.. but he’d go into space alone.. where he’d go CRRRAAAAAAAAAAZY… and when he arrived back on earth, decided to become a cross dresser.  And as I recall, join the UFC or wrestling..he also may or may not have had an eye patch.

At this point in the conversation, Jennifer asked Todd to get her a bottle of water .. and he pretended to be all put out by the request and griped about it.. to which Jenn replied “OH SURE! I have to put up with your  cross dressing and astronauting and you can’t even get the mother of your unborn child a bottle of water!”  “But did you ever think you DROVE me to it? It might be all your fault.. maybe we should go to couples therapy…” says Todd.

Seriously people, I can’t even make this stuff up.

You have to take into consideration that, long story short.. I believe Todd has a screw loose. In a very good way, of course.  It’s why he and I get along so well.  That, and our mutual love of Anchorman and various other whacked movies.

does he LOOK like a midget astronaut? no. The bundle of joy is lovely Ayson.. who now, has the nickname of "Carlos"

For example, I can always tell when Todd is working on the weekend as I’ll receive random texts when he’s bored. Not your garden variety “hey how ya doing” .. it will be  a random quote from a movie that I have to figure out and then respond with an appropriate quote from the same movie.. often, Anchorman.. however, one of our more recent text conversations went as follows:

Todd: Not at the table, Carlos!
Me: Tigers love pepper… they hate cinnamon.
Todd: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
Me: I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school… or a Chuck E. Cheese.
Todd: Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don’t, but do me a favor: don’t text me, it’s gay.
Me: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.
Todd:Jesus, he’s like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.
Me: Oh, you know what? Next week’s no good for me… The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it’s totally fine.

This exchange of quotes from the Hangover went on for approximately 1.5 hours. Yes, we are 12.

Suffice to say that Todd amuses me greatly (as does his lovely wife/my BFF Jenn).. and although I doubt he’ll ever be an astronaut in real life (nor a midget).. I can only hope to do him justice by writing about his fantasy world.

After all, he IS a bit of a big deal….

Astronaut tales may not make the novel though.. I think it’s more of a short story.. (yes, went for the obvious joke there, but I don’t care who you are, that’s still funny…)

Life: All well
Love: Move along.. nothing to see here
Pants: Yes, wearing some. Hey.. haven’t been working out as much as I should, but enough that I eat whatever I want and my pants are still loose. All good.