A friend died over the weekend.

Bernie Sadilek was just 39.  He had suffered from medical difficulties his entire life… and those likely led to his untimely and unexpected death.

Bernie was actually a friend of a friend.  To be more specific.. he was one of my ex-boyfriend’s best friends.  Trevor (or Fernando as he is more commonly known in this blog) and Bernie had been friends for many years… they had worked together years ago.. and became very close.

On Saturday night when Trevor contacted me to tell me Bernie had passed, I was more than a little shocked. Thirty-nine. Holy shit.  Far too young to go.

So on Sunday when I was out on my walk…

I thought of many memories of Bernie.. he was the first of Trevor’s friends I met.. Memories of us all hanging out.. parties..a few beers… Trevor’s 40th birthday where Bernie wore a “Trevor mask”.. the time he picked us up at the airport when we got back from Germany and on the way home we saw some deer at the Bridgeport cut off on the expressway.. on that same trip we saw a girl crash her car after she very nearly cut us off on the highway. She didnt’ though, as Bernie was an excellent driver…

As well, I was counting my blessings… my children, my health, my good friends… and I was also thankful that I had seen Bernie recently.

After Trevor and I broke up, Bernie and I didn’t speak for a while. Things were tense and .. well, you know.. break ups suck.

Bernie and Trevor at my house..

So it took some time before we re-friended on Facebook and the like..

A couple of weeks ago I went to CKWR to meet my friend Jeremy Smith for coffee… and I got to see Bernie.. it was a brief visit, but we poked fun at one another (apparently I change my Facebook status far too often..) and had a nice chat and a hug.
For the rest of the week, I’d change my Facebook status and mention Bernie’s name in it..  just to be a jerk.

“Beth thinks Bernie will be impressed that this is only the second status update today”

“Beth is desperately trying to avoid changing her status more than twice today… she doesn’t want to offend Bernie”

“Beth apologizes to Bernie for changing her status 3 times today. Please don’t unfriend me Bernie!”

And now Bernie’s gone.

There are many, many other people who were far closer to Bernie than I was and who will feel his loss far more deeply.  But, we were friends.. and I’m glad I saw him that day.

Thirty-nine. Holy.  So sad.

Just drives the point home.. We really only have today. We don’t know what’s in store for us tomorrow.

Thankful that I saw Bernie. Thankful that we were friends.

Just thankful for life.

And each of us today has reason to be thankful… Thankful that we spent time with  and were friends with and knew Bernie… For however brief that time may have been….

8 responses to “Thankful

  1. Far to young..was Bernie a married man,children?

    Live today ..great youngest brother died at 17 ..just beginning his life..

    My heart goes out to Bernies family and friends… : (

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  3. Times like this, there’s just nothing to say, is there?

    Thoughts are with you and all his loved ones.

  4. Beth,
    Bernie spoke of that day. He said it was great to see you.
    He told me the story about him teasing you about you FB status.
    I believe we were on our way to TO where he surprised me for
    our anniversary. Anyway, always remember that he ejoyed seeing
    You that day. You and Trevor were great friends to him!
    Thank you for your love and support of Bernie!

    • Jenn..
      I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now.. and can’t even think of anything remotely adequate…
      Sorry for your loss just does not seem like enough.

      Bernie was a great guy.. I liked him very much.. and I know that many, many people thought so highly of him. Trevor especially.

      Thank you so much for letting me know what Bernie said. It means a lot.


  5. A beautiful tribute to your friend, and a reality check for the rest of us. Thank you for writing this, Beth. ♥

  6. Very nice blog today Beth. I’m so sad the world has lost another soul that made it a better place to be.

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