Today is the 20th Anniversary of the Day I was married.
Now, normally people say congratulations without hesitation and give you a lovely gift or a bottle of wine and all.. especially when you reach a milestone like 20 years. However, I said it was the 20th Anniversary of my day as a bride.. not my 20th Anniversary.
We’ve been apart for 5 years now.. we separated just a few days before our 15th wedding anniversary and divorced about a year later.
And of course, with any breakup, there’s hurt, anger, disappointment, tears, more anger, blame, yelling, silence, more tears… and after a while.. relief. And peace. At least in our situation.
I spoke with my ex husband briefly today on the phone and I did wish him a Happy Anniversary on the phone. I’m pretty sure he had forgotten what day it was.. but at least being an “ex” he had no responsibility to remember (although he may have even if we were still married anyway.. )
The day Jamie and I were married was the Friday of the Thanksgiving weekend. I had a big white dress and big curly 80’s hair and Jamie wore a tux and cowboy boots and he too had big curly 80’s hair and a Burton Cummings porn stache. All of our friends and family were there.. we had a great band.. the groom sang most of the night, there were a lot of great speeches and all in all it was a ton of fun.
So it’s a little sad that we aren’t together to celebrate 20 years… but I still think it’s still appropriate to consider this a “happy” anniversary.
As a result of that day 20 years ago, we had many good years together, produced two beautiful children, and many terrific memories. Sure, we had our share of misfortune, fights and “bad” times.. and unfortunately we couldn’t get past all of what we went through.
But that’s okay.
We are who we are and where we are because of our life experiences. And really, I’m in a pretty good place right now I think.. and so is he. And most importantly, so are our kids.
So, I think it is a Happy Anniversary of sorts. Because regardless of our marital split, we’re still co-parents.. and although we aren’t a conventional family, we’re still family.
And I think that’s pretty cool.
Happy Anniversary Jamie. It’s all good.Life: It’s looking good! Love: Skip to the next one. Nothing to report at this time. Pants: My pants are too big.. just sayin’.