Archie Andrews has really let me down. He is dead to me.
Yes, I know he’s a comic book character. But still…
The Betty/Archie/Veronica love triangle has been going on for 70 years. Seriously. (Wow, they still look pretty good for their ages.) However, why on earth would any self respecting woman wait around for SEVENTY years? Oh yeah, they’re fictitious. But I digress..
When I was young, my sister and I had Archie paper dolls and we ALWAYS paired Reggie with Veronica and Betty & Archie. Each time I’d read a comic, I’d hope that Archie finally came to his senses and would pick Betty over Veronica. After all, Veronica’s kind of a bitch. That, and I had some kind of weird “matching” thing in my head where dark haired people should pair with dark haired people and lighter haired people with other light haired people.
Hey, I was a kid. I have no idea where I got this weird theory. I also believed that people kept growing until they were giants. Again, another flawed theory. But to get back on track….
Here’s the thing…. Most women I know are either a “Betty” or a “Veronica”. Think about it. You have the popular chick that is gorgeous and guys follow her around and she treats them like they all should be doing her bidding. Then you have the girls who are “buddies” with all the guys… the guys love her.. but as their pal.
Veronicas are damsels in distress, high maintenance and kind of a pain in the butt.. yet somehow always seem to have guys flocking about offering to buy her Cosmopolitans. Bettys can put oil in the car, operate power tools and play touch football with the guys.. sometimes better than the guys.. and she can take care of herself…and pays for her own beer. Bettys don’t need rescuing like Veronicas do.
When you outright ASK guys “Betty or Veronica?” they nearly ALWAYS say “Betty”. It’s not based on looks or hair colour…. (seriously, have you never noticed that they are identical except for hairdo? By the way, this should not be confused with the Wilma Flintstone vs. Betty Rubble discussion which is entirely different and I believe hair colour may play a part in that one. That, and Betty Rubble seems less uptight..another post perhaps.. )… they SAY that they prefer Betty because she is sweet and nice and genuinely cares for Archie.
Then you see them out with a Veronica. The hot chick. The one Bettys want to kick in the china. You know who I mean.
Everyone knows a guy who’s hung up on some chick who treats him like crap. Yet, he worships the ground she walks on for some insane reason. In REAL LIFE there’s always a Veronica. Why? Guys are competitive, cavemen types. They WANT to be the problem solvers, the knights in shining armour. So when Veronica treats them like garbage and ditches him for a Reggie, it’s a challenge they feel they must tackle.. like a mountain to climb, or eating the 32 oz steak at “Big Mike’s House of Meat”…
From a physical standpoint (dark hair and all..) I’d be more of a Veronica.. but no…. I’m a Betty. I’m always the guy’s “buddy”. I’m the one guys come talk to when their Veronica is ignoring them. I’m the chick that makes the guy feel better, they love to be around.. they flirt with.. but “don’t want to ruin the friendship”… and think I’m a “great girl”…..and then they introduce me to their new girlfriend. Who is a Veronica.
Regardless, what is so great about Archie anyway? He can barely hold down a job, he has a tic-tac-toe grid etched into the side of his head, drives a crap car and he’s always getting into some mess. And he’s totally hung up on Veronica. Whatever. Yeah so he’s nice and honest and stuff… but.. he’s still hung up on the Veronica.
Personally, looking at the Archie and Veronica engagement… I don’t think it will last. Sure, Veronica is saying yes now, but you KNOW she’s going to end up in some tryst with Reggie at some point because all Veronicas have that “love of bad boys” thing going on as well…
And Archie will realize that he’s made the wrong decision and try to go crawling back to Betty.. However, it would serve him right if she wasn’t still waiting around for him and had left Riverdale all together for some super adventure in some other fictitious town ..say, Washington or San Luis Obispo… or run off with Dilton Doiley .. who is likely the next Bill Gates (you know how we Bettys love the smart boys…)
But, what is Betty’s biggest fault and what also makes her so loveable.. Bettys are too “nice”. So maybe she’ll take Archie back.
And therefore I hope that in comics and in real life, my poll is correct, and boys really DO pick the Bettys of the world. Which I wouldn’t really call finishing last as much as being loyal.. and yes, nice.Life: these people are fictitious. THEY HAVE NO LIFE. But apparently neither do I blogging about comics.. Love: Archie loves Veronica. Really? REALLY? Pants: I split open my new pants tonight. That’s another post involving adventure and tornados.. stay tuned…