I believe that I have several legitimate undiagnosed medical conditions. ADD and OCD… Attention Deficit Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Maybe some others. But those two I am certain of. It would certainly explain why I am still in my pyjama pants at 2pm.
I admit, I am not the most organized person in the world. I mean, I have my moments.. I have my weird little systems.. I can usually find the passport/birth certificate/car keys/picture of my kindergarten class in the most random of places. It’s some weird idiot savant thing I have (emphasis on the savant, please and thank you…). I know where all my receipts are. Stuff like that…. But to MAIL something….? This is a huge deal for me…. I just suck at it. I admit it.
Online banking was the best invention ever! Before that, I would regularly receive the “excuse me, your account is overdue…” call, not cause I didn’t have the money, but because for the life of me I can’t remember to mail shit. Anytime anyone has said “hey can you drop this off for me?” I say “did you want it there this year?” I’ll INTEND to go mail it…. then get all distracted when I see a puppy or one of those guys with the pizza sign on the road and next thing you know I am getting the $5 deal at Little Caesar’s and the mail is still sitting in the car a week later.
See? My attention is elsewhere. It is deficit. And it is disorderly.
It causes me to be easily distracted by superficial things….. oooooooo …. shiny….. and, uh….. Yeah, I get off track.
I start one project, then move onto something entirely not so important because I get bored with the first one. So instead of finishing the first thing……
I’d like to explain to you about the OCD. This condition is entirely my mother’s fault. She admits it. I think she drank while she was pregnant. It would explain a lot.
(**Please note that on the advice of legal counsel, I have to express that this is, indeed a joke. My mother did NOT drink, smoke, drink coffee or ingest, inhale or even THINK about any harmful substance during any of her three pregnancies. The preceeding statement was merely for comic effect.**)
Regardless, my mother admits to the OCD tendencies. My sister has it too. Goes something like this…. so you have to go to an important function, one that requires you to spend a lot of time getting ready…. have a shower, dry the hair… start getting ready.. curling the hair.. when it suddenly becomes clear to you that you absolutely, positively, without a doubt, have to alphabetize your CDs!! It just HAS to be done now or there is no way you can even remotely enjoy yourself later.
Or how I suddenly feel the need to vacuum NOW just as I’m leaving the house. Or how I’ll HAVE to go buy fabric to make curtains for the kitchen TODAY, even though I have absolutely no plans to make those curtains before the end of the month…. or maybe ever.
Perhaps I have these issues due to the several head injuries I’ve incurred: hit my head on the bathtub, hit over the head with a hammer, fell down a mountain, fell down several flights of stairs, hit my head on the pavement falling out of a shopping cart… I think that’s it. Thank goodness it didn’t impair my memory.. what was I saying? Oh yeah, OCD….
Seriously, I think this is the only logical explanation. After all, why else haven’t I sent out 3 resumes today? Or gone to work out? Or folded the laundry? Or walked the dog? Or gotten dressed?
It’s not like I’ve done NOTHING…. Because, after all, I HAVE managed to exchange several joke emails with my friends, update my Facebook status.. twice… msn with the daughter whilst she is in class (don’t tell her psych teacher..).. look up funny quotes from Pinky and the Brain… flirt shamelessly with a cute boy on the internet.. change my FB picture.. change my msn picture.. watch some YouTube videos.. read Perez Hilton, write this blog and reheat my coffee. See? I HAVE accomplished SOMETHING.
It’s obviously these legitimate medical conditions that are holding me back and for which I shall seek immediate help. After all, it can’t possibly just be procrastination……
Hey! Wanna ride bikes????
Life: I put the PRO in Procrastination. Baby steps.. Please note that this entry was started on WEDNESDAY but didn’t make it up till THURSDAY…….
Love: Other than online flirting…… nothing to report. I do love curry, however.
Pants: THIS I have been good at and NOT putting off. I have been going to the Y and sweating. Yay me!