Sex in the Gas Station

A lovely girl I know read my blog and remarked “it’s like Sex in the City meets Corner Gas”.. so I figure, it’s Sex in the Gas Station. Which is a wholly depressing thought, given the types you often see using the facilities at many of these establishments. And so that it does not come to that, I continue on my journey of self discovery and weight loss.

The plan is multi tiered. First off, me and my BFF who I shall refer to as Carmen (as that is her real name..) decided that we would offer each other support, comfort and encouragement through a Facebook group (Drunk Hard…Skinny Fast) and an online diary of our weightloss to which we would each contribute. ( We would invite others to join in our journey.. hopefully offering tips, recipes.. you know.. stuff.

Second part of the plan is to cut back on the booze. We like booze. Seriously, I know few who do not. ‘Nuff said. It has contributed to my girth. This I know. Trying to drink more water and less things that are bad for me.

#3 – Move, work out, stop sitting around so much. I SUCK at this one. It’s true. Not gonna lie.

Step 4 – Stop eating so much crap. Kinda ties in with #2.

Thus far, I haven’t been too bad in the food and booze department, but have sucked ass in the working out department. However, I have discovered several golden nuggets of inspiration today. I am excited.

Today I made a little list of things I wanted to do.. shovelling (duh), going to the Y, emailing a few people and applying for a couple of jobs. Before I even finished my first coffee I had taken care of the emailing and resumes! I was on a roll!

I then proceeded to shovelling.. the bane of my existence in the frozen north. I finished in 35 minutes today! That is a new record.. I felt inspired. Yet still, I felt I needed more motivation. I expressed to Carmen via MSN my plan… I needed “BEFORE” photos. After all, once I am super skinny and beautiful I need to show how beastly I was BEFORE, right?

I set up the webcam (offline of course) and took a few pics. Suffice to say that I have provided myself with a healthy level of self loathing.

Everytime I even THINK about scarfing back some McD’s.. or whipping up some potato pancakes.. or eating anything else that is super delicious but poison to my thighs….. I will just look at these photos. I am totally serious. If you see me in public.. looking at my blackberry and tearing up a wee bit.. well, you’ll know what’s going on, cause honey, these bad boys are sure to work.

However, these photographs have now put a HUGE dent in the “get a boyfriend” New Year’s Resolution. NO ONE is seeing me looking like this without a lot of dim lighting and liquor.

I then actually called the Y and managed to get an appointment with a trainer today. So this afternoon I hit the road and made my way over for the meeting that would change my life… okay, overly dramatic..

Got to the Y, checked in, got a locker.. went up for my appointment with Tim, the Trainer. THANK GOD he did not measure me or use those freakin’ fat calipers (I can already tell you, it will be on the “blubbo” reading…) or even weigh me. He TRUSTED ME to tell him how much I weighed. AND I DID NOT LIE. This would be the first time ever I have not lied to a man about how much I weigh. Mark it down. Historic occasion.

Tim then showed me the fancy ass system they have at the Y… you enter your special number on the computer on each machine and it tracks how much exercise you have done. Super awesome terrific! Not only that but the BEST PART.. you can MANUALLY add in activities that you have done that burn calories!!! YOU CAN COUNT SNOW SHOVELLING!!!!!!! Thank you Jeebus!

Tim the trainer showed me all of the machines, set the settings for me etc.. and then I only had one machine left.. We waited for the guy to get off and Tim grabbed it and was about to set it up when a guy on another machine says “Uh, I’ve been sitting here waiting for that machine” to which Tim replies “Oh sorry sir, did you want to use it real fast?” and Jerkface says “I don’t do ANYTHING fast…..” Tim and I are both uncertain if this was directed at me or him. Regardless, he is neither of our types. However, I do believe I saw this guy on Lavalife. And I think he’s a cross dresser. But I digress……

After Tim showed me all the machines, he showed me how to “log off” the system.. at which point it told me that I had lifted over TWENTY SIX HUNDRED POUNDS today! That certainly made me feel like I had accomplished something. I like this fancy ass system!

And thank freakin’ Mary, Jesus and Joseph… cause I’m not sure if another provincial blackout and a kegger are enough to get me naked in the state I’m in.. never mind have sex in a gas station.. 😉

Life: Optimistic!
Love: Not bloody likely at this point in time. LOL
Pants: I’m still down a little over 5lbs… but with those pictures and my other means of inspiration I’ll be dropping weight like crazy in no time! haha

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